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AIBU?

ABU to be really cross that dd has plucked her eyebrows?

147 replies

NoonarAgain · 22/08/2015 22:36

She is 13 and has attacked them with tweezers. they were really beautiful and shapely and now they are short, uneven and rectangular. i get my eye brows threaded but her were so naturally beautiful i said no to her having it done.

i have taught her to shave her armpits and wax her legs for her (on her request) but i have said no to the eyebrows. i am also now saying no to thick black eyeliner which has crept in over the last 10 days. i don't want her to look 16!

she seemed to think its my fault for saying no to the threading. are parents not allowed to say no to anything these days??

i hope they grow back.

aibu to have some sort of make up confiscating punishment?
wwyd?

OP posts:

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NoonarAgain · 22/08/2015 23:04

suburban, i am cross because she has messed them up and it didn't need doing. she tells me if she feels self conscious about her appearance and i really think the eye brow thing was just done on impulse. not because she was self conscious.

im not sure they can be sorted out professionally yet, as she has shortened them too much and made the end blunt. in order to make them tapered, they would need to become even shorter.

OP posts:

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ImperialBlether · 22/08/2015 23:04

In three weeks they will be fine. Don't worry about it.

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NoonarAgain · 22/08/2015 23:05

imperial, it wasn't exactly a cry for help it was 'mum, x is having her eye brows done can i get mine done?' she only asked cos she happened to be with her friend.

OP posts:

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bloodyteenagers · 22/08/2015 23:07

Tomorrow take her to somewhere decent who will also use a bit of make up to also help balance them out.
This will stop her from hacking. Ask the person if your dd can observe what she's doing so she can do this at home whilst they are growing back.

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TJEckleburg · 22/08/2015 23:08

I think you need to stop thinking you can actually control your teens behaviour, and instead start trying to influence it. And you won't do that by banning things, but instead by listening to. Her and talking to her.

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EduCated · 22/08/2015 23:10

Oh for heavens sake, they're eyebrows. Who didn't fuck up their eyebrows at 13?!

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ImperialBlether · 22/08/2015 23:12

Losing control of everything your child does is always hard. Your daughter is three years off being able to be legally married, OP - time to let her have a bit of independence.

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BertrandRussell · 22/08/2015 23:16

"are parents not allowed to just say no to things occasionally??"

Yes of course they are. But not about stuff like this- her hair, her choice.

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SansaryaAgain · 22/08/2015 23:19

YABU as they're just eyebrows FGS! Wait a month for them to grow back and then take her to get them threaded. They don't have to be threaded into a completely different shape, she can just get them tidied and defined but following the natural shape of her brows.

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YesIleftthebastard · 22/08/2015 23:22

I had my DD when I was only 5 years older than yours OP.
Wait till you get the boys knocking on the door, eyebrows won't be amongst your worries then.

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MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 22/08/2015 23:22

Saying no for the sake of it is petty and bloody minded.

Women and girls have enough judgement and scrutiny about their bodies without their own mothers joining in. Her body, her choice so long a it's not dangerous or illegal.

They're only eyebrows. They'll grow back.

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BuggersMuddle · 22/08/2015 23:25

Take her to a beautician and if you can, brief the beautician ahead of time. My DM took me for a tint and wax at that age, but I'm a ginger so that may change things.

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SuburbanRhonda · 22/08/2015 23:25

You're a teacher?

And you answered your mobile while teaching?

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IguanaTail · 22/08/2015 23:26

help her out ffs!

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ouryve · 22/08/2015 23:26

Well, I had to pester my mum to be allowed o shave the thick black hair on my legs, but she did kindly show me how to turn my monobrow into 2 substantial but tidy eyebrows when I was about 11. And yes, if you had listened to her, she wouldn't have ended up butchering them. It's not like the fashion is for eyebrows plucked to oblivion, these days, so you would have had nothing to lose by shwowing her how to tidy them up.

Anyhow, it's hair. It grows back.

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secondchapter · 22/08/2015 23:29

I get upset looking at dds patchy brows and excessive eyeliner. I sometimes fail to restrain myself from commenting, oops. I never pluck my brows, have never needed to as they are so pale and they don't seem to grow.

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microferret · 22/08/2015 23:31

I destroyed mine over several years but I think they'd have grown back if I had only done it once - although eyebrows are weird - apparently when surgeons need to work in the brow area they don't shave it as sometimes the hair never comes back!

You should let her get them threaded if she really wants to do it. But show her lots of pictures of gorgeous women with bushy eyebrows (like Natalia Vodianova, Cara Delevingne, Jennifer Connelly, any American Apparel model or Brooke Shields) to convince her that she should keep any trimming to an absolute minimum. Eyebrows are so important for framing one's features and look so much better when they're nice and abundant as opposed to sparse and sad.

Also you can tell her from me that it's a massive pain in the titties having to draw the fucking things on each and everyday so that I don't look permanently astonished.

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Lurkedforever1 · 22/08/2015 23:34

Yabu. As already said she wasn't happy and resorted to doing it herself cos you said no to threading.
I used hair dye on mine as an experiment at that age, cos they were so blonde they were invisible. I looked a right twat and had to get my darker, hairier friend to bleach them back. And did myself a fringe and layers which made me look like a goth Shirley temple. I've already warned dd if she ever wants to make any changes that can't be reversed in minutes to tell me and I'll help her do it properly. after she took chunks out of her beautiful thick shiny straight hair for wispy bits

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CaptainHolt · 22/08/2015 23:39

I'm honestly baffled that you think it's up to you what she does with her own eyebrows. Why would you punish her for it?

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Spilose · 22/08/2015 23:40

Yabu to be cross over this. It's done now. Show her how to do it properly if she insists.
I did this at 13 too, pulled out the middle of my eyebrow because I was never shown how. I also shaved my whole arms once because I didn't know any better...
Just talk to your daughter

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ReginaBlitz · 22/08/2015 23:44

This is exactly why I have to draw my fuckers on now! Do them for her! My mum used to do mine before I went rogue with the tweezers one day

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FayKorgasm · 22/08/2015 23:46

Calm down before you keel over. They will grow back.

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PUGaLUGS · 22/08/2015 23:53

Not the end of the world really is it.

DS2 shaved half of his brow off, whilst I am not a lover of this look, it is his brow and he has to look like that not me.

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AyeAmarok · 22/08/2015 23:59

You were teaching but your 13 year old was not in school?

They are her eyebrows, not yours. She can do what she likes with them. Her punishment should be nothing other than looking a bit daft.

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hufflebottom · 23/08/2015 00:17

She needs to learn....if they really are as bad as you say they are her punishment (as you think she should have) will be her friends ribbing her about it.

Instead of berating her. Sit down have a girls night with the make up, tweezers etc and show her, look on you tube or in magazines.

You stopping her could start the 'I'm going to do it anyway' stage,so meet her halfway.

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