To expect my child to be safe at parties and soft play?

[snakesandbastards]

This has probably been done to death before, but I am just sick of the lack of supervision from parents and soft play owners.

DS2 (2) now has 3 big scratches on his cheek from some child (he was behind a pillar so he slipped out of sight) at a party yesterday and was pushed over by some older boys (around 6) at soft play despite the upper age limit being 4!

I know this isn't unusual and shoving isn't unusual either but scratching?

I am reading this thread as the mum of a relapsed hitter. He was over it and I was beside him constantly through it and he still managed to get plenty of hits in but he's emotional at the moment because of new baby and at soft play the other day, while I was bfing, he hit and pushed his best pal . Luckily my friend knows it comes with the age territory and knows he's finding things a bit hard at the mo but still when it happened again I had to leave.

ahhh mikado hang in there, your absolutely right it does come with the territory and he absolutely will grow out of it. I'm glad your friend was understanding

mikado no need to blush, you're actively trying to prevent it, and you've conquered it once, so clearly you are doing the right thing. Dd went to a playgroup with a dc like yours, and nobody was judging the mum as we could all see she was dealing with it. except for the pfb mum who was even then denying her pinching child's more dishonest crocodile tears when another dc retaliated. The only time I've seen sensible, normal parents get annoyed is when the parent isn't doing anything or is excusing it.

Thanks both for your kindness and understanding. I cannot stand it and he is a dote the rest of the time so hate the thought of him putting people off him by doing it.

as lurked said, no decent person will hold it against him, all little ones go through phases of one sort or another - DD1 used to scream and take her clothes off if they got even a tiny bit wet - once in a supermarket carpark, whipped her dress off before I could stop her

It's only those who suffer from PFB syndrome who would ever react negatively - take comfort in that it won't be long before their 18 month old is also a toddler getting up to everything including hitting, biting etc and they will learn the error of their ways haha!

Yes, you have described one friend alright!! 10 months younger. Came away from our last meet up feeling like a complete failure. That was nearly a year ago and I purposely avoided meeting up since.

I've been there, and it sucks. Friends like that aren't worth the bother if you ask me! I bet her DC is an absolute nightmare now

It's only those who suffer from PFB syndrome who would ever react negatively

for me with first and second child it's not so much the incident but how it's handled that decides whether it's met with negative or positive reactions.

Biting, scratching and hitting is not normal acceptable behaviour for a child. A child in the phase should be supervised.

DD scratched another child once, while she was being closely supervised at nursery. It wasn't a phase, it was a one off,completely out of character and the staff were as shocked as I was.

Kids can do crazy stuff at times. Which is why you can't leave toddlers alone in soft play.

I've known kids come out of soft play having crawled through someone elses sick.

Yy to the screaming hulla. Dd didn't strip though, she instead shouted out what was bothering her in a voice worthy of an army parade ground. Along with flaring nostrils and the sudden appearance of a monobrow. An excellent quality for keeping your toddlers misbehaviour unnoticed
mikado few toddlers don't have some form of 'bad' but entirely age appropriate habit. And it takes a special kind of smug for any parent to think it's down to their wonderful skills that their dc has never been inclined to hit/bite etc when it's just luck. My dd certainly didn't keep her hands to herself as a toddler because my superior skills meant she had better morals or a kinder nature than your ds, she just preferred screaming and shouting

special kind of smug perfectly sums it up!

Sorry OP he is 2, you need to be beside him all the time. I stopped going to soft play when I got too pregnant to crawl around after ds (2.5 year age gap) and didnt go back (without a second pair of hands) until the baby was crawling.

The soft play near us (which is the only one I've ever been to) is designed in such a way that you cannot see the children unless they are in the front third. They cannot get out, so you know they're still in there, but you just can't see them.
Would best practice be to follow the children round in the soft play, up to a certain age? And if so what age? I have not been doing this myself so far (dd us three, and I only started taking her recently) but have noticed other parents in there. I sort of assumed it was because either their children were frightened, or they thought they might punch someone. Dd isn't frightened, and I'm 99 per cent sure she wouldn't punch someone (I know you can never say never, etc etc). Last time I did have a vague unease that she was annoying some of the parents in there by trying to engage them in conversation, so it did make me wonder.
This is a genuine question - I'd really like to know whether I should be in there, or can be relaxing with a coffee.

I followed ds round until he was old enough to get round unaided and/or defend himself! He is almost 3. If we go during school holidays I go in as the bigger kids can play a bit too rough for toddlers. I like it when he befriends a slightly older kid who think he's cute and he will join in their games. I have also taught him to come and get me if anyone pushes. I do watch and go in if I haven't spotted him for a couple of minutes.

Short of standing a metre from him at all times I've not much chance of constant supervision.

Is there a reason that you cannot stand that close to him? And if so, then how do you expect other parents to manage it?

I am with the other posters who say you should have been supervising him at 2. You should have been right next to him. That is normal parenting at that age.