Pregnant woman buying cigarettes

[RevsDeCub]

I need to settle this debate. I am nearly 38 weeks pregnant & was nipping to the shop on my way home so phoned DP to ask did he want anything. Meaning a drink or a snack...
He asks me to buy him some cigarettes to which I point blank refuse and he goes into a bit of a strop that I won't get him some - I did smoke before pregnancy & we used to buy each other cigarettes if we were at the shop but obviously I don't smoke now! He says he 'doesn't know what the big deal is as they're not for me'.
I couldn't believe he would even ask me to buy some!! My argument is as I am heavily pregnant in my early 20s and there might even be a risk of me getting asked for ID (challenge 25 everywhere) which is embarrassing enough, but whilst pregnant I look like a terrible person for buying them. I will buy beer even though I'm not drinking it, but I see that as being slightly different.
I don't mind buying cigarettes if I'm not pregnant, so it's not that side of things it's the fact I don't want people to think I'm a heavily pregnant woman who smokes especially when I've done so well to give up cold turkey!

FYI, he is giving up smoking once baby comes as I've told him I am not letting our child be exposed to third hand smoke... But... AIBU?

[somewheresomehow]

YABU
they are fags for gods sake not bloody drugs, who gives a shiny shit what other people may think about yours or your DH habits

[AlphabetStew]

Another YANBU here. I would mind. I knew I shouldn't but I would.

DH used to smoke and would sometimes ask me to buy cigarettes and rolling papers. I'd mostly buy them from two different shops because it's blatantly obvious what you're up to if you're buying a pre-rolled pack of cigs and rolling papers. And I wasn't actually rolling anything at all.

[Shutthatdoor]

YABU

[Bubblesinthesummer]

YABU and that is from dome one who is very anti smoking

[Radiatorvalves]

I wouldn't buy fags for anyone, pg or not pg. loathe smoking and always have done.

So IMHO YANBU but for the wrong reasons!

[Strokethefurrywall]

Yep, unreasonable but gracious of you to accept it!
I used to buy DH cigarettes all the time when I was pregnant - it never occurred to me to worry about what others thought.

[Hairballs]

YANBU.

I refused to buy cigarettes for my friend when I was heavily pregnant.

[chrome100]

I really wouldn't even think twice if I saw a pregnant woman buying fags. Not everyone is desperately interested in everything you do. And I mean that in a nice way!

[OliviaM91]

As a woman in her early 20s , I know those looks and I don't think you are being unreasonable. People see a young, pregnant woman with cigarettes and there first thought isn't 'oh, yes she's buying them for her husband'.

[NurseRoscoe]

I can understand how you feel completely. It shouldn't matter what random people think but to some people it just does. I'm a very self conscious person too. However I wouldn't of refused I don't think.

[MummaV]

when I was pregnant I'd often my cigarettes for my boss on my way into work. I was obviously pregnant and rather young looking (people always put me 4/5years younger than I am) and often got judgey looks. I didn't feel the need to explain myself to a bunch of strangers as I knew they weren't for me and that was enough.
I can understand why other people would be concerned about what others think though. I was more concerned about my one glass of champagne at a friend's wedding when I was 35 weeks as I was heavily pregnant and having a drink.
YABU.

[DontHaveAUsername]

I'd say you're being a little unreasonable because it doesn't matter what someone in a shop thinks of you plus if it was me the first thing I'd assume is that you were buying them for a mate or your husband or boyfriend anyway.

[TRexingInAsda]

Yanbu - you're under no obligation to buy him cigs. You asked him if he wanted anything, what if he said 'a sports car', would you buy it? No. Some stuff just isn't an option and it's up to you what you buy and don't buy. And it looks bloody awful to everyone when a heavily pregnant woman buy cigs - they will assume it's for you, and judge, and cringe and feel sad for the baby etc. He can buy his bloody own.

Yabu to believe he'll give them up when the baby's here though, haha. No he won't. If he was interested in giving up he'd have done it by now. Good luck though, I hope he does.

[Chelsielouise]

YANBU
in my opinion.
People judge and I personally wouldn't want to be in that position.
but I'm over sensitive anyway

[AyeAmarok]

I would bet my bottom dollar that there is not a snowballs chance in hell that your husband will give up smoking "once the baby comes".

[AyeAmarok]

Everything TRex just said is spot on.

[tobysmum77]

yanbu at all

he can buy his own fags, problem solved

[tobysmum77]

but aye whether he gives up or not is a separate issue. If he doesn't the op can't exactly make him he's an adult.

[LieselVonTwat]

YABU for thinking he's going to give up when you have the baby. If you're nearly 38 weeks, the baby will be here very soon and could arrive today. Is he really ready to quit now? Tbh I think if he was serious about giving up, it would've happened already. He's supposed to go cold turkey what, as soon as you're in labour? Not realistic.

Well done for giving up btw. Good for you.

[AyeAmarok]

I know Toby, but OP seems to be under the illusion that he will.

[GirlOverboard]

Who cares what some stranger in a shop thinks of you? It really shouldn't bother you so much. I would have put my partner's wishes first and not given a stuff if anyone was silently judging me. I don't think YABU as such, I just think it's a bit sad that some people are so worried about the opinions of total strangers.

[CalleighDoodle]

Yanbu. There is no way in hell i would buy cigarettes for my partner ever because i just wouldnt marry a smoker. I certianly wouldnt have a baby with one. Cigarette smoke is disgusting. It stinks and it harms people around who do not smoke. the toxins and smell also stay on the skin, clothes and the walls in the room that was smoked in.

[FindoGask]

I bought a bottle of vodka and 20 Marlboro for my husband when I was 7 months pregnant with our first daughter. He had just found out that his mum had died suddenly and was obviously in complete and total shock and he wanted a drink. I was going home to meet him - he asked me to buy them on the way there and I did, without question, but I do remember saying to the woman behind the counter "they're not for me!", so even in my distress I was worried what someone would think of me.

[FindoGask]

(he and I were both ex-smokers as well, but it definitely wasn't the time to say oh no, you mustn't)

[Bambambini]

Yanbu - half (at least) the folk saying yabu would probably be judging you if they were behind you in the shop. The comparison with sanitary pads etc is just stupid.