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AIBU?

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Barrister claiming sexism after Linked-In message

429 replies

Flashbangandgone · 10/09/2015 14:20

AIBU to think she's overreacting somewhat... I'm not sure so I thought I'd check out views on here:

www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/34206080/linkedin-sexism-row-charlotte-proudman-says-lawyer-used-site-like-tinder

She is clearly very attractive, and she has clearly gone to some trouble to post a photo that emphasises that. If a man compliments her for that, albeit rather clumsily, but nonetheless not in any lewd or crude manner, is that sexist or just a man gently flirting in the hope of a positive response?

If something as relatively innocuous as this appears to be is vilified as sexism, what are the boundaries for men flirting in a work-place environment without risking being charged with sexism? I wonder if her response would have been different if she had been single and she happenned to be attracted to the man making those remarks...

I've a feeling this might be controversial....

OP posts:
Narp · 14/09/2015 18:25

Marina Hyde wrote a really funny piece about this in the Saturday Guardian

Scremersford · 15/09/2015 13:55

larrygrylls The first response to an inappropriate act (not a crime) should be to ask the person to apologise and desist, not to publicly shame them. If someone realises that they have behaved inappropriately, apologises and does not repeat the behaviour, that should be the end of it. Workplace law is sensibly based on this principle.

Can I ask where you find these rules? In the absence of the Appropriate Responses to Unwelcome Acts Act (undated), responses will, quite rightly, vary.

There is no such thing as "Workplace law" - there are numerous pieces of employment legislation, common law, and some voluntary, advisory codes of practice, none of which state such conduct as you suggest in a legally binding form. Its really disturbing when people make up the law, so please can you desist, in the unlikely even that someone believes you and is unable to check for themselves?

He was mildly inappropriate given that Linked In is (mainly but not exclusively) a professional forum. She could have pointed this out to him and given him a chance to apologise. That would have been appropriate and professional.

Again, the rules of professional practice state no such thing. In fact, practitioners are free to choose how they respond to unwelcome advances. Such a prescriptive policy as you suggest risks making a professional body liable in negligence should such conduct cause personal injury, or escalates. In many situations, a very aggressive response, giving no leeway for misunderstanding, is very appropriate, effective and advisable.

Lweji, Can we discuss what happened and not broaden this into a theoretical debate encompassing domestic abuse etc. You are trying a silencing tactic of getting me to defend something indefensible (and which I find as disgusting as you do) by lumping together cats, dogs and watermelons and asking me to like all or none of them

Again, these mysterious rules you would like to apply, now not only to the workplace but to discussions in general. Maybe you need to challenge your own approach first, so that you learn how to participate in proper discussions with varying opinions?

Lweji · 17/09/2015 13:44

Just in case someone missed it, here's Charlotte take on the whole thing in the Guardian.
www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/sep/16/charlotte-proudman-women-sexist-misogyny

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