Calling someone a 4x4 is as bad as racism

[Rufusgy]

Cbb related but I really don't see why this is acceptable at all. Should be classified as bad as many other 'isms' that have a zero tolerance in society.

You don't need to have a child with every partner, though some women don't seem to understand or agree with this. I get the sense that consciously or unconsciously it is done to 'lock in' the man to the relationship or as some sort of sign that the relationship is a serious one.

Cross-posted with CharlotteQ.

My SiL is one up from this, she has five children by five, yes five different men. My dh doesn't really get on with her, he never has to be honest but he thinks she's a disgrace, and that she will continue to have more children, as shock horror she's not even in a relationship with the father of her fifth child.

4 men, 4 children close in age tells you a lot about the person. Where is the best interests of the children. Sounds very dysfunctional.

SoupDragon, I just snorted tea at that!

DD's Dad has 3 by 3, he describes himself as having two children, his stepdaughter and his youngest daughter, the eldest two, as in my dd and the one who came after her don't count.
He is an arse.

What Holowiwi said. Of course the two things aren't comparable. As others have pointed out race is a protected characteristic.

No one is forced to parade themselves and seek out publicity on cbb either.

one +ve[ i always look for them !] is that with all those relatives, there has to be some good 'uns and all the kids will get some good out of some of them. BTW i thought 4x4 was the measurement of a particularly thick piece of wood used in construction.

It's nothing like racism.

It's a rude term that shows a not entirely unreasonable judgement about a woman who has made choices resulting in having 4 children with 4 different fathers. I wouldn't use the term because I try not to call people names, but I can't imagine a circumstance when I would think it was a good series of decisions to end up in that position.
I would hold the same judgement of a man who did the same thing.

Rude yes but not remotely comparable to racism.

People make choices about having children with different partners. Nobody can choose their race.

The more I think about it, the more I think that the underlying misogyny is comparable, yes.

As an aside, Natasha has an age spread of something like 12 years across her three kids. Her third was born three years into an apparently stable marriage (yes, I googled). She hasn't been running round having kids after five minutes.

I think that having kids with several partners is the triumph of hope over experience.
Bit rich for Farah Abraham to be making moral judgements about anybody. She is rude and nasty. If I was a child I'd rather Natasha Hamilton was my mother than Farah Abraham!

*across her four kids

Why care? Seriously why give a hoot? I have 3 fathers to mine and I couldn't give a hoot of someone called me a trike for example. It's just a name. Daft name calling like in the playground. Jeez tell them your dad can stuff their dad and be done with it

im PMSL @ 'a trike'

Do you know what racism is op??

I have four, when we moved schools a Mum in the playground asked me if they all had the same Dad

I actually really wanted to say, "No they all have different Dads". Just to wind her up.

Still at least she outed herself as an idiot for me and I knew who to avoid.

It is misogyny. But many people find misogyny acceptable sadly.

It is misogyny. but, as I posted upthread, not in everyone's experience.

It doesn't need a comparison to racism, it's not racist.

The offender needs to be called out for sexism. Because it is a sexist comment.

LOL, of course a guy who had 4 kids by 4 different mothers is judged.

Of course, people are less likely to actually know that that is what he has done. Such men are highly unlikely to have said kids living in their homes.

Obviously not everyone is judgemental of men or women with multiple children/parent combo, or the consecutive DC wouldn't have occurred

If I'm being totally honest, I judge. My sister has 3x3 (I think she's going for the full 'Ulrika' as she's still young) and although I'm judgemental, it's mainly due to the fact that she's had kids with people she didn't really know (two of them really lovely guys) and has done so because it's suited her. She has no means to be able to provide for these children, nor, as far as I can tell, any desire to do so.

She has used them to manipulate the equally feckless fathers and my parents.

Yabu