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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect my child to be safe at parties and soft play?

67 replies

snakesandbastards · 06/09/2015 10:22

This has probably been done to death before, but I am just sick of the lack of supervision from parents and soft play owners.

DS2 (2) now has 3 big scratches on his cheek from some child (he was behind a pillar so he slipped out of sight) at a party yesterday and was pushed over by some older boys (around 6) at soft play despite the upper age limit being 4!

I know this isn't unusual and shoving isn't unusual either but scratching?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 06/09/2015 11:03

I think the OP is complaining that the boys who were 'aged around 6', were in the 4 and under area.

The thing is, they could well have been aged 4 and just big for their age.

Also, a 2yr old is just as likely (if not more so) to get scratched/pushed over by kids their own age or similar.

Lurkedforever1 · 06/09/2015 11:04

You need to watch them, that's all there is to it. And then if another dc is actually doing something they shouldn't, you can prevent it happening again.
Dd once shoved a smaller child over who was about to get on the slide in the toddler area and got on herself. Smaller childs irate mummy was not impressed at my at least 6yr old shoving her nearly 4 year old about. I told her that having observed her dc on several occasions push infront of, or snatch from my dd, I wasn't suprised my just turned 3yr old had eventually got annoyed and done it back to take her rightful turn on the slide. Something irate mummy wasn't aware of, partly through making assumptions on age, but mainly through not watching her child.

Toffeelatteplease · 06/09/2015 11:17

Children do not learn boundaries at soft play. They are more likely to learn what isn't seen tends to be got away with.

BrandNewAndImproved · 06/09/2015 11:18

I'm the exact opposite of a helicopter parent. I sit outside the park and read a book whilst the dc get on with it.

I also wouldn't of left a two year old at a party and I'm in the beign neglect group of parenting. At two years old they shouldn't of been left unsupervised by you and they shouldn't of been in the older dc part of it.

Original poster

snakesandbastards · 06/09/2015 11:26

3 scratches do not equal scratched 3 times! Last time I looked the hand had 4 fingers! Should be glad it wasn't 4 scratches. He just went out of sight for a couple of minutes. Short of standing a metre from him at all times I've not much chance of constant supervision. I do however watch him carefully if he is in view in these situations.

I'm just annoyed at his whole left cheek being scratched.

The point is don't other parents tell their children not to scratch?

DS most certainly does have plenty of bruises and scrapes from falling and climbing so I don't expect him to escape childhood unscathed!

Toffee. Biting, scratching and hitting is not normal acceptable behaviour for a child. A child in the phase should be supervised.

The boys in soft play were definitely not big 4 year olds unless their language level was also that of 6 year olds too. Their mother completely ignored the fact her children shouldn't have been there.

Soft play is definitely a war zone but DS loves it. ..........roll on nursery!

OP posts:

Original poster

snakesandbastards · 06/09/2015 11:28

Where did I say I left him at a party?? I was with the other adults enduring hell on earth and he went behind a pillar (it was in a church hall) for a couple of minutes!

I guess I should be glad he didn't come crying to me but just got on with it.

OP posts:

Branleuse · 06/09/2015 11:28

I understand OP. I was also very precious about my firstborn :)

OneDay103 · 06/09/2015 11:30

But if he was out of YOUR sight then you have no one else to point fingers at. Parents do tell kids not to scratch but do they always listen?

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 06/09/2015 11:31

The thing is, you don't know for sure that he didn't hit anyone when out of sight. In the same way that tother parents weren't aware their child has hurt someone

Original poster

snakesandbastards · 06/09/2015 11:44

I guess it will heal and I'll just have to develop X-ray vision

Dh did say he will have to teach DS to fight back! But that's a whole other topic!

OP posts:

Toffeelatteplease · 06/09/2015 11:46

Toffee. Biting, scratching and hitting is not normal acceptable behaviour for a child. A child in the phase should be supervised

I never said it was acceptable behaviour!

However most parents have no idea there little diddims does it! (And don't believe you when you tell them)

Lurkedforever1 · 06/09/2015 11:49

My dd had the language of an older child along with her height, and that in my opinion is more common amongst 4yr olds than being her height.

My dd wasn't a biter/ hitter/ shover either. She'd retaliate though if pushed enough. She didn't skip the biting/ hitting stage due to my wonderful or superior parenting, she just never did it. In the same way some toddlers go through that phase despite having involved and capable parents. Yes good parents are vigilant when they know their dc are going through that phase. But there's a first time for everything, not to mention lots of dc like mine who will retaliate. Funnily enough I found the known biters/ hitters etc, or those suprising their parents by suddenly taking it up, weren't ever an issue. It was always the precious, my child can do no wrong types that caused the problems.

WorraLiberty · 06/09/2015 11:49

The point is don't other parents tell their children not to scratch?

Errm yes but surely you don't think no children scratch ever, because their parents told them not to?

Sirzy · 06/09/2015 11:51

So he was scratched once then, not right but not quite the same as the implication from your first post ig happened multiple times.

This is why I don't take DS to soft play anymore!

EmeraldKitten · 06/09/2015 11:53

but I am just sick of the lack of supervision from parents

Tbh op that's a bit rich considering you have no idea how your 2 year old got the scratches.

How do you know your precious darling didn't get them from an 18 month old, after he pushed them over?

You don't. 2 year olds should be supervised closely at these places and you're asking for trouble if you don't.

SoupDragon · 06/09/2015 11:59

One day, you are going to discover that children don't always behave as you would like.

Your DS got scratched whilst out of your sight for a couple of minutes.
A child could have scratched whilst out of their parent's sight for a couple of minutes.

Even 6 year olds don't always listen and remember what they're meant to be doing.

SoupDragon · 06/09/2015 12:00

How do you know your precious darling didn't get them from an 18 month old, after he pushed them over?

A very valid point.

honkinghaddock · 06/09/2015 12:05

Ds is a biter and hitter when he gets upset so he is always closely supervised. What annoys me is when parents let toddlers unsupervised in the older sections, who then follow us around and annoy ds.

jamdonut · 06/09/2015 12:07

Also, not all scratches are on purpose! It may have happened when a child lost his balance and just grabbed at the nearest thing...which happened to be your child!

These things happen. It's not always someone's fault!

shutupanddance · 06/09/2015 12:08

You should of been supervising more closely, hes 2.

Writtenbyme · 06/09/2015 12:09

My DD was about 2 she another child at a soft play launched himself on her and pinched her face so it bled. I was a couple of metres away. The child's mother smacked him on the bum then took him to play on the other side of the room. Probably forgotten by them in minutes.

DD is now a teen with a thumb nail shaped scar on her cheek.

I still feel bitter, but I cannot see what I could have done differently as I was right by her.

hullabaloo234 · 06/09/2015 12:11

I really struggle to get het up about these things to be honest, I'm more the 'oh dear,never mind' and carry on with what we are doing type to dwell about inconsequential bumps and scratches. Your DC will receive (and dish out!) plenty more in the next 3 years or so I'm afraid!

Gruntfuttock · 06/09/2015 12:12

You said you 2 yr old was out of sight for a couple of minutes. That's quite a long time IMO.

Original poster

snakesandbastards · 06/09/2015 12:31

I have applied for my helicopter parent licence

OP posts:

shutupanddance · 06/09/2015 12:58

At 2 that really isn't helicopter parenting. You can't complain if you aren't watching him at all times.

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