Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

school drop off

133 replies

50shadesofmeh · 02/10/2015 09:07

ok very trivial matter but not sure if I'm hacked off unnecessarily , at start of week my neighbour and i who have an arrangement for school drop offs, says to me she will take kids tuesday wednesday , ok i say i will take them thursday friday but on wednesday morning my whole family slept in, so we each did our own school run, i told her right away so she could take her own child in time and not wait on us. we took her child yesterday and today was a mexican stand off to see who would take the kids, which culminated in us having to go 2 days in a row , who's turn was it do you think?

OP posts:
MagicDucky · 02/10/2015 10:29

Now you're being very childish OP. Wah wah!! People think I'm wrong so now I'm going to pity myself, poor me, what a terrible human I am. You are NOT a terrible human being. You're just being a bit of a moron right now. Chill out.

InimitableJeeves · 02/10/2015 10:29

so should i have left her to take her own child ? i picked kids up with a smile, i did what was required and stuck to my end of the bargain

So why do you say there was a Mexican standoff to see who would take the children? That strongly indicates that you were trying to get out of sticking to your end of the bargain. You can't have it both ways.

nocabbageinmyeye · 02/10/2015 10:30

i merely made the faux pas of asking on here if i was missing something

Your only saying that because people aren't agreeing with you, you asked were you being unreasonale, you clearly expected people to say you weren't however from that glance I have had at the comments most, myself included, think you are being unreasonable.

You sound petty really, you are considering ending an arrangement because you "slept in once in 3 years" - exactly, it was once in 3 years, breath, chalk to down to experience and move one, your way overthinking this

Original poster
50shadesofmeh · 02/10/2015 10:30

i genuinely would have taken the kids if she had done it the day before, its happened before. i don't understand why people need to be so aggressive on here, I'm off work with anxiety and depression and a small baby and people seem to enjoy making you feel bad on here.

OP posts:
perfumedlife · 02/10/2015 10:32

You said you worked full time, now it's off work?

Forget the 'every other day' thing, you committed to her two days then your two days. You are really unreasonable here.

TheLambShankRedemption · 02/10/2015 10:33

We are not here to make you feel bad, just to let you know YABU. Take it on the chin and shake it off.

MagicDucky · 02/10/2015 10:34

Oh grow up. You're being very silly. You were wrong. It's not the end of the world, you're not a terrible human being and you're not being told that either. Everyone is wrong sometimes. You just say "Awww well, I'll get it right next time!"

myotherusernameisbetter · 02/10/2015 10:35

I don't think most people are trying to make you feel bad. It just seems so obvious to most people that it was your turn.

I'm sorry that you are feeling unwell, maybe this is something you need to mention again to the Dr or health visitor? You seem to be overly concerned and anxious about the arrangement so maybe it would be better to end it or just say to the other parent that you are struggling so at least she knows the situation.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/10/2015 10:35

Please don't try and guilt people because you have problems you didn't mention. People responded to your posts, don't flounce and leave trying to make us feel bad.

Original poster
50shadesofmeh · 02/10/2015 10:35

yes i work full time, I'm currently off sick with stress.

OP posts:
UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 02/10/2015 10:36

For gawd's sake chill OP. No, you didn't commit a crime, and I'm sure you're not a terrible human being. You were being a bit unreasonable to get het up about today though - because it was clearly still your turn.

If you've not said anything to your neighbour, then there's no damage done. She's probably blissfully unaware that you've got yourself into such a state if you picked up her dc with a smile this morning.

InimitableJeeves · 02/10/2015 10:36

Hang on, you said you worked full time and that this arrangement was due to your shifts?

I don't think people are enjoying making you feel bad, they are genuinely mystified why you think the arrangement you had agreed to would have changed, and you haven't explained that at all.

InimitableJeeves · 02/10/2015 10:38

And I still don't understand how picking up the neighbour's kids with a smile ties in with the Mexican stand-off?

Shesinfashion · 02/10/2015 10:38

Losing argument so moves on to the anxiety and depression excuse. So predictable.

PrivatePike · 02/10/2015 10:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItchyArmpit · 02/10/2015 10:39

You'll feel a little bit less stressed if you don't start feuds with neighbours over the fact that you slept in once.

Seriously, stick a card & a small box of chocs through the door, saying you're sorry about the crossed wires, can you have a fresh start next week?

It doesn't have to be a big deal, and it will save you two school runs a week - potentially for years - if you deal with this gracefully now.

BastardGoDarkly · 02/10/2015 10:40

Ah op Brew honestly, don't take it to heart, in the larger picture, none of it matters.

You didn't let neighbour know you were a bit Confused no harm done, these things happen with sharing drop offs, it's no biggie, don't cancel the arrangement.

And I'm sure you know MN can be caustic at times, if you're feeling sensitive, just stick to reading/posting on other threads?

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 02/10/2015 10:40

Yes you should have left them to their own devices because she would have gone oh I see we did our own thing on Wednesday we're doing our own thing today we've both done equal this week. Fine circumstances have changed. Which you yourself said because you overslept on Wednesday!

However you turned up with a smile and took her kid to school so she's thought oh ok Wednesday had had no affect on the arrangement that's great your still taking the kids to school as we agreed and wedneday still counts as my day! M

The thing is, no ones being agressive, yes there was one you don't sound old enough to have kids, it's just everyone's pointing out it was your turn and you are being unreasonable, and because of the way your feeling you've taken it personally. It doesn't change the fact you we unreasonable, sorry you were, I get it's not what you want to hear and you want us all to go no she should have but we're not going to cos your illness like the oversleep doesn't change that you had already agreed to take her child on Friday and because of that she presumed you would and then when you turned up you proved to her that the arrangement was still going a head as previously agreed! Your illness maybe explains you oversleeping, but it doesn't really affect what the arrangement was!

Original poster
50shadesofmeh · 02/10/2015 10:40

thanks itchy armpit, thats what i'll do thanks for the non goady advice.

OP posts:
myotherusernameisbetter · 02/10/2015 10:45

I think feeling stressed etc does make you a bit more confused and it's harder to see the logic of it all. Maybe you should have posted last nigh and asked if we thought it was your turn today you wouldn't have had such as stressful morning :)

spiderlight · 02/10/2015 11:01

I have anxiety/depression problems too and I know how something like this can feel huge when you're in the depths of it, but it's not worth falling out over. Let it go - fresh start next week!

Original poster
50shadesofmeh · 02/10/2015 11:04

thank you spiderlight, i think my state of mind is clouding my thinking and making me annoyed unnecessarily.

OP posts:
whooshbangprettycolours · 02/10/2015 11:07

I'm not surprised you have anxiety, you don't think straight - that is not an insult; you really really do not see life like most people and that must be very stressful. Although it might seem confusing and hard to understand, you are wrong.

Cloppysow · 02/10/2015 11:09

Lesson 1 of MN

Never post on AIBU if you:

A) Can't handle the response
B) Are feeling even slightly sensitive
C) Don't have the hide of a rhino
D) Add important details when you're told YABU

Try chat. It's a much friendlier place. You'll probably still be told you're unreasonable but it's usually delivered with kindness.

Cloppysow · 02/10/2015 11:11

Prettycolours

I'd be inclined to think the not thinking straight is a result of the anxiety and depression rather than the other way round.

Swipe left for the next trending thread