To just want to leave the f***ing house!? (faffing related)

[InTheBox]

Does anyone have family or a partner that does this sort of thing.

We're about to leave the house but no, we can't yet as a cushion needs to be plumped, the thermostat needs to be checked, perhaps even an 'interesting' ad on TV needs to be watched. Or something needs to be looked for or rearranged. Maybe even a cup of tea whilst all this is happening and then might as well check e-mails. I despair with this sort of faffing. Can we just leave!

I'm not military about leaving times unless we have to be somewhere but otherwise if we are about to leave the house then lets fucking leave! Rant over.

my mother is like that.
tbh I just leave, she can make her own way to wherever we planned to go.

This is my DH when we're on our way out. He goes upstairs to get shoes and jacket, brings them down to put them on in the dining room why, then goes back upstairs for a wee and to get something he's inevitably left in the study, then he's back downstairs to collect everything he needs from the kitchen, then into the living room to check the TVs off, then back into the kitchen for a glass of water, then back upstairs for 'a last piddle', then checking he's got keys, then OUT.

I just sit in the chair in the dining room playing with my phone whilst all of this is going on. I can't even bear to look.

It's the fact that whilst the faffer gets to cherry pick bits and bobs to attend to, I'm stuck with the shoe battle, drink and snack arranging, nappy bag checking and actually useful stuff that needs doing! Checking a Hoover filter can fucking wait!!

Arsing about, it's called in this house (by me!) and DP drives me demented with it. I can have myself and two children ready to walk out the door, while he basically navel gazes.

I'd be tempted to start a countdown "Is there a cushion in need of plumping or a cup of tea which must be drunk, because I'd like to leave in 30 minutes?" Repeat at 20 and 10 minutes.

My DH is a dreadful faffer. I like to just get sorted and get out the door, he then spends ages messing about looking for wallet, the right shoes, cleaning the windscreen, it drives me bonkers. Why can't they just do all this crap ten mins before we go?

Yep, exactly this, but to compound it he always tries to make out he was waiting for me.

The thing is I'll have started to do something, like redesign the front garden, find a cure for the common cold etc etc because I got bored of standing in the hall waiting for him....

At the moment it's usually our 6w old DD that causes faffing. Timely poonami or need to feed NOW! Best yet is hear poo arrive as trying to leave, place on mat, start changing, get caught by second wave flooding mat and spraying changer, upstairs for quick bath, shower for changer and complete change of clothes - then of course feeding is essential. 30 minutes later we left. Hate going to appointments now - have to leave an hour's contingency!

Every man in my extended family except my VERY D B. My DF, DH and DFIL are incapable of leaving a house. And, DFIL does it to piss people off. He has a personality disorder so that's just him, but my DF and DH? Grr.

YANBU

I live with a DH faffer and a 5 yr old DS faffer....it's clearly hereditary.

I get everything ready, shoes, coats etc while they faff and faff and eventually I usually end up walking out, saying I'm going to the car.

My DH does this. What really winds me up is he will sit on the sofa asking me if I'm ready and telling me we need to leave soon (when I ameunning perfectly on time) and then once I am ready and standing by the door he will start looking for his phone, rolling a cigarette, changing the cat's water etc.

A commonly heard phrase in our household is "perhaps if you spent less time worrying about what I'm doing and more time getting yourself sorted then we wouldn't be running late now."

My DH always have a last minute urge to mow the lawn when the taxi is parked outside our house waiting to take us to the airport.

Oh DH is terrible. We leave the house, all together, at the same time every day. DH catches the same train every day, the children walk to school at the same time every day. I run him to the train, drop the kids on the edge of town and then carry on to do what I have to do. It's quite simple really!

But despite this, every day he asks me what time are we leaving today, and I usually have the children in the car and am poised with the key to lock the door whilst we are still waiting for something (shoes, wallet, phone, cup of tea.....) for DH! Grrr indeed.

My Dp is the same,so much so now we clap when he gets in the car.If he has a day off when kids are in school its nearly time to collect them again when its time to leave.

And like its stupid things like cleaning windows or mowing the lawn.All time consuming things.Does my head in.Does it only affect males do you think.

DH is fine - it's the (teenage) DCs who are the problem. DS2 needs a good 10 minutes of hounding and just as you think you're sorted he'll need a wee or to find his headphones - you just have to factor that into your departure time. It's bloody irritating though.

A good friend of mine is like this. You ask him if he's ready and he says yes. So I get up and put my coat on, then stand there like a lemon as it turns out that his version of 'ready' actually means he just needs to change his top, do his hair, put on shoes, go to the loo, brush his teeth, close the windows, find his coat, turn off the laptop....... etc etc etc. I now leave without him!

Yes- my PIL! The level of noise and flapping and fuss that are involved in even the most minor trip are mindblowing. I have to go outside and walk up and down the road to avoid it, because I find it so upsetting and awful!

Do you all live with my DP?!

I have a DH and teenager like this. I don't even think about going anywhere with them until they are actually half way out the door. I have also gone without them a few times. It is all about control and their need not to be hanging around for me being greater than my need not to be hanging around for them. I don't have control issues but I am bloody minded

Another one here - DH.

I am convinced it's a control thing - ie we can only leave when he says so.

Even now with a baby, I am always standing at the front door waiting for him whenever we go anywhere

DH used to be the one sitting in the car with the engine running as I was busy herding cats getting the DCs ready with coats, shoes, etc. I got so used to getting myself ready in an instant that now we are empty nesters I'm ready, standing by the door, and, yes, he's faffing looking for his phone, wallet, shoes, etc. Then I spoil the superior attitude by having forgotten my phone.

My dh is like this. He can never find the fucking car keys, despite me having created a specific place to store them. Always has to finish an email/go for a wee/put the recycling out. Really irritating!

Dh on his way out to work -
Have you seen my phone? No? I'll bring it from the land line.
Have you seen my keys? If they're not on the key rack by the back door then no, I have not.
Have you seen my wallet? No. It's probably in your coat pocket or you've left it in the car. Again.
Have you seen my coat? It's probably in the car. It isn't? Well if its not hanging up on the coat rack then I have no idea.
Almost leaves, comes back. Nips to loo, fiddles with shoes.
Now, where did I put my phone?
I have been known to scream at this point. He will then flap as he's now running late.
He also does the "Well I was waiting for you." thing, except he's not actually ready, he still needs to do all of the above before we leave.

beau are we married to the same man?