To put a grevience in about work colleague (Facebook)

[MsJamieFraser]

I'm on the sick from work, but told no one except my bosses why I've had to go on sick leave.

Colleague put this on Facebook (photo) and as I am the only one on sick leave.... It not rock science who it's aimed at.

We also have a social media policy,

However it did not stop there, she went out last night and bumped into my friends and was slatting me to them, (and tagged them in a post saying it was a good catch up, clearly aimed at me)

Friends immediately rang me and said they are furious with her and they have had to leave the pub as she was really nasty about me going on sick leave.

AIBU put a grevience in, and also a grevience in about the lack of confidentiality in my work place

Your surgery was known about at interview stage.
It is absolutely none of your colleagues ' business why you are absent now.

If you've taken screen shots and aren't reliant on your friends backing you up I would certainly take this further.

I'm leaving the job, I have a new job.

People have a legal right to need time off for medical reasons. I disagree that it is a lot of absences its one absence for 6 weeks in total covered by a hospital sick note. They knew this even before they employed me that I needed the surgery.

It's by the by anyway and totally irrelevant to my OP.

If no one knows you're off sick (can't understand this - in my office you often don't know the illness, but all absence is openly recorded as holiday, sickness, parental leave etc) then this woman's post can't be related to you can it?

If what you meant was no one knows WHY you're off sick, then again how is this woman's post directed at you?

If you lodge a grievance that is so clearly unprovable against someone you openly dislike, I really don't think it will do you any favours. As an employer, I'd be very pf someone signed off with work related stress then lodging a grievance in these circumstances.

Why not concentrate on looking for another job, as clearly you don't enjoy working there?

Ilovesooty

I don't need there back up, frankly also I don't feel I need their back up, because frankly all the screen shots are black and white, and with the social media policy contract we signed it should be evidence enough.

What do you do as a job and why is it so stressful if you are only contracted 10 hours a week? That is an awful lot of sick time given how long you've been there. If you are going to leave anyway then why don't you just leave, instead of going off with stress? You can't really blame people for being irritated if you have spend almost as much time off and you've actually worked, but she is being childish for plastering passive aggressive comments all over facebook and discussing it with others.

The OP has a new job.
I'm disappointed by how many people seem to think she should just suck this treatment up quite honestly.

oh sorry just seen it was one continuous absence of six weeks, I thought it was two.

As I said, if you don't need their back up and you have the proof - go for it.

Using social media is part of my day to day job and I would advise anyone, no matter how great they think their colleagues are, to keep facebook confined to non-work friends.

I don't have any colleagues on any of my social media be that Facebook or Twitter.

In my experience, it's very easy for situations like the OPs to get completely out of hand and I've been involved in two very distressing complaints where Facebook comments completely wrecked a colleague's hard earned reputation (think drunken night out with colleagues plastered all over Facebook).

Some of the responses on this thread illustrate exactly why people think it's acceptable to treat people with stress and depression so awfully.

Some of you need to have a word with yourselves.

Thankyou Ilovesooty Im surprised people think its OK also.

I may be contracted to work 10 hours, however that does not mean I work 10 hours. I may work less or much more as its a business needs contract, so basically a 0 hour contract only I accrue annual leave, so I then get holiday pay to 10 hours a week.

If people read my OP, they know I am on sick leave but have no idea why I am on sick leave, but yet it appears this has become common knowledge, actually I know its common knowledge and colleague made it clear to friends that everyone knew why I was off, hence why friends phoned me.

That is also the reason I want to complain about confidentiality, because only my general manager knew of the reason why I went on sick leave, why was the reason for going on the sick was even discussed? or be allowed to be made known.

I'm off for acute stress for a multitude of reasons. Its not something I feel the need to discuss here tbh, That's for me, my family and the medical services I've reached out too, to get me through it.

Good luck with it all.

I know what it's like to have your confidentiality broken. I returned from extended sick leave to be told on the first day by a year 10 class "We know you had a breakdown. We're going to make sure you have another one".

I hope you're successful in your grievance.

There is a total lack of understanding about work related stress. I was what you might call a disbeliever until I experienced it earlier this year.

I never thought I'd be the sort of person affected by stress at work but it happened to me and it was awful. It was like a black fog I couldn't get out of.

I hope you feel better soon OP and in your next job keep Facebook private and don't invite any colleagues onto it.

You aren't making sense OP.

If she was slagging you off for being sick to your friends then they did know. Only someone thirsty for drama would think it appropriate to then rush to call you and tell you all about it.

Granted, your employers knew about your surgery. But to have 6 weeks off and then another presumably long term period of sickness when you've worked somewhere for 10 months doesn't reflect well, and your colleagues probably will make judgements. It's kind of hypocritical for you to be complaining that someone might have told people you're off sick, but you seem to expect to know everyone else who is off.

A social media policy can't prevent people from posting on Facebook. Her post isn't directed at anyone in particular.

I still maintain that its bizzare having people on Facebook who not only are you not friends with, but you don't even like. That goes for you and your so called friends who just happened to bump into her, stick around for long enough for her to have a bitch about you and then be tagged in statuses about their night out by her.

Honestly, if all you have to complain about is that one status then it will never go anywhere. What's happened between her and other people is none of your business. It will add to your stress short term during the process and long term when nothing happens.

Well I agree that they do not need to know why you are sick, and if you only told your bosses then perhaps they are the ones who have breached confidentiality. Obviously this woman thinks she knows the reason so someone has been gossiping.

honestly, walk away and start your new job.

I did not want anyone knowing why I was off sick for stress because in my work environment going of for these reasons has negative responses, and are made to feel as if they are mental, and treat them as such.

They are made fun of, and then the jokes start.../ bullying is allowed to go on, as apparently it's just banter.

A social media policy can certainly prevent them from posting as they did.

I'm genuinely appalled at how little support the OP is getting here.

I am inclined to agree with Losing I have no idea why you are so stressed and whether it's purely work related or due to external reasons, but I would totally disengage from people who go in for petty gossip and he said/she said type dramas and learn to separate your owrk life from your personal life. These crossovers (especially on social media) are fraught with pitfalls. It seems that that in itself is probably as much a cause of stress as anything else.

Do your new employers know that you are currently off with stress? Are you going to have to disclose it to them?

Does your social media policy center around not bringing the company into disrepute, or is there a clause that stops postings about colleagues?

It sounds like an awful place to work and I'm sorry that you're feeling so stressed that you've been signed off. Others knowing won't have helped that.

Check the policy wording to see if there is a clear breach. If there is, it's probably worth the grievance. If there's not, I'd try and let the status go, because you don't need the additional stress.

If you are not going back, then will raising a grievance cause you more or less stress? Forget about her and what she deserves. Think about what is better for you.

Are you definitely leaving? 100% as if not returning to work after stress can be difficult. It may make it harder if she has not been pulled into line but otoh it may make it harder if you have a gostile situation to deal with.

I would maybe have a quiet word eith manager pointing out fb post and saying this is not helpful. Try to find out if she has bed told why you are off but stop short of raising an actual grievance.

Her post could only bring the company into disrepute if she's identified as working there. Mine gives no info at all.

There's nothing linking her post with anyone she works with. For all we know it could be someone at her husband's work that she's referring to.

It all seems very petty and dramatic.

I dont understand where I am not making sense tbh.

My colleague knew I was on the sick, but should not have known the reason why, friends did not know I was on the sick, until colleague told them, colleague tagged friends in a Facebook post saying she enjoyed "catching" up with them, that's when friends phoned me, because they knew she done this to get to me.

All of this lasted about 10 mins, friends left the pub as colleague was being nasty. this was when they seen the post and phoned me.

I have never once said I do not like this colleague, I've actually known her for years, we have mutual friends, so she is sometimes at gatherings/lunches etc... However I have now taken a dislike to her over the course of a week.

My friends have history with this lady. (I don't want to say any more in case of outing) colleague made a beeline for them in the pub they were in, they did not nor want to engage in conversation with colleague.

Friends are coming to me today, because frankly they are concerned I have not told them what's going on in my life. However because of the natures of why I am off, its not an easy topic to speak about.

because of the type of social media contract we have signed, this could in effect get her sacked, due to her previous written warning about social media use.

she wont with our management mind, but would if I took this to HR.

There is much more detail in the screen shots, however I have not posted them due to others being identified, she does not have a husband.

I do not think this is petty.

My role in my work makes me know who is on sick leave or not, I am currently the only one who is on the sick. losing so please stop making assumptions you know nothing about.

I do not understand why you need to know the exact nature of why I have been signed off by my GP with acute stress tbh.

It probably does seem petty and dramatic if it's not aimed at YOU.

op I'd draw a lounge under it and relax before your new job starts. You never have to speak to these dullards again! ! Don't make contact of your own volition! What a crappy workplace that is.