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To think this was the most embarrassing conversation ever and I can never show my face at school again.

161 replies

Pheobe1 · 02/09/2015 17:34

I was in Asda when my phone rang, the conversation went as follows.

Head teacher "Hello, is that Mrs Pheobe"

Me "yes"

HT "I have something to discuss. In all my years in teaching I have never had to have this conversation with a parent. I really don't know where to start"

Me Okaaay, what is the problem?

HT "I really don't know what to say"

Me "perhaps you should just say it"

HT "Well, I had a child come to my office today with an object that had been put in his bag by your ds".

Me "what was it"

HT "a very large sex toy"

Blush Blush Blush

I asked if ds had said where he got it from all the while praying mine was still in my bedside drawer
HT said that DS had said he got it from his younger DBro but in his opinion ds must have ordered it from the internet. I disagreed, ds is far too tight to spend his own money on such a thing plus I would have seen the parcel.

Came home checked bedside table DSs internet history, nothing suspicious. Checked his FB messages and found a conversation with a school friend saying he had a dildo that his little brother had found.

DS came home, we had the conversation Grin he was mortified and agreed he had been a prat.

He insisted he had taken it off his 10 year db after finding him playing with it in the garden Shock. I questioned younger ds about wether he had found anything unusual that elder ds had taken off him. Younger ds claimed to know nothing. Dragged elder ds back in and said your brother doesn't know what your talking about.

Elder ds says "you know, remember the blue snake". Oh yes the blue snake says younger ds," I didn't find it, Dsis did at the park and she gave it to me".

Drag 8 year old DD in and explain that she shouldn't pick up things when she doesn't know what they are. "But I did know mummy it was a super soft squidgy snake thing".

FFS, I need to bleach all of my dc and send the younger two to a differant school don't I.

I can never show my face in that school again.

OP posts:

Cat2014 · 02/09/2015 17:36

Sorry but


SingingSands · 02/09/2015 17:37

Shock maybe put the house on the market as well...!


ArmfulOfRoses · 02/09/2015 17:37

You know that the ht will never believe that, don't you?


ImperialBlether · 02/09/2015 17:37

Eek! But I don't understand - was it yours?


Treasures · 02/09/2015 17:38


I strongly advise setting light to your entire existence as this can never be recovered from.



FoxesSitOnBoxes · 02/09/2015 17:38

Ahahahaha! You know the HT thinks it was yours and is telling all her friends about it Grin


Bollicks · 02/09/2015 17:39

So I assume your emigrating, OP? To the moon?


londonrach · 02/09/2015 17:39

Grin. Sorry op i just laughted very loudly! Scrub away op. Dread to think what else they picked up in the area with the blue snake. Any 'balloons'? (Remembers a conversation about a 'balloon' on a path...)


Spartans · 02/09/2015 17:39

Oh dear! I think you need to move areas too Wink

Tbf it would have been worse if it was yours Grin


Andrewofgg · 02/09/2015 17:40

What Cat2014 and Treasures said only more so!


Pooseyfrumpture · 02/09/2015 17:40

So your defence will be "it wasn't mine, guv HT, DD DS1 DS2 found it in the park"

Yeah Hmm sure, she's going to buy that Grin


SuburbanRhonda · 02/09/2015 17:40

You really need to just front this out.

If anyone mentions it, just say, "I know, I've told him numerous times not to bring anything in from home unless it's Show and Tell. Kids, eh?"

Then change the subject Smile


BrendaandEddie · 02/09/2015 17:40

i dont understand


coffeeisnectar · 02/09/2015 17:41

Omg!! Mortifying but hilarious!!!


Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 02/09/2015 17:41

Ha ha ha ha ha. PMSL. Here. I bet your mortified.
Sorry for laughing. That is hilarious.


noiwontstoptalking · 02/09/2015 17:41

Brazen it out.

"My children think that it was a snake? Are you sure it's not a snake?"


AGnu · 02/09/2015 17:41

"But I did know mummy it was a super soft squidgy snake thing".

Perfect logic! Grin


Collaborate · 02/09/2015 17:42

Is it too early to nominate this thread for Classics?


GloriaHotcakes · 02/09/2015 17:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

patienceisvirtuous · 02/09/2015 17:43



Ratbagcatbag · 02/09/2015 17:44

Proper tears here. I'd move them schools immediately. And lock up my "toys" just in case it ever happened again.


KanyeWestPresidentForLife · 02/09/2015 17:44

Tell the HT that it's a big blue squashy snake and he just has a dirty mind.


Pheobe1 · 02/09/2015 17:45

I have just e mailed the HT apologised again and explained where it came from but no, he is never going to believe me.

Dh works in a school and agrees that no I wont be believed and yes it will be the talk of the staff room for a very long time.

OP posts:

confusedandemployed · 02/09/2015 17:46

I LOL'd too. You win most embarrassing story on MN EVER Grin


Gruntfuttock · 02/09/2015 17:47

Weird [confused

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