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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my child to be safe at parties and soft play?

67 replies

snakesandbastards · 06/09/2015 10:22

This has probably been done to death before, but I am just sick of the lack of supervision from parents and soft play owners.

DS2 (2) now has 3 big scratches on his cheek from some child (he was behind a pillar so he slipped out of sight) at a party yesterday and was pushed over by some older boys (around 6) at soft play despite the upper age limit being 4!

I know this isn't unusual and shoving isn't unusual either but scratching? Angry

OP posts:
Toffeelatteplease · 06/09/2015 10:23

Soft play= real life Lord of the flies.

NerrSnerr · 06/09/2015 10:25

Were you there? If so, then it's 100% your responsibility to watch your child. These things do happen though, with even the best supervision.

VegasIsBest · 06/09/2015 10:26

Sorry to hear about your son.

However why weren't you supervising more closely? Your son was out of sight and presumably the other kids were out of sight of their parents.

ThatsNotEvenAWord · 06/09/2015 10:29

Soft play= real life Lord of the flies

Grin
IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 06/09/2015 10:29

Parties - yes
Soft play - meh it's like going in against the gladiators for some children so you can take your eye off them

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 06/09/2015 10:29

Never take your eye off them

Mrsjayy · 06/09/2015 10:36

Well tbh your son was scratched 3 times if you had been supervising a bit better he might not have been scratched is the other way to look at it

DotaDay · 06/09/2015 10:36

I think it's unrealistic to expect parents at parties to be watching every child all the time. It's just not possible. If you are concerned then you should stay and watch your own child.

I have four kids and they still got injured in soft play places from time to time even when I was there watching them. I would still take them back as they loved them so much.

Bakeoffcake · 06/09/2015 10:40

As DS is 2, weren't you by his side?

JoJoWill · 06/09/2015 10:42

All the softplay place round here explicitly state that the staff are not there to supervise the children

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/09/2015 10:43

It's the parents responsibility to supervise their own child. BUT If your child is likely to scratch or hit someone their parent should not be leaving them.with the opportunity to do that and should be diciplining the child. not to mention keeping bigger children out the age restricted areas.

Kids do slip out if view and 99 percent of the time everything's OK. but if I had a scratcher or biter or shover then I'd pull my kids out because it's not fair on the others to be terrorised.

the mum or dad must know they do it so should have a system. of supervision in place for them so others can enjoy their time

BarbarianMum · 06/09/2015 10:48

YABU if you are expecting your ds to get through childhood without a mark on him. At age 2 you need to be watching like a hawk anyway. For all you know he snatched some kids dummy then punched him Wink

My ds1 once bit a little girl who pushed her hand into his mouth - I was busy w ds2 and had taken my eyes off him for a second. Her mum brought them both over howling and explained. She was very nice about it actually.

Branleuse · 06/09/2015 10:48

YABU. what toffeelatte said ^^

These places arent "safe" theyre play areas, where children go nuts on blue slushpuppies, chase each other and bomb around like nutcases.

I dont think theyre likely to sustain anything traumatic, but scratches, bruises and even the odd broken bone is par for the course

ohtheholidays · 06/09/2015 10:50

Ouch bless him,poor little boy I bet that really hurt.

It really annoys me when parents are aware that they're child is going through a biting,hiting or scratching stage and they don't watch them closely enough.I know it can be exhausting we have 5DC and 2 of our children are disabled and so am I now but I've always managed to watch them all.

We've been really lucky so far none of ours have been the one's doing the hurting.But they have been hurt by other people's children,I was watching mine at the time,shame the other parents weren't watching they're child.Hmm

Flutterbutterfly · 06/09/2015 10:51

Don't go. I avoided these places.

No one supervises children, it is Lord of the flies.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 06/09/2015 10:52

Yes at 2 you should be watching him more closer.

Ds2 fell, or was pushed off, the details I was given was a bit hazy, a very low squashy cube and broke his arm when he was 6 at a soft play party. Accidents happen. It was a bugger though because it was just before the summer holidays so it was difficult to swim in the sea, swimming pools, play in paddling pools, bounce on the trampoline etc.

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/09/2015 10:53

I dont think theyre likely to sustain anything traumatic, but scratches, bruises and even the odd broken bone is par for the course

if your talking about kids falling over or accidently bumping into things or people I agree.

if your saying being shoved around scratched or bitten or pushed iver so your arm breaks is par of the course, I have to ask since bloody when?

when on earth did we start accepting kids will intentionally cause injuries to other children and we just shrug it off as normal?

msgrinch · 06/09/2015 10:54

yabu at his age you need to be by his side supervising him.

AuntieStella · 06/09/2015 10:54

It's a MN irregular verb:

My DC slipped out of sight for a moment.
Your DC is woefully unsupervised.
Their DC are like Lotd of the Flies.

Toffeelatteplease · 06/09/2015 10:54

Scratching biting hitting all imho quite normal in soft play and from otherwise delightful children

Of course you can supervise your child throughtout the soft play but most people don't. Also a surprisingly number of people don't have a clue that their child does hit/bite/scratch in soft play.

Some soft play environments are more likely to engender worse behaviour than others. If it is hard to see into every area of the soft play it is more likely that bad behaviour will fester. The best soft plays are the ones will a full height walk way on ground level and that allow easy grownup access at ground level

Mrsjayy · 06/09/2015 10:55

If the bigger kids were in the toddler bit then of course their parents should have been watching them but they really are every kid for themselves sort of places and scuffles will happen

Partybugs · 06/09/2015 10:55

Sorry, scratching and other unsupervised vile behaviour is usual at soft play hell.
Poor little mite though.. It's horrible when that happens.
But, put it down to experience.. Either don't go, or stick with him and don't let him out of your sight.

PurpleSkyatthewateringhole · 06/09/2015 10:57

My DC weren't let loose on soft play without me behind them until they turned 4yrs old. At 2yrs I would have been behind them stopping then getting hurt.

Doublebubblebubble · 06/09/2015 10:59

I agree with the sentiment. It is a real life lord of the flies (cant say I've seen cannibalism though I cant guarantee that it doesn't happen). :)

If you were there when the scratch happened then, I feel, the scratch is on you responsibility wise not the soft play centre.

Just last week I took my DD (6) to soft play, with a couple of her friends and I was 34 weeks pregnant (there was another parent with me - who is 32 weeks) when one of the children got "hurt" (she was more shocked than anything) because a little girl threw a plastic ball at her... We told her parent immediately as soon as we took her home and she took it as one of those things that happen. There is only so much that you can do without it becoming awkward and confrontational, when at the centre. When we got there we knew ( perhaps we were a little irresponsible - but we the children needed a break, that once they were in the soft play - there was no way of getting them out - until they got tired/hungry.

I think soft play centres help children learn boundaries and there is always going to be that one kid that is a bit rough but again this helps children to learn who is nice to play with and who isn't... You really cant keep them wrapped up in cotton wool.

Branleuse · 06/09/2015 11:02

i meant broken bones from going down slides wrong etc, or falling off things, not by other tots coming at yours with a sledgehammer

A&E is full of softplay injuries, so safety is relative