Or is DH just tight/old fashioned?

[WyrdByrd]

DD is 11 in a couple of weeks & today I went out birthday shopping for her. She is getting the following:

A basketball
2 pairs of silver earrings
Artemis Fowl book 2
Zoella bubble bath, body lotion & perfume
Paul Frank notecards
Flamingo fairy lights
A £10 'Love to Shop' voucher - there were a few more expensive things on her wishlist that we were a bit about but if she wants to buy them with birthday money from aunts/uncles it'll help out.

She's having 7 friends round for tea on the Friday nearest her birthday - am borrowing a set of 'photo booth' props & they'll probably watch a film & largely amuse themselves. Her best friend is staying over.

We have gone halves on most of her presents (a couple I'd picked up ad hoc earlier on the year) and I will pay for the 'party' food, paper plates etc & party bags.

DH thinks this is all OTT...again.
Every birthday & Christmas we have this argument. I think it's a case of very different upbringings, and admittedly I have got carried away a bit in the past, but I thought I'd been fairly sensible this time .

Any thoughts? Am I an overindulgent spendthrift or a fairly normal mum wanting to give her DD a great birthday?

That's not my point. It isn't the cost of the party. It is the fact that only you are paying.

Splitting finances when you have children just seems so alien to me.

DH and I used to split pro rata based on what we earn. Then we got married and pooled everything. We've had phases where I earn more, where he earns more etc etc. We don't question each others spending as we are both sensible and know what our budget is.

And we would certainly never split expenditure relating to our children. It just comes out of the pot!

It seems a bit excessive to me in terms of volume and price, but I'm clearly in the minority on this thread. I felt profligate spending £15 on a toy caterpillar for DS1's first Christmas though (everything else was charity shopped), so what do I know.

Sorry to go off topic (I don't think you're ott btw!) But where did you buy the zoella perfume and things? My niece would love that

Zoella perfume = superdrug

Thank you.

I think it sounds fine, certainly not excessive in my view. My parents were not well off at all but we always had one main present and lots of little, normally useful, bits (writing sets, pens etc). I hope your DD has a lovely birthday.

Not OTT at all - I've just spent £100 on presents for my DS's birthday (he's a bit older). Birthdays are meant to be special!

Ment to say as well OP that the get together your having for your DD sounds really lovely I hope she really enjoys her birthday.

Thanks holidays . I am a bit concerned about keeping them all under control with so little structure to the occasion, but I know them all fairly well and they are a good bunch of kids so hopefully won't be too much like hard work. DD and DH are off to the footy the following day so at least I'll have some recovery time!

Contessa there's a big difference between 1 and 11! DD only had the one present for her first birthday (paid for by DH ) and very little for her first Christmas. In fact her best loved toy until she was about a year old was a helium balloon.

Re the Zoella stuff - it's all £1 off at the moment and if you're not near a store their delivery is very reasonable and fast.

My DD had a sleepover for her 11th birthday. I let them take over the living room. They slept on the sofas, mats on floor and sleeping bags. They had a great time and fortunately not too rowdy.

My ex would discuss our DD's presents with me, pay half (we had separate bank accounts as he saw the money in the account as his no matter how much was in there) and then on her birthday or Christmas would just after she had opened and was pleased with her present suddenly produce a surprise and there was a games console or the like, not discussed, and just from him. The joint present was then invariably forgotten about. He never ever got how hurtful that was. One of the reasons why he is my ex.

i think thats a nice list this is what my mrs has decided to buy the nearly 4 year old daughter for her birthday

disney store sofia dress
disney store sofia the first

disney store clover
sofia the first necklace disney store
sofia cup
no party but soft play comes to about 85
i always think the mrs goes overboard

I think that's a lovely selection of things I'd even be temped to throw some new socks and a box of chocolates in too. (My fave things to receive)

If it helps to compare my DD is ten and just had a birthday and got:
A soft toy of "bing bong" from inside out.
New converse.
Little mix perfume.
Small lush box.
New PJs.
Roller boots.
Tickets to go and see Annie.
Which when all wrapped up didn't really look much but I knew it was enough

didn't want to get more as that would have used up all my options for Christmas. So yeah I do think your DH is being a little on the tight side, but I think your list is lovely and the plans for the party sound great too.