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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not invite my sister for Christmas, knowing she will spend it alone

151 replies

eedon · 28/09/2015 09:26

I want to just have Christmas just with my own family and people I want around. My sister unfortunately I don't get on well with an no one wants her around, just brings a bad atmosphere with her. Without sounding like a bitch, its probably her own fault that her marriage broke down and she has no friends to spend Christmas with. Her attitude and the way she treats people is exactly why.

Aibu to not invite her? She probably will have a few pity invites and mine would just be another.

OP posts:
GreyhoundzRool · 02/09/2019 05:59

THIS THREAD IS FOUR YEARS OLD I think the time has passed

shithappens123 · 02/09/2019 06:11

Lol I think Xmas 2015 has come and gone

Jesaminecollins · 02/09/2019 06:27

Ha ha I didn't look at the date - why do some posters bring back old threads?

Lowlandlucky · 02/09/2019 06:33

Dont invite her

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/09/2019 06:38

Bit late - was FOUR YEARS AGO

PollyPelargonium52 · 02/09/2019 07:14

I don't have siblings but if I did I would only invite them if I got on well with them.

If she asks you to have her over Xxmas then perhaps you could invent somewhere you have been invited to as an excuse for not inviting her?

PollyPelargonium52 · 02/09/2019 07:15

I would love to hear how the past 4 years have gone. Nosey aren't I!

Tiredtessy · 02/09/2019 07:18

These replies are way to harsh, no one seems to give a shit when people go NC with various parents.

If shes likely to ruin it dont invite her or kick her out if she turns into a twat.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/09/2019 07:29

I would too actually, PollyPlargonium. I always like to think that the OP is on the up and up and that whatever it is, has safely passed.

Sotiredofthislife · 02/09/2019 07:29

You are trying to justify your lack of invitation with ‘she has no friends to spend it with’ when Xmas is generally a time for families. And you’re it. I’m an only child and lost my mum this year and my dad 10 years ago. My kids will be with their dad. Be grateful you have family and maybe reach out, eh?

TirisfalPumpkin · 02/09/2019 07:31

Zombie thread!

Dillydallyalltheway · 02/09/2019 07:47

I completely understand where you are coming from. I’ve had my mum for Christmas for the last 23 years, apart from once when she went to “a friends “ apparently she had a marvellous time with no noisy children running around and not being quiet at the table!! I have another sibling who stated from the the word go that they won’t be offering an invitation at Christmas because they only want their partner and children! (Their children are now 25 and 28)
This year I told my mum in February that we are going to stay with our son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren this year for Christmas and still, my sister won’t let her come for Christmas. It hasn’t gone down very well but I’m not going to back down.

Bubsworth · 02/09/2019 07:52

So did she invite her to Christmas 2015?

Teacher22 · 02/09/2019 07:55

I don’t think these horrible comments about the OP are justified. I have endured endless bullying from my DS and it has, at times over the years, made me miserable and, indeed, ill.

Yes, reach out to people at Christmas and spread the good will around. But no one should have to endure the presence of someone who will ruin things for others. You do not have to sacrifice your own peace of mind and happiness so that another person can enjoy being spiteful, surely?

Chloemol · 02/09/2019 08:02

I think you know what you want to do, but also know it leaves a family member on their own, however though it is to have her there. You could talk to her and tell her what the issues you have with her are

However I do this it’s bitchy that you come onto MN hoping that posters will assuage the guilt you feel s you know you are being nasty and tell you it’s ok

BustedDreams · 02/09/2019 08:13

I’m all for posters to start their threads. However I’m unclear as to why you’ve posted, especially in the AIBU thread.

It seems you’ve made your mind up and also you didn’t invite her last year and no ones world combusted.

Wishing you Seasons Greetings & Goodwill to all men (but not sisters Grin)

BustedDreams · 02/09/2019 08:20

Oh no I’ve posted on a Zombie 🧟‍♀️ thread. How do they reignite?

Aprillygirl · 02/09/2019 08:22

YABU for posting about Christmas when we're barely into fucking September!

Aprillygirl · 02/09/2019 08:24

Oh it's an old thread. It was still posted in September though, so my previous post still stands.

Grumpelstilskin · 02/09/2019 08:32

Why should all the shitty stuff someone does be magically suspended and forgotten for a day because it is Christmas! There is a massive hypocrisy going on when in AIBU posters are generally told to not be manipulated or taken advantage of by CFs and toxic people. Yet OP gets flamed for actually standing up for her and her family to not have it ruined by someone that is unpleasant.

Grumpelstilskin · 02/09/2019 08:33

Ooops just realised this is an old thread.

Apolloanddaphne · 02/09/2019 08:34

It was posted in September 2015 folks!

Pharlapwasthebest · 02/09/2019 08:50

But now we need to know what happened!....

Hecateh · 02/09/2019 08:56

Christmas is just another day. 24 hours that passes in the same period as any other day.
I am often alone at Christmas - from choice.

I do get invites - and I'm pretty sure they're not pity invites as they are from people I spend time with anyway. I enjoy my Christmas Day alone almost as much as the alternate ones when my adult children come to me.

Rainonmyguitar · 02/09/2019 09:18

You sound nasty. Really nasty

The irony of this.