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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours complained about my dog. AIBU in how this has made me feel?

142 replies

Tazzyduffy · 24/09/2015 12:26

I have just received an anonymous typed letter in the post addressed to the 'occupier'.

Essentially the letter was complaining that my dog was tied outside barking between 14.00-16.00 on Saturday and stopped a baby getting to sleep.

I fully appreciate that this would be extremely annoying for the parents, however I am very upset that their approach is to send an anonymous letter. I don't understand why they couldn't call to the door to speak to us or put their name and telephone number on it. There is no doubt who it is, as there is only one house with a baby in the area.

I am an absolute dog lover and my dog is well treated, walked 3 times a day, very much part of the family and rarely left alone for more than a couple of hours. I am not only distressed at their approach, but also the insinuation that I am a neglectful pet owner.

This has taken a lot out of me and I would really appreciate others thoughts/ views. Would you ignore the letter or approach them?

OP posts:
diddl · 24/09/2015 14:13

Really OP you should be grateful that they have informed you that your dog was distressed for two hours so that you won't be putting it through that again.

Why would someone tie a dog up?

I don't get that at all tbh.

dodobookends · 24/09/2015 14:14

I wouldn't underestimate the carrying quality of a barking dog either. There was trouble with one round here a while ago; we could hear it clearly and it was four streets away. You have no way of knowing which neighbour sent the letter, so there is no point in getting hung up about it.

pebbletime · 24/09/2015 14:14

FWIW - I apologised for my dog barking for 3 mins.
The dog is loud and even 3 mins is enough to get on your nerves.

(I also told my neighbour that I would call the Police if he made me feel physically frightened again)

OP, you shouldn't leave a dog tied to bark for 2 hours.
You are in the wrong here.
They've written as they are scared they will get a bad response if they try to speak to you.

hedgehogsdontbite · 24/09/2015 14:44

YABU

I suspect this is a straw that broke the camel's back letter ie it's not the first time it's happened.

I also think it's neglectful to leave a dog tethered in the garden for hours while you're out.

AloraRyger · 24/09/2015 14:53

YABU.

I also think it probably wasn't the first time it has happened.

I think you're lucky it was an anonymous note through your door rather than an environmental health officer banging on it - when my neighbours dog barking was an issue for us I went straight to them - I wasn't up for confronting him myself because I think I would have lost the plot. It drove me demented.

Jux · 24/09/2015 15:49

Oh please please don't over-react. You don't need to keep the dog in the house forevermore.

Just go round to the baby-house with a bunch of flowers. As soon as the door opens thrust flowers forward while saying "I'm so sorry my dog's barking disturbed your baby. I know how annoying barking can be. I'm so glad someone told me, or I'd never have known my dog did this."

sproketmx · 24/09/2015 16:39

I would ignore it. Don't let it get to you. People have complained about my dogs, my cats, my kids, the noise my truck needs when it's belts need done, kids motorbikes, kids quads etc but I don't bat an eyelid unless it's proper serious. Some folk will complain over fuck all

MagickPants · 24/09/2015 16:46

Maybe the letter was from the next door neighbour who doesn't like being left to listen out for the dog, or the dog pissing on her grass, but feels that you will respond disproportionately if she expresses any of this. (maybe the people with the baby moaned at her as you were out and that is why she knows about the baby being kept awake)

Which obviously you will.

It doesn't matter who it was from, it was someone who is finding your dog annoying and IT BLOWS MY MIND so many pet owners struggle to understand that their animals can be a nuisance to other people and get so het up as if they are under unprovoked attack. Why the emotion? Why the drama? Your dog is noisy, it annoys people. Deal with it.

SilverOldie2 · 24/09/2015 16:49

sproketmx
I would ignore it. Don't let it get to you. People have complained about my dogs, my cats, my kids, the noise my truck needs when it's belts need done, kids motorbikes, kids quads etc but I don't bat an eyelid unless it's proper serious. Some folk will complain over fuck all

But it's not fuck all is it, a baby was unable to sleep because a dog (still don't understand why it was tied up) barked for two hours.

PS I am so pleased you're not my neighbour as you seemingly have zero respect for anyone else.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 24/09/2015 17:02

As a dog owner and dog lover Id be firstly worried that my dog had been distressed enough to bark for two hours. Secondly Id be worried Id upset my neighbours.

They've done you a favour telling you that your dog was upset enough at been shut outside that it was barking.

TenForward82 · 24/09/2015 17:23

sproketmx
I would ignore it. Don't let it get to you. People have complained about my dogs, my cats, my kids, the noise my truck needs when it's belts need done, kids motorbikes, kids quads etc but I don't bat an eyelid unless it's proper serious. Some folk will complain over fuck all

You sound like a nightmare to live near. (Except the cats thing, why are people complaining about your cats? Confused)

WeAllHaveWings · 24/09/2015 17:33

What I do think is that a conversation is much more appropriate.

They obviously feel anxious or nervous about complaining to your face, not uncommon or unusual.

In an ideal world the most appropriate thing would have been for you to have not put your neighbours in the position where they had to complain.

If you are not a hypocrite the bigger person go over and apologise, otherwise let it go and keep the dog quiet outdoors.

BMW6 · 24/09/2015 17:34

Op - the method they chose to use to complain to you is irrelevant (unless they scratched it on your car bonnet....)

YOU are being unreasonable by leaving your dog tied up (you won't say why it is tied up BTW despite many posters asking) outside for 2 hours (and more I suspect).

Somewhere in my neighbourhood some bastard goes to work every day and I can hear their dog whining piteously all day. It is out in all weathers and it is the most heartbreaking sound. A barking dog would be really annoying and drive you mad.

YOU ARE BEING UNREASONABLE

Waltermittythesequel · 24/09/2015 17:49

You're just downright cruel to tie that poor dog up and then fuck off for two hours. I hope someone reports you for it.

SteamPunkGoth · 24/09/2015 17:56

Well you're determined to defend yourself.

I'd shout if I was left tied up outside for 2 hours!

Bulbasaur · 24/09/2015 18:01

Eh, we've gotten anonymous letters before about our car alarm threatening to have us towed. Problem was, kids were setting it (and other cars) off. We ended up having to take the horn sound chip out.

Point is, if they wrote a note, they're probably not confrontational, so I wouldn't worry about it. If anything, they'll call the authorities and you can sort it out with them.

AimlesslyPurposeful · 24/09/2015 18:45

Sproketmx - "I would ignore it. Don't let it get to you. People have complained about my dogs, my cats, my kids, the noise my truck needs when it's belts need done, kids motorbikes, kids quads etc but I don't bat an eyelid unless it's proper serious. Some folk will complain over fuck all."

"Fuck all"?

The noise from trucks, quads and motorbikes isn't fuck all when it's outside your house and you can't hear yourself think. People have complained to you about it but you don't bat an eyelid. Why don't you care that you're making a nuisance of yourself and bothering those around you? Do you really think your love of trucks, quads and bikes trumps your neighbours right to peace and quiet in their homes?

Very selfish attitude.

sproketmx · 24/09/2015 19:45

Coz the same auld craw that complains about me complains about everyone else as well. Not just my kids and their bikes everyone else's too, not just my truck, other folks trucks and vans too, not just my dog either and her most recent one is all the kids chalked one the street. Fuck off eh, this is scotland gie it ten mins and the rain will wash it away. Way she used to moan n bitch id go out my way to annoy her, tines blarin during the day and kids partying outside. I also Figure that if it was a real issue then more than just one person would have complained to op rather than just one person who claims their kid was kept up. I usually find folk who say this are talking shit coz all of mine slept through parties, fights in the street, sirens from the house along the road being on fire and quads and bikes in the field behind us. Bit no. Generally I don't give a fuck about whinges

EddieStobbart · 24/09/2015 19:52

My DM writes anonymous notes to the local paper, she claims to have got all sorts done because of them.

This sounds like the kind of thing she would do and not sign in case it made everyone uncomfortable. It sounds to me like your neighbours may have had a relative visiting and had a "does that dog bark like that much?" type conversion. Your neighbours may not even know about the note if it as written by this hypothetical visitor after they returned home.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 24/09/2015 20:00

Not a great trait Eddie. Sounds pretty mean tbh, not someone I'd be pleased to call a friend.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 24/09/2015 20:01

...or a relative...

Bulbasaur · 24/09/2015 20:04

sproketmx We had a neighbor too that complained about petty things whenever she got the chance. We all just ignored her. If it was a real problem she'd call the HOA or whatever authority needed to be called to resolve it.

My flow chart is this:
Is it during daytime hours?
If yes, ignore.
If not, I make sure my noise level is quiet like everyone else on our block does out of mutual respect.

TenForward82 · 24/09/2015 20:05

Do I take it "craw" translates to as "one person"?

EddieStobbart · 24/09/2015 20:07

Well, like most of us I don't choose my relatives. She does, however, think she got a footbridge built in her local village for the benefit of young children trying to walk home from school off the back of one of her anonymous letters. Who needs a Change.org petition when my DM's got her pen out Hmm

DoJo · 24/09/2015 20:19

OP - out of interest, what would you have done if they had signed the note?

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