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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that calling a baby naughty is wrong?

104 replies

Quietlifenotonyournelly · 10/09/2015 09:25

I know it's NOMYB really but it's been bothering me.
So, baby in question is around 7 months old therefore limited to what it can do, eg can roll over but not crawl, can't talk etc. Parent says that they stopped taking baby to X because he's too naughty!
It wasn't like the parent was joking about it, they meant it by the tone used. I just can't imagine why someone would think that way, it made me Sad

AIBU?

OP posts:
W00t · 10/09/2015 09:27

I don't know, its a very good indicator of which people to avoid/ignore advice from!

Andrewofgg · 10/09/2015 09:29

PMSL. Not naughty: deeply wicked, spawn of Satan. 7 months old . . . ridiculous!

Jackie0 · 10/09/2015 09:29

What on earth do they mean?
The only example I can think of is a baby & toddler class clashing with naptime and he isn't too naughty to go , he's too tired.
They need to watch the vocabulary they use around children though, labeling a 7m naughty is horrible and makes me think of the damaging words parents use like , stupid , lazy etc

User543212345 · 10/09/2015 09:30

With you OP! An ex-friend of mine said her newborn had taken to "bad behaviour" and she was having trouble getting him to understand and behave appropriately. There are no words.

Original poster
Quietlifenotonyournelly · 10/09/2015 09:33

I have 4 DCs so not new to parenting but would never think that a baby was naughty. I just can't imagine what sort of life this poor child will have if it's told 'your naughty' from being so young.

OP posts:
gabsdot45 · 10/09/2015 09:34

I met a mother once in the course of my work who referred to her 3 week old baby as a bully. Poor little guy

Original poster
Quietlifenotonyournelly · 10/09/2015 09:36

JackieO They meant that they stopped going somewhere because of the naughty behaviour, so not just tired. I was Shock so didn't ask to elaborate.

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 10/09/2015 09:36

Idiotic thing to say and very worrying. People do get funny ideas about babies even younger that that, suggesting that they're wrapping you round their little finger or playing up or winding you up or whatever. Like Sweary's ex-friend I guess. There's clueless and then there's clueless Hmm

Jackie0 · 10/09/2015 09:41

It's just horrible

MsTargaryen · 10/09/2015 09:42

Yanbu. It's like when people ask new parents if the baby is good or well behaved. Its a baby!

Dieu · 10/09/2015 09:44

Are you sure the parents weren't joking?! It's a ridiculous thing to say in earnest.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 10/09/2015 09:45

YNBU. HTAF can a 7 month old baby be naughty. I hate that word anyway. No matter what the age of the child. If they continue labeling him. I guarantee, that. He/she will live up to it.
And Gabs, ShockShockShock. I have no words for the first time on here on IRL. I am speechless.

Cockbollocks · 10/09/2015 09:46

I often call my 4 month old a naughty little bubba and was about to say yabu.

However in this context yadnbu, sounds pretty mean.

Original poster
Quietlifenotonyournelly · 10/09/2015 09:47

Dieu it wouldn't even be on my mind if parent had been joking.

OP posts:
Lj8893 · 10/09/2015 09:47

I once had a stupid woman say that my dd (at 9 months) was naughty as she was crying and I needed to discipline her. Hmm

ifgrandmahadawilly · 10/09/2015 09:50

Crazy. There was a woman in my baby group like this with her 6 month old but it turned out she had really bad pnd, so her perspective may have been a little off.

MsTargaryen, I was equally as bemused as you when people used to ask if my baby was 'good'. It turns out that what they are actually asking is 'are they sleeping well / an easy baby'.

Unfortunately, there are some people out there who still buy into the idea that babies are manipulating you when they cry for attention / to be held etc (my mother is one of them) and the way to deal with this is to 'not given in to them'. Angry

SoupDragon · 10/09/2015 09:50

Personally I think it's an overreaction to be at all bothered by this.

blibblobblub · 10/09/2015 09:52

MsTargaryen yy, the number of people who ask me if my 3 month old DD is "good". She's a baby ffs!

OP, YANBU. What is even wrong with people.

Dieu · 10/09/2015 09:53

An elderly midwife at hospital told me that I was 'spoiling' my newborn by lifting her up when crying. Some people are in the wrong job, and how sad that she should go through her whole career actually believing that ...

Original poster
Quietlifenotonyournelly · 10/09/2015 09:53

SoupDragon I don't get bothered easily but when it comes to babies and small children I do.

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 10/09/2015 09:57

Soup, you don't find it extremely worrying that the parents of a young baby are seriously describing them as naughty? OP has been clear that they were not joking but really meant what they said. What does that say about their attitude to the baby?

canyou · 10/09/2015 10:00

What is the naughty behaviour?
I could not take one of my DC to a local indoor market as an infant or toddler as he would have a screaming fit, even sound asleep he would wake up and scream. That was frustrating but not naughty, we never discovered what it was that upset him, I just had to leave him outside with my mum but my MIL did try to tell me I was dancing to his tune Hmm

SoupDragon · 10/09/2015 10:01

Clearly I don't find it "extremely worrying" given I think it is an overreaction.

Lottapianos · 10/09/2015 10:06

OK Soup, since we're all busy 'over reacting' here, what do you think would be a reasonable reaction to a parent describing their baby as 'naughty'?

Original poster
Quietlifenotonyournelly · 10/09/2015 10:13

So far this morning my DS 7 months has, played tug-of-war with my hair (sideburns ouch!), decided to practice his pincer grip on my septum eye watering experience and managed to poke me in the eye. This is NOT naughty, just learning IMO.

OP posts: