Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 10 11 12 ··· 20 21

Original poster

To leave my 3 and 5 year olds downstairs while I take a nap?

510 replies

Snossidge · 13/09/2015 17:19

Basically the kids were all up at 6am today, 1 year old wanted a nap by 9am and I had a bit of a hangover. 3 and 5 year olds just wanted to play lego and watch Adventure Time.

Was I unreasonable to leave them alone for an hour while I napped upstairs?

OP posts:

Original poster

Snossidge · 13/09/2015 22:34

How is it a small step from being in the house to leaving the house

Alpaca, good to hear it, I am certainly not the most relaxed of my social circle by far!

I can't imagine how anxious children become growing up with parents who see certain death around every corner.

OP posts:

PastaLaFeasta · 13/09/2015 22:35

I remember mentioning falling asleep on the sofa to a HCP or maybe someone involved in SS or both. I was pregnant and DD1 was less than two, she wandered off to her bedroom so not in the same room (gate on the kitchen used a lot then). I felt bad but was told it was fine and the people they worry about do far worse - one locking herself in the bathroom to sleep so the kids couldn't get in.

Original poster

Snossidge · 13/09/2015 22:35

I wonder if the same posters worry about leaving children in a car incase it spontaneously combusts or they are kidnapped...

OP posts:

NuffSaidSam · 13/09/2015 22:36

'It's a small step from this to leaving your children home alone'

For you maybe, but not for everyone.

Original poster

Snossidge · 13/09/2015 22:38

Pasta - I certainly enjoy locking myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes peace, but I'm not desperate enough to sleep in there...

OP posts:

msgrinch · 13/09/2015 22:41

I was never left alone whilst my parents napped slept off their binge and managed all A*s at my very naice school. Ive never left my dc either and they're fiercely independent. What a ridiculous pp.

Carlywurly · 13/09/2015 22:42

I remember one hideous occasion of slumping over the kitchen table when I was ill with flu and mine were 4 and 2 just to get some rest.

I'm pretty sure they used to watch peppa pig DVDs downstairs in the mornings at around age 5 and 3 at weekends though. I used to get up, give them breakfast (staying with them) and then go back to bed and doze for an hour or so.

Nuffsaidsam makes a really good point. It's about the realistic risk. Does everyone on here get up at the crack of dawn every day with their dcs so they're never alone? I don't know anyone who did.

TwmSionCati · 13/09/2015 22:43

ooh I remember at my friends house, we had been out the night before and had a babysitter....the next morning our dear children decorated the house with hot chocolate powder as we slept.

AlpacaBackPack · 13/09/2015 22:44

OP, I'm not desperate enough to sleep in there - maybe because you're allowing yourself some breathing space? I do wonder about these parents who claim to hover over their children every minute of the day for what, 11, 15, 18 years - will they really be able to keep this up without taking their eye off the ball even once?

I know what sort of parent I'd rather be...

PastaLaFeasta · 13/09/2015 22:45

I remember seeing posts about leaving kids in the car while paying for petrol. Exploding cars is one reason given for not leaving them in there!

I'm quite anxious as a parent, but choking etc is something that could happen while you pop to the loo or even while you watch. At a friend's house the kids all went upstairs to play in their bedroom. Should we have followed them up and say watching them play dress up for half an hour? We didn't but we did pop up when they needed help. How do parents cope with houses where the living space is divided over two floors, like in many three story town houses? Are kids allowed to play in gardens without the adult watching - I'm paranoid about that but many do it.

DixieNormas · 13/09/2015 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Snossidge · 13/09/2015 22:47

There is absolutely no way I would attempt to get an 18 month old, 3yo and 5yo out of a car and walk them across a petrol station forecourt/into the local shop. Though I guess the argument would be that I should plan ahead so I never have to get petrol or pick up bread and milk with kids in the car...

OP posts:

MrsRyanGosling15 · 13/09/2015 22:48

Hungover, in charge of 3 children and goes for a nap. You do realise that's not even parenting?
I'll make sure to tell my friend she was being perfectly reasonable to leave her 4 year old in the living room whilst she was upstairs settling the baby and dozed off with her. Her 4 year old died with massive head injuries after the TV fell on him. She could hardly get the TV off him. It ended her world that day and the guilt will never leave her. Completely devastating. And she then had a subsequent police and coroners investigation. These things do happen!! Get out of your bed, watch your kids. The time for lazy mornings and day time naps is long gone. You'll have plenty of time to sleep when their are grown. I would rather be a helicopter parent than ignore the most precious things that I'm meant to take care of.

LittleMissStubborn · 13/09/2015 22:49

I have done similar (esp when having had a really really bad headache that involves lying down in a darkened room) however I have a small house and the layout of my house means that I was probably closer to them and more in earshot that many people are when they are in the kitchen and the children in a different room on the same floor.

I wouldn't do it if I lived in a house like my MIL's house though, despite it not really being any bigger as the layout would mean I would be too far away and too much out of earshot for it to be safe.

sproketmx · 13/09/2015 22:50

I would. And I do. Depends on your kids really, some people's kids I wouldn't trust but mine I would

Original poster

Snossidge · 13/09/2015 22:51

Surely that could have happened while she was in the toilet, having a shower or hanging out washing Mrs?

OP posts:

minionmadness · 13/09/2015 22:51

What I find incredible is the notion that someone is so tired that they need to sleep right there an then, like their life depended on it.

One of my dts's has ASD and has never slept more than a 4 hours stretch since born 7 years, he is often awake numerous times through the night... yet strangely I've never been that tired that I would have left his dtb alone downstairs whilst I fucked off to get some sleep in case I died from lack of it.

CrapBag · 13/09/2015 22:52

YABVU.

I have a chronic illness and I really struggle to wake up and sometime stay awake during the day. In the morning when DH has gone to work, he wakes me first and DCs are downstairs, I am dozing/trying to wake but any noise and I'm instantly awake, I also shout down to them and 1 or the other generally comes up at some point. I am not asleep at all. Other times I have dozed on the sofa and they have been watching TV and sat with me or playing on the floor beside me.

I can't believe your selfish reply of it isn't a relaxing nap! FFS! Who gives a shit. The safety of your children is more important than you having a relaxing nap. You have young children, you deal with them hangover or not. Whether it was a rare occurrence and you don't get the chance is irrelevant. You knew you were going to be in sole charge of your children then you drink accordingly. You certainly don't leave them with choking hazards!

I also can't believe anyone would leave a 2 and a half year old downstairs with food whilst they went off to sleep. Choking is bloody silent. You would have had no idea. I witnessed my 3 and a half year old brother choke. It was horrible. Thankfully there was a responsible adult next to him who got it sorted.

NuffSaidSam · 13/09/2015 22:55

I once got told on here that I shouldn't leave my 9/10 year old at home alone for 20 minutes in case the double glazing exploded or a cactus fell on her .

We don't have any cacti so I took the risk.

HoursTurnIntoDays · 13/09/2015 22:57

I do this all the time with my DCs who are also 3 and 5 and have done so for a long time - especially when I had morning sickness. Wouldn't think twice about it. The main problem is they keep coming up in to talk to me so I can only sleep for 5 mins at a time

PastaLaFeasta · 13/09/2015 22:58

I never get petrol, I make DH do it, we hardly use the car, but thankfully there are pay at pump things now if I was desperate and I'm lucky to have a very local shop. Having a bad back makes car seats a pain in the ass, literally, so I would leave them if it was safe and probably did a couple of times.

A parent sleeping isn't always to sleep off a hangover. I have bad insomnia when I'm in a lot of pain, sometime I need a bit extra sleep or just to rest. DH gets up all week at 6am so he sometimes sleeps in or even has a nap in the day at weekend. Or maybe we've been up in the night with DD1's nightmares and DD2's asthma.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 13/09/2015 22:58

Amazing!

LittleMissStubborn · 13/09/2015 23:00

I rarely sleep though, just doze. The times I have slept it has been with a toddler asleep next to me.

MrsRyanGosling15 · 13/09/2015 23:02

How long does it take to go to the toilet? How long to hang washing? No long enough for a 4 year old to pull a toy box out and climb up to try and push buttons because he couldn't find the remote. So no, it wouldn't have happened if she was awake. And why would you leave kids whilst you were in the shower? Again you can't see or hear them. I try really hard not to judge people, I really do. But honestly, I feel sorry for your kids. You truly are coming across as a totally crap parent. I would be mortified if so many people were telling me I was clearly in the wrong with my parenting skills and would be looking to change them ASAP. There is no arguing with stupid.

Original poster

Snossidge · 13/09/2015 23:04

What do you do with your kids when you shower then Have them all in the bathroom watching?

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 ··· 10 11 12 ··· 20 21