Help me make this choice" (cat related) (title amended by MNHQ)

[LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary]

Hi all,

I had a previous thread in AIBU about getting a cat - perhaps someone clever could post the link? The vast consensus was that i should re-home an older cat due to my circumstances:
I'm out 12hrs 5 days a week for work but at home evenings and weekends. I live alone in a spacious, quiet flat in a cul-de-sac with a large shared garden. I don't really go on holidays. There are some other cats in the area.

OK fine. So I went to the local rescue today and am now torn between 2 cats and need to decide: Both are 9yr old females with no health problems.

Cat A: Not used to other cats. Affectionate - rubbed head on my hand and licked & purred but doesn't like to be picked up. Was a tiny bit scratchy and hissy at one point.

Cat B: Nice & small. Clung to me for dear life - incredibly affectionate. Was like having a baby in a wrap-thing. Used to other cats.

The cat sanctuary people said either would be fine for me but I was surprised Cat B could be left alone for long periods. They have no particular concerns about Cat A with other cats - it just hasn't been tested yet!

I love them both already and am completely torn.
Any advice would be really appreciate, thank you.

I agree Blah Blah, using Sophie's choice in a lighthearted quote is not akin to laughing at the holocaust - I can't be bothered to go back and get a direct quote from pps.
It is a term often banded about to mean make a tough decision.

Op, I went for a feisty cat that no one else wanted. She bit and scratched people who came to see her, she still doesn't like being picked up 6years later.
We adore her though, she had been in a cat foster home for quite some time, the woman who had her loved her but wanted to re home her because she led the other cars astray. Tbh we felt bad that so many other people didn't want her, and we liked her style.

Can't you get both...? They sound like they might make a lovely pair.

I would get both, they will most likely just ignore each other...

They sleep an awful lot and harass when they want food and cuddles.

I have seen the film, albeit years ago, but I remember the scene where she has to choose. Sophie's Choice was still just a film, and people do use the term 'Sophie's Choice' in reference to having to make a hard decision.

If I saw someone use the term 'rule of thumb' I could wade in and chastise them for belittling the plight of domestic abuse victims. Or I could not derail a thread where the term did have relevance of some kind - as is the case here. So I'm not going to get into it anymore, because I doubt any of us will change our positions.

Keep us posted with updates OP!

Thanks all!
If anyone has any dreams in the night or sudden epiphanies, please do share.

I say take both too (if they can be introduced first) but then we have 4 cats! I do think by having two they keep each other company while you aren't at home. I know ours all love to bundle up and cuddle!

OP don't worry. I asked at work if anyone knew of the origins of Sophies Choice. I knew purely because when years ago a reference was made in friends and I googled it. Bar 2 people nobody in a team of 20 knew where the term Sophie's Choice came from.

Fwiw I'd choose cat a because I'd be worried cat b would be lonely alone all day

I had a black cat with a white bib - adopted as a kitten and he was a thoroughly happy little boy in an upstairs flat. But I would walk him outside on a lead - or tucked in my coat "to give him fresh air". He had plenty of exercise in the flat - lots of room to dribble cob nuts out of my nut bowl and chase them up and down the lounge, or even down the stairs that led to my inner-front door. I would come home from work, open my inner front door and find a pile of cobs nuts there. When he dribbled one and 'lost it' he went back to the bowl and got another one.

When I moved to a house with a garden he never went very far - just watched the world go by from under a shrub. Some cats simply don't want to wander far and hunt.

However, when he was 8 yrs old and we were in our new house, a neighbour was going to drown a recently-bought kitten in the river at the back of my house because it was pooing in the kitchen. They knocked on my door (the only cat-lover in the cul-de-sac), told me what they were going to do and asked if I would prefer to take it. I worried more about my 8 year old cat to be honest, so I said "B might be too old to accept another cat. It will have to be up to him. Give me 2 hours to let B make a decision" I introduced the kitten to him and after an initial puzzled look, he started to wash her and then wrapped her inside his tummy.

He was so happy to have a little feline friend to snuggle and play with when I was at work, I don't know why I hadn't considered it before! If you can afford to take BOTH cats (food and vet bills) can I suggest you adopt both. I have had 5 cats in my life-time now, and I would never have a single one if I could afford two together.

I now have a dog ..... yep! The 'cat-lady' got a dog when she was widowed and the last elderly cat died! The dog is also rescued from age 6yrs (I like to take the unadoptable ones!) and is now over 16yrs old. But I miss the lap-strokes, the feet-fights under the duvet, the poking of eye-lids to wake you up .... and it isn't the same sleeping with 30kg of dog on the other half of the bed who steals all of the duvet during the night and thinks he can build a nest with it

Are you able to take both OP? If you're really torn between the two, and would be out the house in the day, I'd get both so they have some company.

Oh please say you're taking both. They are so lovely. I can't wait until I live in a pet-friendly home.

UPDATE: DECISION MADE!!

Well I am sitting here on my sofa, with Cat A poking round her new home! Sadly, they could not be homed together and Cat B is ultimately a bit too needy for someone who works long hours. She would probably cry a bit if left alone. I was also concerned she might need a bit of vet care as she came from a bad home whereas Cat A is clearly fit & healthy. Cat B needs the opportunity to be around other animals, children and people whereas I live alone and am a bit antisocial!

Cat A is called Kenzo. She answers to that name so I won't change it, although I am not crazy about it!

I will charge up the camera batteries and take some pics for you once she is settled.

I realise this is not the decision most of you were going for but I feel comfortable with it. I will keep phoning til I hear that Cat B (who is called Lily) has been adopted.

If anyone wants Lily, she is at Lothian Cat Rescue outside Edinburgh. :-)

Many thanks for all your thoughts!

Wish us luck!

Ah good luck to you and Kenzo, bet you are so pleased! I'm sure Lily will find the right home for her.

"Hobson's choice is better"

Well better as in not offensive but it's not accurate. Hobson's choice is in effect no choice at all (you can either hire that horse there, or you can't hire one at all)

Thank you!
I couldn't get to sleep until 4am last night/this morning.
The decision was torture!
It has been the right one, though.
She is already parked on the sofa next to me, purring. She is very happy!

Kenzo is a beautiful torbie. I bet she'll be in charge in no time . Good luck!

Aww, Kenzo! What a cute name. I hope she has a happy life with you :)

Just a thought Op - it's perfectly ok to change a cat's name if you don't like it. They catch on pretty quickly. She looks like a Maisie or a Cleo to me. Either way am v jealous- she's lovely!

Get both op. You can never have too many cats!

I changed one of my cat's names. The other arrived without a name. Their given names aren't always the names I use though...

OP don't worry. I asked at work if anyone knew of the origins of Sophies Choice. I knew purely because when years ago a reference was made in friends and I googled it. Bar 2 people nobody in a team of 20 knew where the term Sophie's Choice came from.

I know the OP didn't mean to offend anyone and I'm glad the title was changed. I find it odd though that "Sophie's Choice" has entered our language without people knowing what it referred to. I can understand people never having heard of it but I'm more stumped by them having heard of it but simply thinking it means "a bit of a choice". To me, it isn't even a film. It's a book that's considered a classic of 20th-century literature. And yes, unintentional though it was, its use was quite offensive. Not "oh my god, burn her"* offensive, just "OP that's not appropriate, please get it changed" offensive.

• An expression which actually is quite offensive in itself. I'll shut up now.

Congrats on your new cat op.

I think it probably is something that is just due to the age we are living in.
I was very surprised that people had heard the term Sophie's choice but didn't actually know where it came from. But when you think of some of the expressions and sayings we use without thinking, can you honestly say you know the origins of all of them? I use so many expressions and don't know where they came from (but for the life of me I cannot think of any decent examples)

Oh cactus leave her alone! Unless you're joking?

Don't know if CactusAnnie is being serious, but made me laugh out loud!

Omg saying a decision was torture isn't being offensive!
Id be like that if i had to decide between two cats!!
You can change the name op.
I've changed my partners cats 10year old cat name he def answers to it, well he only answers to me now!

Isn't Sophie's Choice a fictional film? As OP said, it has been used in a comedy sense often, so there's really no need at all to snotty about it.

Comedy sense? Snotty? Are you for fucking real BlahBlah?

Please explain the 'comedy sense' of choosing at gunpoint which of your children dies (or they both do).

Of course Sophie would be a good name for a cat.

Sorry. I'll get my coat.