To leave my 3 and 5 year olds downstairs while I take a nap?

[Snossidge]

Basically the kids were all up at 6am today, 1 year old wanted a nap by 9am and I had a bit of a hangover. 3 and 5 year olds just wanted to play lego and watch Adventure Time.

Was I unreasonable to leave them alone for an hour while I napped upstairs?

Whatever op. I've reported also. Good effort. Surely you should get to bed now, it's school tomorrow.

It's seriously weird that you would assume I'm a troll because I disagree about whether you can nap with children downstairs Do you never come across people who parent differently to you in real life?

Whoknew - I'm aware my oldest is unusually sensible My youngest is probably more like your son.

Reported.

Either you are bullshit or just a really crap parent.

Yes I do like I said up thread, my friend did this. Now she has her life scrutinised by SS.

Put it this way if this helps with your decision, I'm a HCP and if I had dealt with a child who had injured themselves and their only adult was upstairs asleep, I would be obliged to inform SS

5? Maybe, depending on the child.

3? No, absolutely not. I am far from being a helicopter parent but I would not have left my 3 year old downstairs while I slept upstairs.

My 6 year old often comes down on her own and makes herself breakfast and puts on the TV. She started doing that when she was around 5 and a half iirc.

Seriously at the idea that this simply must be a troll! No-one could possibly have had a snooze upstairs while their kids played lego downstairs! It must be fiction! A lot of people must live very sheltered lives.

It's very much like them being on their own because children can hurt themselves quietly! They could knock themselves unconscious, or walk out the door, or open the door to a stranger, or choke, or drown. So many things could happen with the sleeping parent having no fucking idea.

Thanks Sam, starting to think I must live a very different life to some posters!

I just have one more thing to say and then I'm out

As an teacher I have dealt with a few child.protection issues now. A big red flag is not just parents obviously lying and trying to bullshit their way out of getting into trouble. We have also had parents who have very casually admitted to things that are very obviously unaccsptable, presumably because they don't realise that these things are so unacceptable. Both are equally as worrying and both types of families have ended up with heavy social services involvement.

If this is real, then we are all telling you that this is not acceptable.parenting. it's not a case.of 'well you are all just helicopter parents, I'm just more.chilled'. People are telling you that if a hv, teacher or social worker got wind of this, it.would be taken seriously.

But and your.'much more chilled' boyfriend crack on

They couldn't open a door to a stranger (and I would hear the door anyway, it's a small house), they couldn't drown (in what? I'd hear a tap running), if one managed to knock themselves unconscious I'd hear it, plus the other would tell me. I guess they could choke on something, but they could do that whether I was asleep or awake.

If you can hear all that while lying in bed, why bother going to bed, doesnt sound like you would get much of a nap to me........

Exactly! Maybe prioritise your children over a couple of bottles of wine or get a baby sitter? Or get your boyfriend to supervise the children while you sleep off your hangover. Though actually from what you've said he's probably not the best option.

YABU - you should have let them watch something in your room whilst you semi dozed. You should only have left them alone

How could you possibly hear one of them knocking themselves unconscious if you are ASLEEP!? And of course they could choke if you were awake but you weren't that's the whole fucking point.

You sound like on of those parents who try to make out like they're soooooooo laid back and chilled out. None of this is laid back or chilled out. It's actually really bad patenting. Lay off the booze if you cant look after your children with the resulting hangover. Poor kids.

Osidian We need to deal with realistic risk. It's not beyond the realm of all possibility that both the OP's children could simultaneously choke or be silently knocked unconscious, but what are the chances? Really?

It's not impossible that the ground floor could suddenly and silently flood and the DC drown while she is upstairs asleep (and dry), but again....what are the chances? Really?

Probably less than the DC silently dying of carbon monoxide poisoning or being kidnapped from their beds or killed in a house fire while everyone is asleep overnight. But you're not actually suggesting that we all sit and stare at our DC all night are you?

I don't believe you're a troll OP... I do however believe you have a blurred line attitude towards what is good and not good enough parenting.

They are your dc OP so carry on as you see fit, but if HCP's were coming onto a thread and telling me it would not be viewed in a positive way by them then I would be questioning my parenting choices.

Snossidge, don't worry, you're definitely not alone no matter what the MN PFB brigade say Fairly normal behaviour here - for what it's worth, upper middle class area, high average level of education (mostly university level or higher). I've never personally come across ANY family with SS involvement (although of course I realise that this happens across all levels of society).

Thank goodness we've felt able to give our children more independence from a young age than most of the sanctimonious posters on here! In case you're wondering, they've turned out exceptionally well, thank you. The eldest is just about to head to what is widely considered one of the best / most sought after secondary schools in the country on a scholarship.

I remember that a friend of mine used to do exactly what the OP describes when she was pg with no 3, years ago - except her DCs were aged 3 and 18 months. As a GP she was fully aware of risks (and had childproofed her home accordingly) and also had close links with SS. Her two eldest DCs are now at medical school themselves, while the youngest is headed for stellar A levels.

I do love MN but there just seems to be a general overprotective attitude here that simply isn't realistic, desirable or even representative of society as a whole...

Oh blimey OP, I didn't expect so much outrage. I live in a flat so perhaps it's not so bad and I'm a very light sleeper, I do sleep in my bedroom while the kids watch TV, the doors are all open and I can hear them easily. I actually use my bedroom as a living space too as I have a bad back and need to lie down a lot. My five yr old wakes at 5am sometimes and I have no interest in sitting with her while she plays at that time. She often wakes her three year old sister to play too. They are unsupervised at other times while I do housework or catch up with work emails or have a shower or they may choose to go play in their bedroom, but doors are always open and they are happy to jump on me for a cuddle - I can see the length of the flat from the bed, right to the front door. DC1 was into everything as a toddler so the house is more child proof than other homes with kids that we've visited. I don't think they've ever injured themselves playing alone, the worst things they've done tend to be when supervised or if an eye has been taken off them for a very short time, including at nursery. The main problem is they make a mess and fight. I remember spending time alone downstairs as a kid watching TV on a weekend morning with my younger sister, probably from that age, I enjoyed it. However, I do wonder if the stairs are an issue. We almost moved to a house and I knew it wouldn't be so easy to have a lie down with a bedroom upstairs, I thought I could put on a stair gate and keep them playing in their rooms instead if needed, I presume that's far more acceptable than playing downstairs in the living room.

It's a small step from this to leaving your children home alone. If nothing bad happens fair enough but if something bad did happen you could be charged with neglect.

Yabu too young

I wouldn't, same floor at least