Pregnant woman buying cigarettes

[RevsDeCub]

I need to settle this debate. I am nearly 38 weeks pregnant & was nipping to the shop on my way home so phoned DP to ask did he want anything. Meaning a drink or a snack...
He asks me to buy him some cigarettes to which I point blank refuse and he goes into a bit of a strop that I won't get him some - I did smoke before pregnancy & we used to buy each other cigarettes if we were at the shop but obviously I don't smoke now! He says he 'doesn't know what the big deal is as they're not for me'.
I couldn't believe he would even ask me to buy some!! My argument is as I am heavily pregnant in my early 20s and there might even be a risk of me getting asked for ID (challenge 25 everywhere) which is embarrassing enough, but whilst pregnant I look like a terrible person for buying them. I will buy beer even though I'm not drinking it, but I see that as being slightly different.
I don't mind buying cigarettes if I'm not pregnant, so it's not that side of things it's the fact I don't want people to think I'm a heavily pregnant woman who smokes especially when I've done so well to give up cold turkey!

FYI, he is giving up smoking once baby comes as I've told him I am not letting our child be exposed to third hand smoke... But... AIBU?

[ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight]

Yanbu! It's different buying alcohol as it's more likely that you're buying for other people but I'd always assume a person buying fags was buying for themselves and I wouldn't want to be judged.

Also your partner is blatantly not going to quit when the baby is born. Just saying.

[LazyLohan]

Actually, I'm going to go against the grain and YANBU and this thread definitely demonstrates why. You've already had several judgemental comments about secondary smoke etc. People do judge. I've seen enough posts here and elsewhere to know that there is a lot of judgement towards women who it's even thought possible might be smoking when pregnant.

It had the potential to put you in an uncomfortable situation with people staring and tut tutting. Just for the sake of him not being bothered to get off his arse and walk to the corner shop.

[StonedGalah]

Yanbu. I wouldn't buy them even if l wasn't pregnant. You are due literally any day and he's still smoking? He won't give up mark my words

[PosterEh]

YANBU.

[TheWatchersCouncil]

Probably YABU. But I'd be the same.

[fabuLou]

YAbu and dont get why buying booze different

[Birdsgottafly]

If your local shop was run by an arsehole and because he would be judged, would it be reasonable for your DP to refuse to buy you sanitary stuff, or breast pads?

[hibbleddible]

Yanbu

He is being unreasonable for smoking when his partner is pregnant. He should stop now, not wait for the baby to arrive!

[YouBastardSockBalls]

He won't give up and your baby is already being exposed to second hand smoke.

Sorry.

[ThursdayLastWeek]

worra I was just thinking the same.
Even though rationally I know the OP is bring a bit U, if it were me and I decided to buy the cigs, I'd definitely make a song and dance so people knew they weren't for me

Im sorry, but I've seen enough threads on MN these days to know that people probably are judging you as you suspect!

[RevsDeCub]

lazylohan 100% agree with your post.

Him quitting/not quitting isn't what I asked. I asked am I being unreasonable not buying him cigarettes - the end!

[WorraLiberty]

Thursday I was half expecting someone to point to my bump, and say 'Is that your neighbour in there?'

[RevsDeCub]

worra there needs to be a laughing emoji... So funny!

[DextersMistress]

Yabu.

Unfortunately people judge. Once the baby is here you'll be judged on all kinds of things! Time to thicken your skin and stop caring what strangers may or may not think

[mummyguts]

In a way you are being unreaosnable but so am I, I use to buy tobacco for my partner but since being pregnant I've utterly refused, I gues because I'm proud of myself for the fact at I quit easily on finding out I was pregnant I feel like buying tobacco would somehow take away from that.. Doesn't really make sense but that's pregnancy logic for you

[HoneyDragon]

You are being unreasonable which you've realised but....

I blame Mumsnet. You'd have purchased them without batting an eye lid if you hadn't realised their are swathes of seemingly normal people looking at you, judging you and checking their watches to see how long it will be before they can get home, make a cup of tea, fire up the laptop and slag you off on the Internet.

Thus, on behalf of the interwebz I absolve you of you unreasonableness.

[MamaLazarou]

YAB hilariously U!

[swimmerforlife]

YANBU. I wouldn't want to be seen buying fags when pregnant as I would care what other people thought.

Buying beer is different as you could be buying for parties etc but if you are buy cigarette, they are generally for personal use.

[Desertedislander]

I definitely don't think YABU! I would not want to and I would want my partner to give up as soon as I discovered I was pregnant.

[ThursdayLastWeek]

Yep. What HoneyDragin said

[InQuiteAPickle]

FYI, he is giving up smoking once baby comes as I've told him I am not letting our child be exposed to third hand smoke... But... AIBU?

Why doesn't he give up now instead of waiting till the baby comes? It will be easier now without the stress of a baby to give up!

[StonedGalah]

Honey l thought smoking during pregnancy was a shit thing to do long before mn

And l would always assume OP was buying the ciggies for herself. And yes l would judge.

[BackInTheRealWorld]

My ex used to buy my tampax even though he didn't have periods. And I used to buy incontinence pads for the lady I looked after, nothing wrong with my pelvic floor thank you very much.

[InQuiteAPickle]

Btw, I wouldn't want to be seen buying cigarettes while pregnant either. I would probably do a Worra and add on the end that they weren't for me.

[gingermopped]

when I was 30 wks preg I went into local shop and brought a large bottle of Bacardi and 40 cigarettes for my mum and dad as a thanks for having my kids for a week, women behind me was tutting and pulling faces, lol.
I couldn't care less what a stranger thinks about me