To be fed up of hearing "oh my kids won't eat anything like that, I don't know how you do it"I

[Emillee1]

Basically i feed my kids a healthy diet (why wouldn't I?.....) and lately when I've had my neices round for lunch/dinner they've refused to eat what's on offer. When my SiL has turned up to collect them she told me that no wonder her kids wouldn't eat what i'd made as it wasn't typical "kiddy" food and that she's very surprised that I could "make" my children eat it.

Well to be fair her kids have existed on junk food since they were old enough to chew, and I can remember how on occasion my niece would be sat in her pram holding a burger dripping in fat, wrapped in a napkin happily chomping away and the tray in her pram was covered in chips!

Anyway this has happened a couple of times now and I'm getting rather annoyed with it. She asks me to mind her kids, which I'm happy to do but if they don't like what I've made for tea then it's tough, so why am I made to feel guilty? Without meaning to come across as one of THOSE mothers, my children's diet is very important to me. I was an overweight child and i'm still a stone or so overweight now as an adult and I put that down to the fact that as a child myself I was allowed to gorge myself on crap, my parents didn't know where the oven was and my meals were ready meals and convieinience foods, and I didn't want that for my kids. They get their "treats" an overall have a balance diet but I'm looked down on by my so called family for not serving up chicken nuggets and chips every night, so AIBU to feel a little pi**ed off?

The children are family. The op like having them. If it's a regular occurence (which it sounds like it is) it's not hard to make healthy versions of child friendly food for them, or have done ready I. The freezer for such occasions

• or have some ready in

So Emillee what are you going to say to SIL to sort it all out? Save you silently fuming for ever more?

Tbh your SIL is getting several free meals a week for her 2 children. It's a bit rich of her to complain about what they actually get offered!

I'm sorry, but I get up at 6/6.30am to prepare a beef stew/pulled pork/chicken casserole etc to put into my slow cooker so that it's ready when I get home from work/picking the kids up. Do you really think I want to rustle up another meal of home made nuggets/burgers after working all day?

I'm not going to comment on stealth boasting, 'kiddie' foods, or good vs bad diets. All I'm going to say is that I was taught, and my children were taught that if you are a guest (even at a relative's) you either ate what was put before you or said you weren't really hungry and tried to 'fake it' by pushing a small amount of food around on your plate and drank a big glass of milk. And I certainly didn't complain to a host parent that my children didn't like the meal. If your sister and/or her children don't like what you serve, she can pick them something up on the way home or fix them something different when she gets home.

The thing is I always batch cook so there's always leftovers especially enough to feed two neices so it wouldn't be a problem if they'd just bloody eat what I served up.

It's impolite to make your guests uncomfortable. I serve what my guests like to eat.

DC1 will eat almost anything. (aren't I clever)
DC2-3 eat a wide variety.
DC4 is feckwittery fussy about food. (oops, my bad)

Be grateful for the problems you don't have.

Without meaning to come across as one of THOSE mothers

You did that in the title of the OP.

I'm not looking down on anyone
I'm hardly an 18st wheezing old woman who can't walk without getting out of breath
what I was saying about my SiL is that her children's overall diets are pretty dire

Oh no, you're not looking down on anyone. Well, actually...

I find it interesting that you excuse your own "struggle with weight" by blaming your parents and learning to eat the wrong foods from them, but you don't seem to allow your SIL any excuses at all.

Op there have been approximately 950,000 food threads in the last month, people are getting fed up with them (yet like me, still posting) so I think you are getting the backlash from that.

You are not obliged to cook two different meals, nor do you have to buy foods you wouldn't like to give your own children for the DNs.

As you are regularly supplying free childcare for SIL perhaps you could just say to her that if she's not happy with the meals in your house she might wish to consider asking someone else to do this regular favour. Don't get into who provides better meals, you just have to agree to disagree on that one.

children will at some point come out with a choice word including "shit" so if you think you are somehow superior suburbanRhonda then think again!

My post wasn't to you, OP

In that case Emillee1 why don't you just say you are happy to have the children but this is what's for dinner and if they don't want that you will need to feed them when you get home?

I do that and I am a childminder cooking for 8 ??

i'm vegetarian and the kids aren't. Generally any attempt to feed them freshly made vegetarian food is met with 'Urgh I don't like it. What is it?' Before trying any of it obviously.

I just gave them some veg casserole I'd just made for myself and they ate it all and demanded more. I think someone has stolen my children and replaced them with clones.

Mine wouldn't either. Sausage chips and beans in this house tonight for ours. My hubby's friends wife is quite posh. She tried to give my 3 year old avocado and hummus and I've never seen a dirtier look on his face

Fuck me is cry if DD ate a nugget or a burger. At 2 she's still on Ella's Kitchen Stage 2 as she has sensory issues and can't swallow due to throat issue to top the sensory issues off.

You're doing your sister a favour having them at last minute. I agree, you shouldn't be preparing a second meal especially for them. I would carry on serving the kids as you do and if your sister passes comment, simply consider the bigger picture - which is that her family are hooked on awful convenience/fast foods. By passing comment, she's putting your food down in order to make herself feel better about her kids unhealthy processed food habit.

My sister is exactly the same. I was in her kitchen once, she was preparing tea for us (kids were having pizza & chips) - rice, chicken with peppers and olives. Her LO was hanging around wanting food, I suggested giving him an olive and a bit of pepper to munch on. Her answer was 'No, they won't eat that!'
Why not? She's never even tried giving them something different to pizza/chips/breaded chicken and it does bug me.
Similar to you (and NOT boasting) I give my DS a varied diet, he has exactly what we have. I've never made him separate meals. He doesn't like everything, he has treats and I'm not worried about what he has round another persons house. I know one day he'll be fussier, I'll deal with that when the time comes.

Another thing that annoys me is when you cook a nice meal for family/friends and their kids. The kids won't eat what you've cooked and the parents don't discourage it, it's rude! And later let them snack when they're hungry because they didn't eat the lovely dinner you made!

I'd love to come round and eat your meals, Emillee1. They sound delicious! So far as I'm concerned, guests that keep inviting themselves round should either eat what you've cooked or go hungry. Clearly you aren't a bad host, or they wouldn't keep inviting themselves over! I have little tolerance for fussy eating, though. If they came over very seldom, or only when you had actually invited them, then you should make an effort to cater for their tastes, but if they are inviting themselves for their mother's convenience, then their mother should put up and shut up when it comes to your food choices, particularly given the fact that your food choices are perfectly mainstream and healthy.

When she asks you to have them, text back 'yes. I've made supper already and there's enough for them'

Actually AbbeyBartlett, if you won't eat chicken kebabs, stir fry, salmon, rice, peas, sweet corn, pulled pork, wholemeal buns, tuna, chilli con carne, spaghetti bolognese or shepherds pie - I'd say that puts you in the "very picky eater" category.

OP, you're getting a hard time. You didn't ask for a million suggestions about how you should prepare alternative dinners. You asked if it was reasonable to be peeved that a family member is judging you, when you don't make similar comments to her. Of course you aren't BU. I'd find that irritating too.

Emille your 13 yo is doing 'great' because she is slim even though her bag is stuffed with wrappers from eating treats at school? When she gets to choose her own food away from you she is choosing junk how is that so different to your nieces (prob what mine would do tbf ;) )

I have no idea why you are getting such a hard time on here OP. I don't think you are saying anything particularly wrong IMO.

You sister asks you to pick her kids up or they have just come round, these aren't kids invited round for dinner but ones put upon you for food last minute. I would also be of the 'this is what we are having, you can have some if you want or you can go home to eat?' No way would I cook a different meal than the one I was planning on having to suit other people.

But then my DS either eats what I'm dishing up or he can go hungry and I would expect that to happen in other peoples houses and would be very shocked if someone cooked a separate meal just for him!!

Tell your sister she can feed her own kids in future as I think she has been very rude!

Cripes you guys are harsh. I can see why the Op might be a bit peed off. I think perhaps if I knew the other kids were coming I might dish up fishfingers and oven chips as a compromise. I can still a little boy's sad face sat at my table over ten years ago when he was unexpectedly with us for tea and I had given him stew ans dumplings which he had never seen before. He was a junk food kid.

Thanks Japanese x