Barrister claiming sexism after Linked-In message

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AIBU to think she's overreacting somewhat... I'm not sure so I thought I'd check out views on here:

www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/34206080/linkedin-sexism-row-charlotte-proudman-says-lawyer-used-site-like-tinder

She is clearly very attractive, and she has clearly gone to some trouble to post a photo that emphasises that. If a man compliments her for that, albeit rather clumsily, but nonetheless not in any lewd or crude manner, is that sexist or just a man gently flirting in the hope of a positive response?

If something as relatively innocuous as this appears to be is vilified as sexism, what are the boundaries for men flirting in a work-place environment without risking being charged with sexism? I wonder if her response would have been different if she had been single and she happenned to be attracted to the man making those remarks...

I've a feeling this might be controversial....

It's not measured boffin it's a calculated reaction.

If they wanted to defend a trusted and respected colleague who they felt had done nothing wrong, they most definitely would do so.

It really isn't a petty grievance. I find it quite repulsive when men a generation older than me drool. Which is much less awful.

Personally speaking I would have complimented the offender on his own resplendent mugshot, and asked him whether his magnificent tan was real or whether he had availed of bronzing powder on the day, and if so, how many pints of the stuff. But then I am not a humourless fecker who has a habit of assuming all Linked In communications must be devoid of personality.

Do you imagine that no one has ever tried humour on this dinosour before?

He would just laugh at you, call you a lesbian or frigid and make life difficult behind your back.

That's not humour, BoffinMum. It makes you feel better to call it humour because you have been conditioned not to assert yourself. But it's actually passive aggression and will elicit a passive aggressive response, crescendo.

Bloody hell, it's hot in here.

I am with the OP.

I am off too now but have enjoyed the debate. Although I think what she did was disproportionate and partly for publicity I actually hope she has not ruined her career. We do need clever, strong women in the professions. On that at least I should think we are all agreed.

OOOOHHHH NOOOOO! (whispered hiss) "She's Making A Scene"
Well, we have tried the tactic of not making a scene for decades and it hasn't bloody well worked, at least not for everyone - and, like a PP, I don't think there's an acceptable level of sexist bullshit in the workplace. So maybe it's time to do something different and talk about it in public. Good for her.

As far as the "she's a barrister and they have to have discretion" argument goes - bollocks, it's not as if she blabbed details of a case on social media. Also agree with the other PP who admired a barrister who could get in there and fight their corner rather than meekly accepting or quietly swerving unpleasant behaviour and pretending to the world that it hadn't happened.

Good for her using it as an example of everyday sexism that affects a lot of, perhaps most, women in most fields at some stage in their careers. I think that's why she went public - not every action by every woman is to manipulate things to advance their own career.

Also good on her for rejecting his ridiculous nonapology : "Sorry you were offended " (your fault) "Sorry you misinterpreted my comments" - (also your fault). She was right to reject that arrogant blame shifting rubbish.

He seems a bit of a dick but she needs to lighten up.

Agree about the school prefect pencil thing BoffinMum.

It's like health and safety. Right now there's a big drive in industry on reporting near misses and small accidents because they indicate a trend of bigger incidents and you can fix the dangerous stairs or late night driving or whatever before someone gets killed.

Small remarks and incidents like this give away that business senior management is riddled with middle aged men who can't take women seriously as professionals but only see them as sexual objects, consequently are consciously or unconsciously discriminating all the way to the boardroom.

Exactly Steam

'innocuous'? My fecking arse. Ugh.

CP's brave stand obviously won't wipe out sexism in the legal profession, but it is one of the many steps that we will need to achieve this.

Appeasement and self-effacement don't help

For an ordinary worker, sending a sexist / racist / homophobic EMail can be grounds for dismissal, as can that kind of comment in social media, if it embarasses the employer. This has significantly improved workplace conduct.

However, someone in senior management, or well established in the professions, is often untouchable by such means.
So, public exposure for them may be the only effective sanction.
Or just let them get away with it, as they feel entitled to do.

I think she's over reacted.

Also, he didn't contact her out of the blue because of her photo. She sent him a request on linked in.

I'm totally with her, dealing with it privately wouldn't have made a jot of difference. It was a totally inappropriate response to an approach as a professional contact, if it makes even a few more people think twice about how they interact with others via the internet in a work context then she's done us all a favour.

She sent him a request on linked in

Since when a woman approaching a man in a professional context gives free licence to chat her up or comment on her image?
I'd be mightily pissed off if I approached a man in a congress and he started commenting on my appearance. As if that's what mattered in that case. Or that I even valued or cared about it in a professional context. But it would certainly indicate that that is how he saw me. Not a colleague but a piece to be admired (or not).

I don't think either career will be hurt by this. ACS will be surrounded by people who agree with his side (it was harmless) whilst CP will find many clients who admire her for her actions.

It would be a great shame if this affected her negatively or if this put other women off 'making a fuss' due to the epic backlash this has caused. Charlotte Proudman has stood up and called out this behaviour and in doing so, has opened the door for many other women to admit what they are often subject to. Had she not done this, had she admonished him privately and moved on, the hundreds of women who have tweeted similar messages would never have had the opportunity to.

No, it isn't technically harassment but it's the subtle, corrosive, insidious nature of these types of behaviour that lead women to minimise true harassment.

Her career will definitely be hurt by this. Nobody will want to hire someone who is likely to turn a comment in the office such as "You look great in that suit today" into a vendetta to be played out in social media.

I really disagree, Cote, that her career will be hurt. And your analogy is inaccurate.

I totally agree cote it is never ok to plaster private exchanges over social media looking to shame someone.

It's not even an analogy, sadly. "Your picture is stunning" online is no different than "You look stunning" in person.

Most recruiters will not risk bringing into their office environment someone who is likely to go berserk if a man dares say "You look great today". Also from a more general point of view, there will always be other candidates who don't fly off the handle in this manner when faced with conflict and broadcast it all on social media. None of it looks good for her from an employability perspective, I'm afraid.

Reading a bit now, I see that she is not currently working. It all feels like a calculated publicity stunt to me.

Yes, it is different.

I disagree with Cote too, many people would be very happy to work with someone who makes a stand against unacceptable workplace behaviour.

It is very different from a comment made face to face by a colleage you already know.