To just want to leave the f***ing house!? (faffing related)

[InTheBox]

Does anyone have family or a partner that does this sort of thing.

We're about to leave the house but no, we can't yet as a cushion needs to be plumped, the thermostat needs to be checked, perhaps even an 'interesting' ad on TV needs to be watched. Or something needs to be looked for or rearranged. Maybe even a cup of tea whilst all this is happening and then might as well check e-mails. I despair with this sort of faffing. Can we just leave!

I'm not military about leaving times unless we have to be somewhere but otherwise if we are about to leave the house then lets fucking leave! Rant over.

SeamstressfromTreacleMineRoad

Being too early is just as rude as being late/faffing about.

If I tell someone to be at mine for 1pm, then I'm happy with 15 mins either way, but any earlier than that irritates the hell out of me, as I could have slotted something else in the schedule, or even, might not be there.

My Dad would have been given faffer of the year award of he was still alive.
We'd all be ready to go out and then the ritual would start. First of all check all windows were closed and locked even though this had been done half an hour ago.
Next he'd put on a jacket or coat come downstairs look in the mirror do a harumph then back upstairs for a raincoat in case it rains even though no rain was forecast but you never know do you. We live in a difficult part of the country to forecast.
Next all out the door and yep you guessed it no car keys. Back inside for the keys which turned up in his pocket but he hadn't looked
Next all in the car, seat belts done up, rear mirror adjusted, wing mirrors adjusted, height of seat adjusted, windscreen wiped over with a hanky (gross), keys in ignition, oh forgot to check tyres, get out give all tyres a once over and a kick. While out of car shout to whoever was in passenger seat to pop the bonnet and then proceeds to check the bloody oil.
Next can't find driving glasses,searches everywhere then exclaims oh yes they're on my head, this fact I'd been trying to tell him for 5 minutes.
Mum couldn't stand anymore so gets out and says she isn't going after all because he is doing her head in.
Cue big argument, eventually we got going only for Dad to realise we just needed a little more fuel just in case.
Long queue at petrol station, more moaning, Dad fills up but the car only needed a couple of litres, goes in to pay comes out moaning about the price but then .....Hooray we started out on our journey which was 12 miles to the out of town shopping centre.
All this happened nearly every time we ventured out.

We get "think I need a shit" as we're walking out of the door!

Some remedial potty training seems in order, Beverly, assuming the offender is a grown up ?

OMG my 12 year old daughter is the Queen of faffing! If there was an Olympic event for faffing, she would get gold every time! She faffs all the time....mornings before school are the worst.
She gets up. Goes to bathroom.....starts to clean teeth...stops midway to go and get phone to play music on whilst cleaning teeth. Brushes hair. Comes downstairs to get some random item. Back upstairs to finish hair. Puts on shirt and skirt. Comes downstairs for another random item,or to faff a bit more. Back upstairs to fetch socks. back downstairs to put them on. Back upstairs to get shoes and tie. Back down for breakfast.......you get my drift!
It is incredibly annoying and frustrating, not least because I work from home as a childminder and she thinks that, although I have a million kids to look after, I can help her look for a hair bobble she desperately wants that day,or the tie she took off last night......
There must be a helpline I can ring!!!

Could it be some form of mission creep?? The car faffing mentioned by sugar sounds like his mind sort of enters a new state of 'maintenance ' rather than 'leaving' which they were meant to be doing.

I also think it's about power, so, whoever it is most important to (the event) is mentally put in charge of rounding up family. A way of being lazy knowing the 'outing boss' has to help you find your shoes if they want to go.

Beverley snap. Best to wait until the procedure has been completed otherwise arrival a destination will be accompanied by frantic looking for a toilet, hopping and strange facial expressions.

HazleNutt, you have described my husband perfectly! I have to check list him before leaving the house. I am too old and tired to babysit for my 48 yr old husband.

Emotionsecho or a trip to McDonalds on route for a McShit with fries!

Agree 100% with the McShit!!

Indeed Beverley, God bless McDonalds.

Or maybe only McFaffer goes to McD for his McShit whilst the rest of the party does what they came for.

I don't think it's always a control thing - take this morning, I had an early exercise class, DH was home with kids and leaves for work when I get home. What should happen is - baby dressed, toddler dressed, toddler's stuff for childminder ready, DH himself dressed and ready to walk out the door the minute I get there.

What really happened - everybody still in PJs, Dh only just dressing the kids and starting to prepare things. (He still did all the work, so not the case of being lazy and waiting for me to do it). But - instead of doing all the morning prep, he had decided to spend time sorting out a few baskets of clean laundry. Why?
Oh well, as I've read here, could be worse - at least he didn't start painting the walls..

DH is going for a run but has now been fucking around for an hour. Waiting for him to go and come back so we can have breakfast. There is a very hungry pregnant woman here who is going to explode if he doesn't just go for his fucking run in the next 2 minutes.

I just wait in the car and MN

I'm a faffer.

I cannot bear faffing so as an ex teacher i simply revert to skills used to manage 30 over exciteable 5year olds: everything that needs to happen is 'announced' well ahead of time. That way faffing (& when i was teaching, 5 year old hysteria re any upcoming situation/event) starts earlier, but is mostly finished by deadline/leaving time. I also put the house clocks 10mins fast and lie about what time we need to be at the party/dinner/lunch. Now I am a PA, i find these strategies also work for middle management faffers.

I have recently become a faffer. I don't know what's happened to me but I've gone from being Mrs Organised always on time to Mrs I'll Just Put The Washing Out Even Though I Should Have Left 10 Minutes Ago. I'm aware that I'm doing it, but don't seem to be able to stop myself .

Just reading this thread has given me the rage.

DH is a Faffer of the First Order. I agree with those who have said it's a control thing.

When I think we are finally ready to leave (after me being stood up, coat on bag and keys in hand for 10 minutes), he starts to roll some fags, have a quick brew, of which he takes a could of mouth fulls and pours away or has me holding it!

I now dish up our meal and he will leave it going cold on the table whilst he washes a few pots, arranges things on the work tops, re stacks his mail. It pisse me off, I am sat eating my food and finish way before him, he eats slow as fuck as well.

I'm probably a bit of a faffer in that when DH is finally ready I do plump cushions and whizz round tidying - I like to come home to a tidy house!

But DH does that thing where as I am getting ready he will hover around me, whine I'm taking too long to do my hair/makeup, then when I am ready he will say oh I need to change my shirt/brush my teeth/start looking for his shoes!

Perhaps we are both as bad as each other...