Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In finding it hard to believe people let their young kids take up seats on trains when adults are standing

349 replies

gatorgolf · 28/08/2015 22:54

Never get the train anymore, first time today in about 10 yrs got train to take DS to London. Train home was really really busy people standing in all the aisles as well as the doorways. We sat DS who is 5 on our knee as I thought that was the done thing when train busy. Family near us had two kids, one about the same age as DS, one slightly older maybe 6 or 7, kids had a seat each for the entire journey. I know its not comfortable to have kids on your knee for long time but its more comfortable than having to stand, there was 4 adults in there party so they could have taken the knee sitting in turns or even made the kids squeeze onto one seat to free one up.

OP posts:
greenwichjelly · 29/08/2015 16:46

Giles, your 4-year-old travels for free. She should therefore be moved to sit on your knee when a paying adult requires a seat. Nothing to do with anyone's manners or perception, it's part of the conditions of carriage.

You have NOT paid for a seat for a 4-year old. Therefore, you need to move her if an adult needs to sit down. End of.

Gileswithachainsaw · 29/08/2015 16:46

I move. She has my seat.

Itsmine · 29/08/2015 16:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

greenwichjelly · 29/08/2015 16:47

And nobody would be "turfing your 4-year old out of her seat", Giles, because you should bloody well have the manners to move her yourself.

Gileswithachainsaw · 29/08/2015 16:48

As I said I move.

gamerchick · 29/08/2015 17:42

Simmering quite nicely this thread isn't it? Grin

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 29/08/2015 17:43

I bet the train companies are loving this... divide and conquer and all that.

How about... everyone who has bought a valid train ticket deserves SPACE on the train?

Here are a few things:

  1. If you want an allocated seat, you pay for it. if you want your under 4 to travel for free, you accept that said child MAY have to travel on your lap.
  1. Season ticket holders get designated trains (and, where there is parking, designated parking as part of the price) Certainly in my town (Mainline, commuter belt) the train company has installed a multistory that most season ticket holders can't use because of cost, which clogs the town.
  1. You can reserve a seat (again, especially useful for season ticket holders)

Should we all be nicer to each other? yes... should we all demand a better service from our train providers ?ABSOLUTELY

Gileswithachainsaw · 29/08/2015 17:52

I'm just curious now as to why a child can have a seat sat on someone's lap but If that person decodes to forgo the uncomfortable lap thing and stand themselves while said child occupies seat alone instead it's not acceptable? Grin

if a seat is going to be taken up whatever way round it's done then it's the adult fare holders choice is it not?

Lweji · 29/08/2015 17:55

What Giles said.

Also, OP, are you quite new in MN? :)

ArendelleQueen · 29/08/2015 17:58

It's respectful to give healthy able-bodied people a seat on public transport while a child wobbles around?! Hmm What a load of baloney. I expect my children to give a seat to any person less able to stand than them. A healthy, young able-bodied commuter is not less able to stand.

LilyTucker · 29/08/2015 17:59

Oaps travel for free though and most in their 70s are capable of standing. Thankfully so considering most of our generation will be working well into our 70s. There will be exceptions but there are exceptions with the younger generations too. I doubt any at my dd's OT could travel safely standing up.

Those in their 80s I have more sympathy with. That said I don't think it's that safe for under 6s to be standing. Re buses and tubes my DC are 11 and 10 and can't even reach the straps,you'd be surprised how many adults don't move so they can hold onto a bar. Being smaller they get forgotten in a crush.

ArendelleQueen · 29/08/2015 18:00

I'm surprised some of the people on this thread think children are worthy of using floor space on public transport. Perhaps there should be some sort of storage facility for under 18s?!

Lweji · 29/08/2015 18:01

Arendelle Grin

queenofthishouse · 29/08/2015 18:04

I really wouldnt care if I'd prebooked or not. If there was a spare seat I'd sit my child on it.

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 29/08/2015 18:05

I don't think it is manners to give adults priority over kids. What an odd notion.

Of course if I can squish two to a seat or have a small one on my lap I will. And I have said not only would I offer my seat to those in greater need (including children) but I have many times.

The idea that manners is giving adult needs priority and making children stand to acknowledge adults entering the room is very odd indeed.

Gileswithachainsaw · 29/08/2015 18:07

And on your 18th birthday you can wear a big badge, bring a tray of cakes and declare to the bus/carriage "yes I can sit down now move you bastard 6 yr olds" Grin

CrohnicallyAspie · 29/08/2015 18:07

I think what giles is trying to say is what I said earlier.

Her child is in her seat that she paid for. If the child is going to stand and give anyone a seat, it should be giles!

And what exactly is the difference between giles and child on one seat, or just child on the seat? Why is the first OK but (apparently) not the second?

alltouchedout · 29/08/2015 18:08

My mum was a stickler for manners and respect- she was known amongst my friends as the strictest mum by far. She never expected a child to give up a seat to an adult simply because the latter was an adult. You give your seat to people who need one- being an adult does not make you need one.

That said, simply because we take up a lot of space on public transport (1 or 2 adults, 2 school age children, 1 baby in pram) I will always try and get my children to share a seat or have one on my lap in busier periods. I also always move for wheelchairs, pregnant women, people with disabilities, the elderly, etc. But if someone demanded one of my children give up their seat on the basis that they are an adult and thus more deserving of it, I would refuse on principle. I don't think my children will learn good manners and behaviour by seeing me give in to entitled bullies with an overinflated sense of their own importance, tbh.

Gileswithachainsaw · 29/08/2015 18:08

yy chronically that's it.

Lweji · 29/08/2015 18:11

It should never be about manners but safety. Children are safer on transport if seated. Preferably facing the back of the train or bus.
Not in the middle of standing adults who may fall on them, or crush them or push against them at groin level (bleurgh).
And the parents (often carrying stuff for their child) are entitled to be comfortable and not have a child (often heavy) sit on their lap.

greenwichjelly · 29/08/2015 18:15

Lweji - not according to most companies' conditions of carriage, they're not, which you agree to abide by when you enter into a contract by buying a ticket. If you're not prepared to abide by the rules, then you shouldn't be travelling with them.

Children go on laps. Them's the rules. They haven't paid - no seat. If you don't like it, I suggest you drive.

Gileswithachainsaw · 29/08/2015 18:16

yy lweji

I've witness small children get hurt on public transport bas there were no seats.

The same people who apparently got brought up to have respect or whatever were the same people who sat there and watch the kid struggle, and had the nerve to start tutting when said child got hurt and started crying.

Itsmine · 29/08/2015 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissDuke · 29/08/2015 18:22

Where did the op say that children should stand to allow adults their seat? Confused I don't think anyone would ever suggest that!

Lweji · 29/08/2015 18:22

Well, green, I'd wait for a seat inspector to come. :)
I'd rather give my seat to my child (I do) if there are no available seats.
Very young children are best on laps, otherwise, I have a very low opinion of people who begrudge a child a seat where they can be safer and more comfortable, particularly for longer periods.