Where did this conversation go wrong? is it me or him??

[WykeSprite]

Came in from a night out with DP last night. Had a bit to drink but both relatively sober.

He sits down and puts on a documentry about Kate Bush.

I sit next to him and watch it with him.

After half an hour or so I start up the following conversation:

me: "I don't really get Kate Bush - I mean, I don't get why she's so famous and everyone thinks she's so amazing ... "

him: "well, they don't. you're watching a documentry on her so obviously they'll all be saying positive things."

me: "oh yeah I know, I'm just saying in general I just can't understand why she's as big as she is, I mean what is special about her?"

him: "oh well I'll turn it off then."

me: "??? no I'm not saying turn it off! I'm just saying I don't get it ... "

him: "yeah well you don't like anything I like so I'll just turn it off."

me: "I'm not wanting an argument over it! I was just trying to start up a conversation!"

him: "well it's a trend with you isn't it, anything I like you don't like so I might as well just turn it off."

----

I'm really, REALLY considering giving up on this relationship because this is the kind of response I get whenever I express an opnion or try and start up a conversation. It's walking on egg shells all the time. I've just tried to speak to him about it now and he said I should have approached it more diplomatically. I asked for an example and he suggested:

"You like Kate Bush Don't you? I much prefer ((insert artist here)) as ((insert reason here)) "

I mean is that really what relationships are about? a systematic approach to conversation??

I'm ready for the truth here. Tell it to me straight, is it me or him?

[Whathaveilost]

I think the question needs to be asked is why is she walking on egg shells. It's not necessary a red flag that he is abusive or anything. As a side I went through this about 10 years ago and the atmosphere was terrible but it was due to circumstances beyond Dhs control. It wasn't down to anything I was doing or saying.
However it could be - not saying it is, that the OP is getting on her partners nerves everytime xhe speaks. She could have got into a negative cycle without realising. Or he could just be a grumpy git. I dont know.

Anyway what's wrong in watching a programme without talking? Plenty of time to chat in the ad breaks or when it finishes. Even the boys since they were very young used to sit and watch what they wanted and then turn the tv off when programme was finished. You discuss stuff after.

[Lweji]

It's not wrong to watch in silence or talking. I wouldn't be upset by either.

[nooka]

LittleLion the OP said that she asked her DP how she might have spoken instead, it wasn't an unsolicited suggestion.

Regardless of the rights and wrongs it may just be that the OP and her DP aren't very compatible. Could just be that she is a bit too direct for him and he is a bit to sensitive for her.

[LittleLionMansMummy]

That's why I'd like to know more nooka - at the moment we're all speculating because the op hasn't come back.

[2rebecca]

If I want to talk I talk, if I want to watch TV I watch TV. I don't do telly as background music. If someone starts talking I turn the TV down so I can hear them and concentrate on what they are saying. Or tell them to shut up as I'm watching the TV.