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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fed up of hearing "oh my kids won't eat anything like that, I don't know how you do it"I

152 replies

Emillee1 · 24/09/2015 17:28

Basically i feed my kids a healthy diet (why wouldn't I?.....) and lately when I've had my neices round for lunch/dinner they've refused to eat what's on offer. When my SiL has turned up to collect them she told me that no wonder her kids wouldn't eat what i'd made as it wasn't typical "kiddy" food and that she's very surprised that I could "make" my children eat it.

Well to be fair her kids have existed on junk food since they were old enough to chew, and I can remember how on occasion my niece would be sat in her pram holding a burger dripping in fat, wrapped in a napkin happily chomping away and the tray in her pram was covered in chips!

Anyway this has happened a couple of times now and I'm getting rather annoyed with it. She asks me to mind her kids, which I'm happy to do but if they don't like what I've made for tea then it's tough, so why am I made to feel guilty? Without meaning to come across as one of THOSE mothers, my children's diet is very important to me. I was an overweight child and i'm still a stone or so overweight now as an adult and I put that down to the fact that as a child myself I was allowed to gorge myself on crap, my parents didn't know where the oven was and my meals were ready meals and convieinience foods, and I didn't want that for my kids. They get their "treats" an overall have a balance diet but I'm looked down on by my so called family for not serving up chicken nuggets and chips every night, so AIBU to feel a little pi**ed off?

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 24/09/2015 18:41

Have them round when it's not mealtimes then.

CultureSucksDownWords · 24/09/2015 18:42

Your doctor is giving you some unusual advice as your BMI is well within the heathy weight range. Losing 10 to 12 lbs wouldn't seem necessary, so it seems like strange advice.

laffymeal · 24/09/2015 18:43

Why is everyone being so horrible to the OP?

I kind of understand what you're saying OP. Years ago DS had a friend round every Tuesday for tea because her DPs worked late. They are lovely, lovely people and enjoy their food but only ever fed their DD stuff like sausage rolls, chicken nuggets etc. When she came round to us I had to make a "shit tea" (DCs words not mine) because she just wouldn't eat anything we liked which was home cooked and had lots of herbs/spices and flavour.

Even now aged 14 she survives on fish fingers and beans which there is nothing wrong with but just not every night.

Original poster

Emillee1 · 24/09/2015 18:43

I do, they're always round. But my SiL has gotten into the habit of asking me to pick them up from school (she only gets home from work at 6.30pm) and letting them come round of a weekend when she knows I'm just about to serve up dinner or tea. They only live 4 streets away so it's hardly far, three only 7 and 8 but she lets them walk up to mine on their own and I can hardly say no can I.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 24/09/2015 18:45

Oh for goodness sake if you love having them, then you won't mind taking literally 2 minutes to whack some nuggets and chips in the oven, surely?

Otherwise tell your SIL to send them with something to eat.

KevinAndMe · 24/09/2015 18:46

Well I agree with the OP.

She has her own reasons to want her dcs to have a healthy diet. That's OK.
She isn't agreeing with her SIL and I can see why.

She is helping her SIL out not invitting them for dinner.

And her SIL isn't immune to making sarcastic comments about her unreasonable she is to even expect children to eat some healthy foods. I'm not surprised the OP got annoyed.

Youarentkiddingme · 24/09/2015 18:46

I think the real issue for you is having had childhood food issues someone is criticising you when you believe what your doing is right and trying to do for your children what your oarents didn't do for you?

Maybe your reply needs to be "if your children don't like my food maybe you should get a CM or take them home for dinner". Don't get embroiled in the who feeds the child the best argument - no one ever wins that one

NotMeUsNotIWe · 24/09/2015 18:47

Well op I love my nieces and nephews but I have to take a mental step back when it comes to things like their diet (or really most aspects of how they are parented). Your SILs attitude might be irritating but you know you're doing your best by your children so whatever she does with hers isn't your concern and expending mental energy on it won't make you feel better.

Have the DNs over, give them something reasonably healthy that you know they'll eat and if you have enough, offer a taste of other things. Otherwise don't sweat it.

Likeaninjanow · 24/09/2015 18:47

I think you're very lucky. I raised my children on a wide range of home cooked food. Neither have ever had a jar. As they've developed little personalities of their own, they've limited what they eat. Nothing I do makes any difference. One of them is allergic to a LONG list of foods, which doesn't help... If only I'd been lucky enough to get good eaters with no allergies - I love cooking gorgeous food!

KevinAndMe · 24/09/2015 18:48

Sorry worra but if I have unplanned and unvitted guests, I expect them to eat whatever I had planned for that meal.

You wouldn't find any chicken nuggets in my house or whatever 'children foods'. That is the case now and before when they were the age of the OP's nieces.

nokidshere · 24/09/2015 18:52

I don't see the issue with staying healthy and child friendly food really. I can knock up chicken nuggets, or oven chips, or meatballs and home made wraps in under half an hour - all made from scratch and all healthy. Surely that would be a good compromise? Food that they recognise but that is made to your standards?

fuzzpig · 24/09/2015 18:52

Meh. Another judgy food thread.

NotMeUsNotIWe · 24/09/2015 18:55

kevin same here, we're pescetarian so no sausage rolls or chicken nuggets in the freezer. I actually don't see why the op should be expected to cook two different meals and surely you then run the risk of your won DC complaining that they want chips too!

Op eventually the DNs might decide to try something new. I know I'm such a bitch but the satisfaction of my DNs begging me to make my fish pie or veggie sausage casserole when I'd had to listen to "oh no they wouldn't eat that" from their parents regarding pretty much all our usual evening meals

WorraLiberty · 24/09/2015 18:55

Kevin, I was talking to the OP.

I have no idea what food can be found in your house.

However, the OP knows exactly what the kids are like and she claims to like having them.

So it makes sense to keep a few nuggets and chips in the freezer.

Sparklingbrook · 24/09/2015 18:55

I can hardly say no can I.

Er, yes you can.

Or just talk to your SIL, tell her not to send them round at mealtimes, and to text first so you can say yes or no.

I think communication is key to all this.

nokidshere · 24/09/2015 18:58

Likeaninjanow mine were the same - good home cooked food from day 1, they both ate everything I cooked - until the oldest was 9 when he ate less and less of the foods he previously loved.

Now they are 14 and 17 - one is a foodie who loves everything about food, including shopping and prepping, the oldest eats a very narrow diet (although thankfully relatively healthy) and has no interest in it at all other than eating when he is hungry.

shutupanddance · 24/09/2015 18:58

I think you are getting a hard time here. I don't think yabu.

KevinAndMe · 24/09/2015 18:58

Actually you have a point. If the OP was vegetarian, her SIL wouldn't probably dare telling her feed her children more appropriate measl 'because they don't vegetarian foods'.

So why is it OK to speak to the OP like this or expect her to change what she had planned to cook because she has decided to go for a different type of diet?

Another thing for us would be that we meny plan which means we only buy what we will need for these meals. Wew would genuinely struggle to find replacement meal at the drop of the hat.
If the SIL is so unhappy about what her dcs are eating, then I would suggest she feeds them at home.

Lovelydiscusfish · 24/09/2015 18:59

I think you should just give then stuff they'd like, but that isn't too unhealthy, as PP's have suggested. It's not great to serve guests, even young ones, stuff you know they won't eat.
I noticed you described yourself as "not a heifer". Do you think of some larger women as "heifers", then? That's a bit upsetting.
Sorry your childhood diet wasn't great and that you still don't feel great about that.

SuburbanRhonda · 24/09/2015 19:01

When she came round to us I had to make a "shit tea" (DCs words not mine)

You may have won the prize for who feeds their child the best, laffymeal, but you lost some serious ground with your potty-mouthed DCs

Weathergames · 24/09/2015 19:02

you put your current weight down to your parents? are they still feeding you? hmm

laffymeal · 24/09/2015 19:03

What can I say Rhonda, we say what we see lol . And I don't really care what you think btw.

KevinAndMe · 24/09/2015 19:03

But worra that's the whole point.

It's not just about 'oh i'll pop sonme chicken nuggets in the oven for the DN'.
It's the fact her dcs are likely to want to eat the same.
It's the fact that it's going against what she believes is right. Would you ask a vegetarian to cook meat just because you happen to like meat? I'm telling you a lot of them would refuse flat out esp as some wouldn't even entertain the idea of having meat in the house, let alone cooking it
It's the fact it's not just a one off but a regular occurence which will then have some impact on her dcs.
It's the fact that then her whole family diet is dictated by her SIL.

How can that be right?

Finallyonboard · 24/09/2015 19:03

Ah! This has really made me laugh! You're hilarious.

Original poster

Emillee1 · 24/09/2015 19:05

I'm sorry but ALL children will at some point come out with a choice word including "shit" so if you think you are somehow superior suburbanRhonda then think again!

OP posts:

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