To be fed up of pretentious product names?

[ThomasRichard]

I wanted bag of crisps from a vending machine - 30 second job. I had to read an absolute essay on one packet just to find out which flavour it was: 'chicken soups saves the day'

I just want crisps/paint/pudding/ with labels that tell me what they are rather than leaving it to my imagination.

'Elephant fart' is not a colour.
'Chicken soup saves the day' is not a flavour.
'Gu-zillionaire' is not a dessert.

Am I just a grump?

Elephant Fart

YANBU, and the Daily Mash has something that'll make you smile -

www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/product-somehow-succeeds-without-social-media-bullshit-2014110792546

Elephant fart

I'm fed up with "sea salt and balsamic vinegar". Give me plain old salt and vinegar any day!

I hate when products talk to you. "I'm an Innocent Smoothie and I'm full of delicious fucking bananas". I want to drink you, not make friends.

This made me laugh! Yanbu!

I hate the actimel ads with all of their trifidus digestivum bullshit.

YANBU about the names, but it's not really that hard to read the flavour (assuming there isn't more than one crisp manufacturer with this name)

Stupid fucking chatty instructions on the back of shampoo bottles give me the rage.

I know how to wash my own pissing hair, ta.

saucy I've always wondered why they still have to put instructions on shampoos and things like that. And ads for toilet paper - who isn't buying it lol ( I know that's a joke from somewhere but I cant think of where its from) - anyway as I said I'm a grump

fully agree, but i am a confirmed old fart.

Loki it is when the packet is sideways and I'm expecting 'chicken flavour' rather than waffle!

wasonthelist I just had to explain to concerned colleagues why I was crying with laughter

The Daily Mash article was LOLz.

I am extremely susceptible to this kind of packaging.

Completely agree. Especially re innocent smoothies and chatty shampoo bottles.

Clearly I am an old fart too.

Lush are the worst culprits. " Die and go to heaven in a flurry of angels period blood " or pink fucking bubble bath as it is anywhere else

The other one that occurs to me is Puccino's (is that the name?) coffee. With all its "Stuart small" and "pointless little biscuit". Even if meant to be ironic.

Love the daily mash article.

I'm still baffled by what the flavour is. Is it chicken soup? Which surely tastes the and as chicken...?

Google "innocentese" for some good blog posts on the irritating random and/or pally language brands use now.

notasinglefuck seriously?!

*same, not and.

STBexH visited Innocent Towers just to what would happen and he said they were all very friendly and he got to see their astro-turfed cars.

No but the wordy bollocks on everything is close enough. I just want fucking soap

There's a shop near us that's labelled itself a 'lifestyle salon'
It's a hairdressers.

You realise I'll never be able to buy pink bubble bath again. The word "flurry" didn't help.

Arf at lifestyle salon