To think a parent and baby room isn't a sickroom?

[CigarsofthePharoahs]

During the summer holidays my church has no creche or sunday school provision as numbers are low and people are on holiday.
What we do have is a small room at the back of the hall that is a parent and baby room, it even has a sign on the door saying this.
It's quite nice, comfy sofas, some toys for the little ones, a big window so you can still see the service and a speaker so you can hear it. The children can make a bit of noise if they want to without disrupting the service.
Sadly, the room is regularly used by other people as it was yesterday.
I went in with my 16 month old son after forty minutes as he was wanting to run about and be noisy. There were three people asleep in there! None of them had a small child with them.
I went in with the attitude that my son was going to be noisy so if they woke up then tough, they should have picked a better place to sleep. I was also annoyed that there wasn't room for me to sit.
One of them stirred, had a loud coughing fit and sneezed. She looked at me and said "Oh... I'll try not to cough on him."
Gee thanks!
I remarked that she really shouldn't be using the room if she was contagious and she promptly got up and pretty much ran out of the room before I could say anything else. She went to the loo.
Her sleeping friend woke up and then tried to guilt trip me into letting her friend stay as "she really wanted to hear the service."
I replied that I wasn't wonderfully keen on that as I couldn't take my son back out as he would disturb everyone and he's had two bouts of bronchiolitis in the last year and way too many head colds. He's not long over one and I'd like to keep the risk of catching any more to a minimum.
She said she'd take her friend back home - which is in the house right next door to the church hall.
Dh thinks I was right to stand my ground but I have to admit I'm wavering. Do I keep insisting the parent and baby room not be used like this or do I owe her an apology?

I'm totally confused why adults would be asleep as church.

So the sign needs to read 'this room is exclusively for the use of adults with young children'.

And a sermon about sleeping when you should be doing something else. Isn't there something about wise virgins?

Maybe ask the pastor to see about recording service, then publish them on a church website? Then people who can't make it can still listen in.

People really think its ok for someone who is infectious and unwell enough not to want to be within the main congregation, to sit in a room meant for babies and small children? Children younger than 5 are often classified as a high risk group due to immature immune systems.

Proverbs 6:9-11 “How long will you lie there, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.”

Put up another sign

I like that

She looked like she had the flu.

Not if she was out of bed she didn't.

I don't get why people are so passionately defending the right of the ill person to sleep in the children's room? After all, if she's that keen on worshipping she could tune in to the Sunday Service on the radio and watch Songs of Praise and sleep through those.

The children's room might only be a children's room because someone decided that's what it should be to meet a need at a particular time ages ago. Maybe it was never intended to be for the exclusive use of parents and young children, but more a room that they could use if they needed to so a sign was put up to let them know.

Putting a sign up to show people a room that parents can use doesn't automatically mean that no one else should ever be allowed to use it.

But it's being used as a dormitory.

Really? From what the OP has said so far it could have been being used by two elderly people who don't get out much, one of whom had a cold and one who was a bit sleepy, and they didn't want to miss the highlight of their week.

OP I think you are getting a really hard time on here, I just love it when non church goes pile in to comment on how people should behave towards each other in church!!!

If someone is ill and asleep they are not listening to the service and should be at home, being part of a church family is a two way thing and they were being selfish using the room to sleep!!! Yes churches should be inclusive and try to support the whole congregations needs but to criticise the op for wanting to use the parent room for the purpose it is intended is not on.

OP have a word with the church leadership and make sure they are aware of the difficulties you are having - the comments about keeping children quiet and the parent room being used inappropriately.

Ok, I haven't abandoned the thread, I've been grocery shopping.
To answer some questions -
It was designed as a parent and baby room, I was attending the church when the hall was built. There is a big sign on the door.
We do have a recording and putting it on line service. It takes a couple of weeks.
The people sleeping weren't elderly, they were early twenties. I probably should have mentioned that earlier. Sorry.
I know other parents have had words with the leadership before about this and other issues. They were told (very politely) that they can go and sit in the house next door if they liked. The sign was the only concession made.
My problem with that is you can't hear the service from there, which does feel a bit like being told that you might as well not bother to attend.
I have taken on board the point about inclusivity. The problem I have is that if the room is full of people needing a comfy sofa, or feeling ill or wanting to sleep and a parent can't use the room with a small child, they then have the option of either disrupting the service with a noisy child or leaving. That's not inclusive either.

I think what wound me up was the "I'll try not to cough on him" comment. She wasn't trying to contain the germs. It might not have been flu, but it was a pretty nasty looking cold, bad enough that she felt she couldn't sit on a normal chair (they are padded btw, not hard pews)
I probably should have sucked it up, but I'm just fed up of feeling like I'm impositioning people for trying to use the room for its intended purpose.

I think comments on here have been "odd".

I don't see why people are at Church if they are too sick to sit through the service (I can understand people going out for a drink etc. if they have a cough).

I think you should tell the leadership about the comment about "people with young children shouldn't bring them to church". No Church I know would support such a comment (including the local Cathedral), and obviously yours welcomes children as it provides facilities for them. If they don't listen you could either: talk to their wives (I'm assuming they are male) or go to another Church which welcomes children.

Marcipex - I like that!

3 people were in the parent and child room sleeping? weird !

I think it is ok for those other than parents and babies to use the room eg a parent with an older child with learning difficulties might want to use it. But if you do you shouldn't be asking for quiet or going in there with a nasty infection.

How long exactly are the sermons in your church that people feel they need to have a nap in the middle? Do people listen to them in shifts? I could have done with one when I went to a recent christening at somebody else's church, I'd got a distinct case of 'pew square-bum' by the time it had finished.

Great idea having a room to take children into though.

When the crèche/Sunday school is being held, do they use the 'parent and child' room or do they have different, specific rooms to use?

If they use the same room, yanbu to want to use it as a child friendly spade as it would not be available during term time.

If it is a separate room entirely, then I think yabu. I can think of many reasons why a person may not feel able to join in with the rest of the congregation and the room should be renamed to reflect that. Although plain old having a snooze sounds like someone has been dragged along by their parents after a heavy night out or alternatively early days of pregnancy and not feeling great but doesn't want to say.

Is the service piped into the school/crèche rooms (if separate) and if not, would that be an alternative to be considered so during holiday periods, rooms designed for the children to use can be used to remove noisier children from service?

3 people sleeping in the room? What happened to the 3rd person? You seem to have forgotten about him/her. Is s/he still there? Should we send help?

It sounds as if the church elders are not going to support the OP.
Being told they can sit in the house next door??

My realistic suggestion is that you move into that little room at the very start of the service. Maybe other people with children will take turns with you.
Then you are already there playing, when the sleepy young ladies arrive. Perhaps that will put them off? They might get the message.

"Her sleeping friend woke up and then tried to guilt trip me into letting her friend stay as "she really wanted to hear the service.""
No, if she really wanted to hear the service she'd have stayed awake! If you're so ill you fall asleep unintentionally, then you need to be home in bed not spreading your germs to all and sundry. Plus, why was the presumably-not-sick friend asleep? Why?

No OP, you shouldn't have to feel as if you have to suck it up. They are completely taking the piss.

The creche is usually held in a small lounge owned by the people who run the house that's next to the church. It's only been available a couple of times this summer as the family have, understandably, wanted to go on holiday and their private area of the house is locked.
It was not available yesterday (ironically) because one of them was very ill and didn't want to infect anyone.
None of the other communal rooms in that house are safe for creche, think big open fireplaces, unguarded electric sockets and so on.
The only option for a parent who can't use the parent and child room is to leave the service. My personal opinion on that is that it isn't very fair.
I did ask about having a wifi connection to the house next door so I can hear the meeting when it's my turn to help with creche but apparently there are better things to spend the money on.
In all honesty, I'm thinking of bunking off until creche and sunday school restart. Having sat and written these responses I am becoming rather aware of how unwelcome my church is to those with small children. I'm not the only one who has made complaints and raised issues, but nothing changes.

Oselea - the room OP was in is labeled as a childrens room. The Christian thing would have been for the sick person to stay away from small vulnerable children. If they aren't well enough to sit in church, they're not well enough to sit in the children's room either.

If ill and asleep the person should have been to home in bed instead of selfishly infecting everyone