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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

school drop off

133 replies

50shadesofmeh · 02/10/2015 09:07

ok very trivial matter but not sure if I'm hacked off unnecessarily , at start of week my neighbour and i who have an arrangement for school drop offs, says to me she will take kids tuesday wednesday , ok i say i will take them thursday friday but on wednesday morning my whole family slept in, so we each did our own school run, i told her right away so she could take her own child in time and not wait on us. we took her child yesterday and today was a mexican stand off to see who would take the kids, which culminated in us having to go 2 days in a row , who's turn was it do you think?

OP posts:

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot · 02/10/2015 10:03

You made a mistake, no it's not a crime, but because of your own mistake you missed out on the benefit of the agreement on Wednesday.

All that should have happened was that you apologised for any confusion or inconvenience you might have caused and then you move on, carrying on the turn-taking as arranged. She shouldn't have had to ask if you were taking the children on Friday because that had already been agreed.

Original poster

50shadesofmeh · 02/10/2015 10:03

so as we did yesterday i assumed it would be her turn today, she didn't query this and neither did i so we both waited for each other until i thought, ok it must be us.

OP posts:

Original poster

50shadesofmeh · 02/10/2015 10:04

that is what happened The incredible hence why I'm venting on here, the other mum is none the wiser, i just wanted to know if i was being silly for being annoyed about it.

OP posts:

PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/10/2015 10:05

I'm failing to understand how you think your attitude is reasonable. You made a mistake, you had previously agreed to take them today. Why shouldn't you because of your error?

LisaD1 · 02/10/2015 10:05

It was your turn, you had agreed to take them today and it was entirely your own making that she didn't take yours on Wednesday.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 02/10/2015 10:06

wow, so because you overslept and didn't take her child on Wednesday, you want the agreed arrangement to change so that you do less than you agreed to?! You sound petty and churlish OP. Either carry your responsibilities to the arrangement or apologise to your neighbour for being such a letdown and let her make arrangements with someone more reliable instead!

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 02/10/2015 10:06

But you were always doing yesterday - you'd agreed to do Thurs and Fri. It's not her fault she didn't do Wed for you, she would have done had you not overslept.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 02/10/2015 10:06

thing is ok, your complaining cos it ended up you had to do three days running, but how would your children have got to school today if you hadn't taken them. It's not her turn it was you that messed up Wednesday, you both did the school run on Wednesday, if you hadn't taken her kids today you would have had to do your own school runs today. It definately wasn't her turn to take your kids!

InimitableJeeves · 02/10/2015 10:06

But why did you assume it must be her turn today, when you'd previously agreed to take them on Thursday and Friday? How could you have thought that had changed unless you had specifically agreed with your friend that it had?

Original poster

50shadesofmeh · 02/10/2015 10:06

also I'm happy to do the school run 5 days a week, i couldn't care less about lie ins, i work full time and i have 2 other children, no day is a rest for me, the arrangement benefits her far more than me.

OP posts:

Original poster

50shadesofmeh · 02/10/2015 10:07

because we take turns about inimitable its not a set in stone agreement.

OP posts:

Original poster

50shadesofmeh · 02/10/2015 10:07

i would have just taken my own child naught to but didn't have the heart to not pick up her child.

OP posts:

MissingPanda · 02/10/2015 10:08

at start of week my neighbour and i who have an arrangement for school drop offs, says to me she will take kids tuesday wednesday , ok i say i will take them thursday friday but on wednesday morning my whole family slept in, so we each did our own school run,

YABU

You said you would take them on the Friday so why should that change just because you overslept on the Wednesday?

Original poster

50shadesofmeh · 02/10/2015 10:08

just to point out i did 3 days last week out of 5 she did 2.

OP posts:

ExitPursuedByABear · 02/10/2015 10:11

Your neighbour is an entitled bitch and you should cease all contact immediately.

Fuckitfay · 02/10/2015 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 02/10/2015 10:12

No it wasn't her turn today because you did it yesterday, so it was your turn on Wednesdaybevause she did Tuesday. then so you've put her out by oversleeping she should be the one on her being annoyed.

You said the agreement was she did Tuesday and wedneday two consecutive days, she tpok her own kids only on wedneday because YOU over slept, that is not her fault, she would have done Wednesday if your kids had been ready! You would do Thursday and Friday also two consecutive days, I fail to understand how it's her turn because you did it yesterday! It wasn't every other day it was every two days!

TheLambShankRedemption · 02/10/2015 10:13

I think you are being a bit unreasonable on this, although having done shared school runs, sometimes it is easy to feel this way.

Accept there will be bumps and hitches and it isn't going to be perfect 100% of the time because that's life. To cancel the whole thing over one mishap seems a bit much. You can learn from the experience and make a rule between you that if someone mucks up - because that is going to happen occasionally - the other picks up the slack the day after, or whatever works for you both.

Let it go.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 02/10/2015 10:13

Yes but you agreed to a plan for this week and then wanted to change it because of your error. I really can't understand how you can't see how unreasonable you are being.

MissingPanda · 02/10/2015 10:13

Last week is irrelevant as is any other week. The fact remains that you agreed to take them on the Friday and nothing happened to alter that. You oversleeping does not mean that you don't take them on Friday. I doubt she was having a stand off, just waiting for you to pick her DC up as agreed.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 02/10/2015 10:14

Burn the house down and move to Iceland
All the mums love it apparently

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 02/10/2015 10:14

Who did Monday?! As there's 5 days in a week there's always going to be someone who does 3 days while the other does 2 unless you half take them to school on Wednesday and she meets them half way there which seens well pointless!

TheLambShankRedemption · 02/10/2015 10:14

And if all else fails, you can feel good that you are being 'golden boot' by car-sharing therefore being environmentally friendlier.

titchy · 02/10/2015 10:15

Look the rules of common courtesy are REALLY simple.

You have an arrangement. If that arrangement falls down BECAUSE OF YOU, you are responsible for getting it back on track. YOU have caused the issue, YOU have to make sure it doesn't impact on the other person.

I really can't understand why you can't see that....

Original poster

50shadesofmeh · 02/10/2015 10:16

hno fuck it she was meant to go on weds and she still did minus my child, she has not been put out in any way.

OP posts:

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