To think a parent and baby room isn't a sickroom?

[CigarsofthePharoahs]

During the summer holidays my church has no creche or sunday school provision as numbers are low and people are on holiday.
What we do have is a small room at the back of the hall that is a parent and baby room, it even has a sign on the door saying this.
It's quite nice, comfy sofas, some toys for the little ones, a big window so you can still see the service and a speaker so you can hear it. The children can make a bit of noise if they want to without disrupting the service.
Sadly, the room is regularly used by other people as it was yesterday.
I went in with my 16 month old son after forty minutes as he was wanting to run about and be noisy. There were three people asleep in there! None of them had a small child with them.
I went in with the attitude that my son was going to be noisy so if they woke up then tough, they should have picked a better place to sleep. I was also annoyed that there wasn't room for me to sit.
One of them stirred, had a loud coughing fit and sneezed. She looked at me and said "Oh... I'll try not to cough on him."
Gee thanks!
I remarked that she really shouldn't be using the room if she was contagious and she promptly got up and pretty much ran out of the room before I could say anything else. She went to the loo.
Her sleeping friend woke up and then tried to guilt trip me into letting her friend stay as "she really wanted to hear the service."
I replied that I wasn't wonderfully keen on that as I couldn't take my son back out as he would disturb everyone and he's had two bouts of bronchiolitis in the last year and way too many head colds. He's not long over one and I'd like to keep the risk of catching any more to a minimum.
She said she'd take her friend back home - which is in the house right next door to the church hall.
Dh thinks I was right to stand my ground but I have to admit I'm wavering. Do I keep insisting the parent and baby room not be used like this or do I owe her an apology?

Misses. Not kisses. We are not that sort of church... ????

I think the OP is unfairly getting a hard time here. Nobody likes having ill people around their children, and the room is designated as a parent/child room, not a dormitory for adults with bronchitis. And if there was a parent with a sick child there, I'd be questioning what sort of parent dragged a child who should be resting at home in bed to church.

OP, I don't think YABU. Having a sick child is no fun and you're perfectly within your rights to do whatever you can to avoid it.

Gooseberry - there is a sign on the door!
As for taking him back into the service, well I'm a little sensitive about that. Someone had a bit of a moan at me a few months ago about noisy children, and they stated at the end of their speech that they thought it was better the parent not bother to come if the child was going to be disruptive. Some of the other mums (and not the dads for some reason) have had similar comments from this person and others.
Sorry if that's a dripfeed.
I'm starting to think there isn't a right answer to this. It was my opinion that she shouldn't have even been out of bed, she really did look quite ill. I did respect she wanted to listen to the service, but I did think it was a bit off to sit and cough and sneeze all over a room that's regularly used by babies and small children.
It's not the first time I've been made to feel awkward to want to use the room for what should be its intended purpose.

Why do people snooze in there thats odd turn up to church and go for a nap surely if somebody is ill they should stay home yabu about germs though the woman coughed your baby is going to come into contact with viruses.

Maybe the general feeling amongst the congregation is that the room should be able to be used by anyone who finds sitting in the main area difficult.

That would be the nicer, more inclusive way forward.

Lots of churches have services that are aimed at families with young children or they provide a crèche. Is there anything like that at your church that would be more suitable, or would you think of starting one up?

I don't think YWBU or precious to want the room to be used for it's intended purpose.

*its

Glad I'm not a churchgoer - you all sound really uncharitable pissing and moaning about each other.

We usually have a creche and sunday school, but it doesn't run in the school holidays.
It is the first time I've felt the need to comment. I didn't scream "GET OUT!!" I said that I thought it wasn't a good idea to be so obviously contagious around small children. Perhaps I was being too precious.
I don't have a problem if someone feels they need a comfy sofa to sit on rather than a chair in the hall, but it does become an issue if several parents need to use the room and it becomes too full. Some have got a little huffy about the noise the children make. I didn't really know what to say to them as it's the point of having the room!

I agree with Osolea. It may be marked as the parent and baby room, but it seems that the congregation are using it as a room for anyone who cannot or does not want to be in the main room, and that's fine too.

They were there first, so I'd either have joined them or returned to the service.

Your child is nearly 1.5 and he won't qualify for the parent and baby room soon anyway. He'd already be out of the baby room at a nursery.

I'm really confused by some of the responses. Why should someone be there if they aren't even listening to the service? Do they feel they have to maintain a 100% attendance record like at school?

Is there a certificate and a presentation at the end of the year?

I think a parent and baby room, set up for playing in, to keep noisy children from spoiling the service for others, should be used for just that.

So, people arrive at church and go for a kip? How extraordinary.

I think they are the selfish ones, not the parent with a noisy (ie normal) child.

I'll keep him in the service in future I think.
Not sure what to say if someone complains about the noise.

Why was the sick lady's friend sleeping too?

Lazy cow.

Cigars Use the room for its intended purpose!

People sleep in church?!
That's a thing?

I don't think YABU. They should stay at home!
I'm sure god will, k'know, know why they're not at home, seeing as he smote them in the first place.

More than likely hungover and not Ill at all

The room will be coated in viral fomites etc if they've been languishing there spluttering. I would leave them to it personally

Well, Cigars, you could say

I thought of taking him into the playroom, but I saw Nameofsleeper and Nameofsleeper2 were having a sleep in there. They were annoyed when we woke them last Sunday.

Just tell the truth.

If she had flu, she wouldn't have been able to make it to the church.

She most likely had a cold, and you sound rather precious. I wouldn't isolate myself or my dc due to a cold, it isn't practical.

I'm not a church goer, but I thought that the point about churches was that all were welcome including those with colds

I've been going to church every Sunday for 35 years and I've never seen anyone having a sleep. How odd.

I read a lovely story once about a woman who used to come to Quaker services and sleep.

The Quakers thought that it was nice that she had a place she could come for quiet, as perhaps there were issues with her home situation. She was made welcome, not made to feel like an account inconvenience.

Yanbu at all, if they were ill they should have been at home, not contaminating everyone else. It's a parent and baby room, not a sanitorium. You are right.

at Uterus

'know why they're not at home, seeing as he smote them in the first place.'

Perhaps your church needs to remove the sofas.