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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fed up of hearing "oh my kids won't eat anything like that, I don't know how you do it"I

152 replies

Emillee1 · 24/09/2015 17:28

Basically i feed my kids a healthy diet (why wouldn't I?.....) and lately when I've had my neices round for lunch/dinner they've refused to eat what's on offer. When my SiL has turned up to collect them she told me that no wonder her kids wouldn't eat what i'd made as it wasn't typical "kiddy" food and that she's very surprised that I could "make" my children eat it.

Well to be fair her kids have existed on junk food since they were old enough to chew, and I can remember how on occasion my niece would be sat in her pram holding a burger dripping in fat, wrapped in a napkin happily chomping away and the tray in her pram was covered in chips!

Anyway this has happened a couple of times now and I'm getting rather annoyed with it. She asks me to mind her kids, which I'm happy to do but if they don't like what I've made for tea then it's tough, so why am I made to feel guilty? Without meaning to come across as one of THOSE mothers, my children's diet is very important to me. I was an overweight child and i'm still a stone or so overweight now as an adult and I put that down to the fact that as a child myself I was allowed to gorge myself on crap, my parents didn't know where the oven was and my meals were ready meals and convieinience foods, and I didn't want that for my kids. They get their "treats" an overall have a balance diet but I'm looked down on by my so called family for not serving up chicken nuggets and chips every night, so AIBU to feel a little pi**ed off?

OP posts:
Emillee1 · 24/09/2015 19:51

And can I just say something, in a weird kind of way I'm proud of myself that I'm managing to turn myself around and that I've educated myself enough to be confident in providing myself and my kids with a a balanced diet. It would have been so much "easier" to just do what my parents did with me, and offer up my kids a diet of ready meals, burgers, chips etc, I would have saved me time, money, energy etc but I don't what that for my kids, and it isn't a stealth boast, it's just me being honest.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 24/09/2015 19:53

What are you going to do about it?

Emillee1 · 24/09/2015 19:54

No, my 13 year old is allowed these kind of foods anyway so she doesn't have to hide them in her back pack, I already know that they're there as I give her dinner money every day which includes £1 for "treats" she isn't hiding anything from me, sorry!

OP posts:
Emillee1 · 24/09/2015 19:58

I'm going to have to speak to my SiL Sparklingbrook, as it can't continue.

OP posts:
rockabillyruby82 · 24/09/2015 20:00

I've just glanced over all the comments, some are ridiculous!
Are these the same people who commented on the thread about instant coffee? Fussy about coffee huh, but a child's nutrition? Give them nuggets for breakfast, lunch and dinner, that's fine.

And just stop with the body shaming!

Sparklingbrook · 24/09/2015 20:00

Yes Emillee. Tell her, and do it soon.

Groovee · 24/09/2015 20:04

My children aren't too fussy. Dd isn't keen on boiled potatoes and for years wouldn't eat anything is a sauce. She also doesn't touch crisps. Ds doesn't eat eggs (allergy) or fish and is allergic to nuts.

Most children have likes and dislikes like adults. Others tend to be fussier when younger but then their food likes increase as they get older. I have a freezer with extras incase a couple of friends come at short notice as I know they don't like pizza, pasta or mince.

lushaliciousbob · 24/09/2015 20:10

Some kids are fussy. I was a very fussy child and put my parents through hell growing up because I genuinely didn't like food much (love food now, including all 'healthy' food). Just because your kids eat what you class as healthy doesn't mean other kids will. It's what children are used to. This isn't about her kids not eating your food, this is just you having a go at how your sister feeds her children.

tobysmum77 · 24/09/2015 20:13

Yanbu at all. Fgs they are not 'guests' Hmm the op is doing the mum a favour there are increasingly weird people on here.

And as for the op's weight I'm the same height and that's overweight for my body.

I think the ones with issues are the ones who stress about children leaving food like they're going to starve (unless they are autistic or something)

Frecklesandspecs · 24/09/2015 20:20

I've had several of my dc's friends around for tea lately and whatever I give, they don't seem to eat it!! Not mega healthy stuff but cooked.
I don't go making another meal. I just give them toast or something!

WhatstheT · 24/09/2015 20:22

I read this while my 8 month old was munching on a jaffa cake...

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 24/09/2015 20:22

The thing is lots of children like eating familiar food. Even the relatively good eaters can be thrown by eg a spag bol that's different to how their own parent makes it. I've got two dcs who will happily eat most foods and one who is really quite fussy - haven't done anything much different with any of them.

I gave up cooking proper food for visiting children years ago. (Unless I know they are likely to eat it) I keep a stash of pizza, sausages, fish fingers and oven chips in the freezer for these occasions - always offer some veg of some sort too - I reckon this is fine in the context of my children's overall diet. I like visiting kids to feel relaxed and enjoy their food too. I can see why you don't want to be cooking 2 meals but as a compromise could you offer them a sandwich or a piece of toast or something?

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 24/09/2015 20:25

Oh I do love the sheer wankery these threads bring out!!
Well yes Tarquin had TWO chocolate buttons today but this was after a flaxseed muffin and twice baked mung bean, quinoa and snail souffle so I guess its not too bad.....

Neddyteddy · 24/09/2015 20:27

Yes I agree the kids aren't guests.

OP I think you are doing her kids a huge favour in many ways as you are modelling good food habits and also demonstrating that as an adult you have been able to reflect and reeducate yourself about nutrition and health. You should be proud of yourself. You've made a huge positive change

Neddyteddy · 24/09/2015 20:31

Can't see anyone talking about flaxseed muffins or mungbeans Sharon. Maybe the healthy posts have touched a nerve? Do your kids live off nuggets ...

Littleonesaid · 24/09/2015 20:35

YANBU.
Your dinners seem entirely appropriate for children. I served up cottage pie to a friend for dinner and she said "oh yummy, nursery food". I wasn't entirely sure that it was a compliment Confused

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 24/09/2015 20:39

Yeah course they do.....Grin

CultureSucksDownWords · 24/09/2015 20:39

Sorry to keep mentioning this but I'm genuinely confused... 5ft 10 and 11st 12 is a BMI of 23.8 which is under 25 and so in the not-overweight category. Losing 10 to 12 lbs would result in a BMI of about 22, still in the not-overweight category but more towards the middle. So thinner yes, but both in the same category and neither classed as overweight. Is there something I'm missing that makes a non-overweight BMI actually overweight?

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 24/09/2015 20:40

Because I have the sheer audacity to 'store' them in my freezer I must do....

ssd · 24/09/2015 20:43

OP, please can you post some of your slow cooker recipes here? I love using my slow cooker but I'm really running out of things to cook and your things sound yummy.

tobysmum77 · 24/09/2015 20:43

Culture speaking personally I am slight build, at nearly 12 stone I have a muffin top hanging over my jeans. The op may well be the same.

CrumbledFeta · 24/09/2015 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CultureSucksDownWords · 24/09/2015 20:47

Isn't that a question of distribution, rather than being actually overweight? Obviously within a BMI from 18 to 25 that's quite a range from thinner to less so, but anyone within that range isn't going to be objectively overweight.

tobysmum77 · 24/09/2015 20:49

Personally I put weight on evenly not just inn one place. Of course I don't look obviously overweight weighing that but for me personally it isn't slim either.

RabbitSaysWoof · 24/09/2015 20:51

YANBU
It's not about what she feeds it's about her attitude.
I always struggle to see homemade traditional style meals as boasting, I was a nursery nurse for years and to me this is what would be served in a normal toddler room with no alternatives, just slight variations for allergies. I think you have done a good job to avoid the ott low fat route considering your upbringing. As a child I had multiple tooth extractions which scared the hell out of me (I still wont go back to the dentist) my temptation is to never let my dc have sweets/ cake/ juice but I know I have to have treats in the house so they don't become an obsession later. My Mum would say I was ott, I would say I was normal my dc eats similar to yours.

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