AIBU to bite her face?

[WyldChyld]

I will start by saying that I LOVE my DP (darling person, that is). She and ODP (other darling person) rescued me, cleaned me up and feed me far more than is good for me. DP is also very squishy and round soft and I like very much to knead her and sink my lovely claws into her flab skin.

I have noticed, however, that she does not seem to appreciate this and keeps showing me that her belly is all covered in red pinpricks and scratches. I personally think this makes her look very interesting and distinguished, and a little bit like a leopard who I am obviously related to distantly. She particularly dislikes this at nighttime when she is in the lovely squishy bed that I like to take up lots of.

Anyway, when I knead her at nighttime, she hides under the duvet and damnit, I want cuddles! I don't care that it is 3am and she is getting up in 3 hours, I need love now!! So I normally then decide to bite her nose / chin / finger / engagement ring / ear /whatever is poking out of the duvet. She says that apparently IABU - well, I couldn't believe my ears!

Cats of Catsnet, back me up here. Any suggestions for how I can bring her terrible behaviour back in line? I don't want to have to resort to the water pistol (no opposable thumbs)

WyldCat

YADNBU!
Darkrosecat loved to do that and dribble all over me. I wish she was still here to do it

Why are you pretending to be a cat? are you alright?

I just don't get posts like these

^what they said

That's good but you're going to need more not to be declared Fit For Work.

^ I concur

You're not waking your people up enough! You should noisily start to hunt for something that might have moved in the room about an hour after they've gone to sleep. And then every hour after that. That'll learn them.

Or run up and down stairs like a mad thing. They lurve that.

TibbaCats

What you could do is wait until the wee small hours and have a mad wrestling match with one of your fellow cats.

Three LilacCats here. LilacGreyCat and LilacStripeyCat feel that nighttime is clearly the best time for scrapping and chasing around.

Apparently, humans don't like it.

I love threads like this so nerr to the naysayers.

I do the same and have no idea why they don't like it either. Humans are strange.

ophiocat

Hmm. Have you tried miaowing really loud as well? Then the biting will seem far more reasonable to your DP.

Personally I don't 'get' why people who don't 'get' threads like this post on them. Dunno if they're the Thread Police or the Fun Suckers.

FFS if I start writing things like this stick me in a padded cell and throw the key away.

My sincere apologies for not putting 'lighthearted' in the title(!) I suspect this is one of the 'cat person' v 'non-cat person' issues.

WyldCat also has a fondness of sitting on my shoulder like a parrot and purring directly down my ear canal which is very disconcerting. Alternatively, sleeping on DH's head like a rather overgrown, slightly stinky hat. He's an unreasonable wee bastard

These posts are annoying, think ' who will appreciate this shite' before pressing send, please.

No, I don't have to read them but I have done now and it's annoying.

I have cats, I don't resort to this.

Also, Autumnnights1, that's really rather rude and mildly offensive.

Oh, ffs, can people just piss off and bitchplop on some threads that deserve it please?

It's a lighthearted, non-offensive thread.

We get it Autumn, you don't like it. So stop reading and posting then!

I'm a bitch plopper < holds hands up>

Scobberlotcher, if I PM you my address, can I have one please?? I never get anything that nice through the post =D

Here's a pint of gin,drink up, head to the chips do your thing then go and think naice thoughts for the rest of the evening SanDiego

I'm not a cat person but OP's original post still made me smile. Some people are just grumpy.

Aww meanies.
Come on! With this title, surely this is the best case scenario post.

I wont apologise for not getting these threads, for some it may be light hearted, but for me, I just do not "get" them.

If I am a "bitch plopper" then so be it. I still do not understand the point of these threads.