Fancy dress out of the house

[PegsPigs]

DH and I would like MN to rule on this.

DD2.5 loves wearing 'princess dresses'. We have a few we've accumulated at home that she dresses up in most of the time we're at home. She loves going to toddler groups where she can dress up and is disappointed if we go somewhere that doesn't have a box. Our rule is that she can wear it in the house but has to take it off when we go out. There's been a few arguments in the past but she knows the rule and takes it off before we leave. The main reasons we don't let her wear it out are: it'll get damaged and they're not cheap, it'll get dirty and they're a bugger to clean, they're bloody flammable (Claudia Winkleman's daughter's accident for example) & she has lots of nice dresses which aren't fancy dress which she can wear.

However, we often go to places and there are other girls in fancy dress: Elsa, fairy outfits, Snow White outfits etc. She thinks the dress is for sharing and hangs around waiting for it to be her turn to wear it. I have to explain to her it's the other girl's outfit and not for sharing. She is obsessed though and just stares at the girl/s no matter how much I try and distract her.

We went to an event on Sunday where two sisters were dressed as princesses (no particular reason just presumably they wanted to). I asked my DD what her favourite part of the event was (lots of activities). She said 'the princesses'. We went to a drop in dance class on Monday where a girl dressed as a fairy and DD didn't watch the teacher or join in much as she was staring at the girl. I asked if she enjoyed the dancing and she said 'the little girl was a fairy princess in her own outfit' (how I'd explained why she couldn't wear it). I told DH the story and we agreed other parents letting their children wear these costumes out of the house makes it difficult for us to not let ours. Double standards etc when she finally understands that.

So my AIBU is: AIBU to wish other parents didn't let their children wear fancy dress costumes outside of the house (except for fancy dress parties)? Pretty sure I'll hear 'other parents can do what they like' or 'let her wear it out, big deal if it gets trashed she'll learn' so am prepared for a flaming. Just wondered if it peed other people off too?

My two girls are 22 and 18 now and I wish I had let them wear their fancy dress outfits more often....I was worried that they would be ripped/dirty or wonder what people would think. I can see with hindsight (what a wonderful thing!) that it wouldn't have mattered if the outfits looked worn or became shabby, they grew out of them pretty quickly and it certainly should not have mattered what other people thought. It really does pay to save your battles for the big things.
My youngest has just moved out to go to Uni and the way she goes out dressed....in huge old 'grandad' cardigans, black tights and Converse ALL THE TIME I almost wish she would put on an Elsa dress just for a change.

OMG Hey I'm dying of cute! Those coats are adorable

I'd go to work dressed as Elsa if the option presented itself.

direct.asda.com/george/women/fancy-dress/disney-frozen-elsa-adult-fancy-dress-costume/G004989376,default,pd.html

Just sayin'

Oh my god! Amazing! Is it too much for the office though?

nah....if anyone says anything, you know what to say...

Tutu's are washable, cheap and not long and so not a trip over danger, add tiara and wand, voila, fairy or princess....seen lots of 2yr olds on Tube and staggering round Tesco like that. I find it adorable.

God I would love to do dress up to office for charity instead of 'dress down'..... my Mother made me an Alice in Wonderland costume which was sooooo cute...

We had regular fancy dress days at my work... I've gone to work in a Shakespeare-styley gown, Red Riding Hood outfit, giant homemade cow costume, been a Christmas tree fairy and worn my pyjamas and bunny slippers too! It helps that I work with small children and have zero sense of shame these days...

I love seeing kids out and about in fancy dress. I always gasp and say, "It's Queen Elsa!" or "Hooray, Spiderman!"

Yabu, my 2.5 year old went to a little soft play dressed as spiderman yesterday. I dont see the issue. He is a little boy and he loves spiderman if he wants to dress up whilst he's little then he can, my five year old went out yesterday after school dressed as a nurse to see her gran who has cancer to 'look' after her.

They easily wash, they aren't flammable if you get non flammable. Your daughter probably wouldn't be as obsessed if you just let her dress up and get it out her system! She wouldn't choose to dress up everyday you go out. My kids don't.

My 2yo dd is obsessed with Cinderella and sometimes the only way we can get out the house is dressed up. Yesterday I took her to see my grandad in hospital in full Cinderella get up and everyone stopped to talk to her. When we left the entire ward said bye, they all loved it! She's not allowed to parks and stuff in them so we compromise with sparkles and tutus and the occasional crown. I'd rather get my money's worth since she's growing so quick.

YABU to expect other parents to change their rules so they match yours. Unfortunately there will be a while raft of ocassions when kids are doing stuff that you don't let your children do - you just have to start repeating the phrase, 'they may be doing that, but their families have their rules and our family has ours' (or have a tshirt made up, which you can point to!)

I think YABU about fancy dress too, but that is up to you. Dd2 lived in a Belle dress for about a year, it was like a full on ball gown - she wore leggings and a tshirt underneath, so often it would come off and be shoved in a bag, but it got worn to shreds, and now it has been turned into a Halloween costume! The only time she couldn't wear it was preschool, but everywhere else was fine.