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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put a grevience in about work colleague (Facebook)

125 replies

MsJamieFraser · 30/08/2015 07:16

I'm on the sick from work, but told no one except my bosses why I've had to go on sick leave.

Colleague put this on Facebook (photo) and as I am the only one on sick leave.... It not rock science who it's aimed at.

We also have a social media policy,

However it did not stop there, she went out last night and bumped into my friends and was slatting me to them, (and tagged them in a post saying it was a good catch up, clearly aimed at me)

Friends immediately rang me and said they are furious with her and they have had to leave the pub as she was really nasty about me going on sick leave.

AIBU put a grevience in, and also a grevience in about the lack of confidentiality in my work place

To put a grevience in about work colleague (Facebook)
OP posts:
WhatamessIgotinto · 30/08/2015 07:21

She'll just deny she said anything. Or that her FB post was directed at you. (I can't see your pic so I don't know what it was). I would be tempted to speak to your boss about confidentiality in the first instance, you might find that if she's spoken to by your boss she'll brick it and stop. She sounds a right cow.

BlueMoonRising · 30/08/2015 07:24

Yanbu to put a grievance in about your colleague. That's put behaviour

I don't see anything in your post to support the allegation regards lack of confidentiality in your workplace though. Might it not have been your friends that said?

TheHouseOnTheLane · 30/08/2015 07:24

YANBU. They will know it was aimed at you if nobody else was sick...AND if her leave was changed.

Complain. People like her need pulling up.

BlueMoonRising · 30/08/2015 07:27

Ignore me, I read that as told no one at work but my bosses.

Did you put in a sick line? It may have gone to someone other than your bosses to deal with. Still a very poor show.

confusedandemployed · 30/08/2015 07:28

I think I would talk to my manager about it (first stage of putting in a grievance). I agree she needs pulling up on it, the bitch.

ShooBeeDooBeeDoo · 30/08/2015 07:29

I agree. Complain.

She's being a spiteful bitch.

Original poster
MsJamieFraser · 30/08/2015 07:30

Sorry the Facebook comment was made a few days ago, then last night she tagged my friends saying it was a good catch up.

My friends really dislike her, and were furious she tagged them in a comment as it was clearly aimed to get my back up.

She's had a written warning about this before, when a colleague went on the sick after trying to end her life and she put on Facebook it was all done for attention...

I've deleted her

OP posts:
Original poster
MsJamieFraser · 30/08/2015 07:30

No I directly handed my sick line to my general manager, I'm off with acute stress.

OP posts:
Lilaclily · 30/08/2015 07:31

Definitely complain

If your friends 'really dislike Her' why do they go drinking with her ?

southeastdweller · 30/08/2015 07:33

I would report it. It won't lead to the cosiest of atmosphere's but I agree with a p.p that people like her need pulling up.

Original poster
MsJamieFraser · 30/08/2015 07:35

Me going on sick has not affected her at all, my hours were given to another member of staff.... All contracted 10 of them.... The member of staff is now doing 15 hours instead of her contracted 5 which she is happy about. So I've no idea why she's saying this.

I'm leaving and not going back, but I feel she needs to be pulled on her behaviour, as she keeps posting message things like no one will shut her up, she only speaks her mind etc...

OP posts:
southeastdweller · 30/08/2015 07:35

I think it was a mistake you deleting her, by the way.

Eva50 · 30/08/2015 07:36

I would speak to your manager first. Something like this won't help your stress.

PegsPigs · 30/08/2015 07:36

Her friends bumped into this woman. Please read the original post.

If you are suffering from stress leaving this unresolved is likely to cause you more stress and of she has form and you have proof with that screenshot YWNBU to take this further

Original poster
MsJamieFraser · 30/08/2015 07:37

They didn't lilycilly she bumped into my friends who were out.

OP posts:
Lilaclily · 30/08/2015 07:38

Oh I see sorry

Original poster
MsJamieFraser · 30/08/2015 07:39

I've deleted her and then my Facebook altogether) took screen shots and have the messages from my friends of them telling me what she was saying about me.

OP posts:
chairmeoh · 30/08/2015 07:40

Definitely report this. And then try to leave it for your manager to deal with while you forget about it.
Hope you're soon on the road to recovery.

LosingTheWillToSkate · 30/08/2015 07:43

If you being off hasn't affected her then is there not a chance that her status is nothing to do with you?

If you and your friends don't like her then why are you all Facebook friends?

If someone being off has affected her leave then I think it's pretty understandable for her to be annoyed. I probably wouldn't post about it on Facebook, but I'm sure that unless your posts or profile identify specific people or where you work then there's not a great deal that anyone can do.

If my friend was off with acute stress, the last thing I would do would be to call them up and tell them something likely to add to their stress.

All sounds a bit overdramatic really.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 30/08/2015 07:46

Report her. If she has the hassle of dealing with a complaint it might make her think twice before facebooking. It won't stop her being a bitch though.

Ripeningapples · 30/08/2015 07:52

From HR's point of view, she's a pain and a difficult employee, but there's nothing in what you have written that provides sufficient direct evidence to do anything about it. If you raise a grievance, it has to be investigated. The chances are that with someone like this, who makes people's lives a misery, your colleagues will all slither under the radar when it comes to being interviewed and say they can see both sides and it isn't explicit. If the grievance investigation doesn't unearth hard facts then there's nowhere to take a disciplinary.

You will go through all that additional stress and it is most likely to lead nowhere. In all my years in HR I've only seen one grievance lead to a disciplinary. In all the rest the recommendations are usually: mediation, support over various aspects of the job and regular line management meetings. There isn't really any more - it all comes down to he said, she said, interpretation and sensitivity.

What would concern me more, however, are the reasons for your acute stress. Are they work or home related or a combination of the two? How long are you signed off for and what has your company done to support you about that now that you have told your managers. Ideally you should have been sent some information about helplines and offered OHP and a consultation meeting with HR about what can be done to help you back to work. Of that meeting is the opportunity to raise your concerns informally and results in a quiet word with the managers and some support at that level being put in behind the scenes.

Can I ask what your general attendance record is like? It really does irk people if their colleagues are off regularly and it's all dealt with as a big secret. In my experience honesty is always the best policy and people are much more sympathetic when colleagues are straight with them.

Original poster
MsJamieFraser · 30/08/2015 07:53

I haven't told anyone I am on sick leave so my friends did not know I was on sick.

friends have a history with this woman.

I had heard stories of her doing this (previous warning) but had no reason dislike her.... Until her comments were being aimed at me, in which I've the deleted her and I thought best for me to them deleted my profile altogether, for the moment anyway.
I am the only one who is on sick leave also with a "unprovable" illness at work.

Also she's put her employment status on her profile, and in the

OP posts:
Original poster
MsJamieFraser · 30/08/2015 07:59

Sorry my iPhone keeps jumping.

As for work helping me, they rolled their eyes when I gave them the sick note. It's a vile place to work for and as for them supporting me I'm more likely to get support from a chocolate fire guard.

I went on the sick when I first started some 10 months back due to planned surgery for 6 weeks, however this was known about at my interview, I worked for about 5 weeks then went to have 2 surgeries 3 weeks apart.

However this was 10 months ago.

OP posts:
WhatamessIgotinto · 30/08/2015 08:23

Unfortunately 'unseen' illnesses are often not taken seriously. I hear it in my own place of work with people bitching about a colleague about her 'depression' (fingers doing the quote marks). It's horrible. Unfortunately in your situation, because you're a relatively new employee, you'll get it in spades.

Ripeningapples · 30/08/2015 09:01

That's one heck of a lot of absence in ten months. What's causing your acute stress? Sadly, unless you have a disability covered by the Equality Act, I'd be recommending your termination before you have accrued employment rights. Has a proper probation been conducted?