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AIBU?

not to know if "brown sugar" is offensive.

342 replies

Charis1 · 20/08/2015 23:11

I am taking some gifts from work colleagues to a friend in hospital tomorrow. We had a collection, and one person bought the gifts from us all. We have some nice toiletries and things, but are in a toiletry bag with a picture of a teddy on it and the caption "brown sugar". I thought that term sometimes used in a racist context, so am reluctant to hand this over. but not sure if I am being paranoid and overly politically correct.

Please help!

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BertrandRussell · 23/08/2015 16:14

"I know a strict Muslims who took offence to a pig in a Fisher price farm set, and I'm betting not all take offence at a pig in a farm yard toy."

You know, it's statements like this that make me call bullshit. When people quote Daily Mail stories and claim them as their experience.

It's like all the racists who just happen to have loads of black friends who agree with them......

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GingerCuddleMonsterThe2nd · 23/08/2015 16:25

umm well her mother did, it did not appear in the daily mail, there was no sad face article I'm afraid.

I also know a Irish man who takes offence to being called Scottish by Americans this also has never made it in to the daily fail.

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Bulbasaur · 23/08/2015 16:31

"But then how does this explain rappers who use it, they are saying it to a broad audience and not a personal friend, or are they calling themselves a n-word?

I think us white folk are better of just never using it and leaving them to it personally haha grin"

Or... are they showing their audience they're "one of the guys" with them?

I don't use it personally.

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BertrandRussell · 23/08/2015 16:33

Oh, come on- the whole "Muslims offended by pigs in Fisher Price farm set"was a massive 9 day wonder in the press a few years ago. It turned out to be as much rubbish as the story about a Muslim being offended by a neighbour's collection of Nat West piggy banks.

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slithytove · 23/08/2015 16:42

White people shouldn't use it.

Should white people have an opinion on black people using it? Do we have the right to be offended? Gut says no, that to do so would be white privilege.

And yet there are (according to this thread) black people offended by other black people using the N word. Still probably not a battle white people should be fighting?

Should a black person be allowed to own and enjoy gollies without cries of racism, which a white person doing the same would definitely get?

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GingerCuddleMonsterThe2nd · 23/08/2015 16:51

Bert I honestly didn't know this, friend just told me about her mothers reaction at a sling meet. Maybe she was telling porkies then, I don't know, I'm not one to question much and don't really care. It's no skin off my nose.

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GingerCuddleMonsterThe2nd · 23/08/2015 16:56

slith I think white people lost the right to question black people on anything after years of oppression and supremacy. Just let the people of minority backgrounds do as they please as long as its not hurting anyone, we'd expect the same as the white race surely.

Arguments on race become quite pedantic and picky picky I find. Me and DP who have had our fare share of racial abuse thrown at us, have learnt to just ignore everything and grin. You can tell the difference when someone is being a racist and is just not sure on what is "righ/wrong/pc"

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SenecaFalls · 23/08/2015 17:03

And yet there are (according to this thread) black people offended by other black people using the N word.

Not just according to this thread. Here, for example:

parade.com/58556/katherineheintzelman/oprah-winfrey-forest-whitaker-talk-lee-daniels-the-butler-racism-and-the-n-word/

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VerityWaves · 23/08/2015 17:10

Haven't read the whole thread but my best friend is mixed race and she uses it to describe herself in a jokey way.

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OutToGetYou · 23/08/2015 17:11

Bloody ebay is sending me links to 'brown sugar' bears now!

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SalemSaberhagen · 23/08/2015 17:52

Probably best not to use 'us' and 'them' when discussing other ethnicities too, ginger.

I would be livid if someone bought DD a golliwog. My DP and in-laws would too, and they are black. I've never met anyone who thinks they are acceptable, so there is your theory blown out of the water.

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GingerCuddleMonsterThe2nd · 23/08/2015 18:00

Salem I ment "us" as in us as a couple

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GingerCuddleMonsterThe2nd · 23/08/2015 18:06

gosh people are so picky, no wonder people get all red faced and stuttery when trying to explain or talk to me and DP, this includes health professionals too we have found.

Use your common sense, you know when someone is being racist rather than just generally talking. This whole egg shell talking doesn't help one bit, were all people, us them, male female, black white, mixed.

I'm done. Toodles.

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SalemSaberhagen · 23/08/2015 18:10

I think us white folk are better of just never using it and leaving them to it personally haha

That's not you referring to us and them as a couple, is it?

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SalemSaberhagen · 23/08/2015 18:14

Nice 'we are one' speech at the end though. Not particularly relevant to the discussion, but ok.

What do they get red faced and stuttery about?

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SalemSaberhagen · 23/08/2015 18:24

Apologies, I worded that badly. The 'us' in that quote wasn't you and your DP, it was white people. 'Them', were black people.

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GingerCuddleMonsterThe2nd · 23/08/2015 18:28

DP is of mixed race, black carribean/white british I am Caucasian, white British. DS well there is no official tick box for him there is no 1 3rd black carribean 2 3rds white British, the genetic team always struggle and have now just decided on mixed race/ other.
When trying to explain hereditary traits from our ethnic backgrounds you can tell there never sure what they can say 100% and can become a bit hesitant, even just to say "black people" comes with a hesitant pause before it like there not sure what they can say.

It's unfortunate that others feel this way, that they feel they need to walk on egg shells and watch every word that comes out of their mouths, just in case.

It's very easy for most to hear tone and intent of language, DP does not take offence if someone were to say to him "gosh you've gone dark in the sun, is that because of your black side?" or other just general remarks.

the egg shell talk can leave many people unsure what to say and can stiffle what should just be conversation, but that's just my opinion.

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SalemSaberhagen · 23/08/2015 18:33

The official tick box is MBCWB (or some variant of those initials). You don't need to state percentages?

You didn't reference the 'them' and 'us' quote.

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GingerCuddleMonsterThe2nd · 23/08/2015 18:39

Salem ok I'll await that box on a form...not getting my point about possibly relaxing a little and stop being so picky about language use but more it's intent, but never mind

have a nice day, dear

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ALassUnparalleled · 23/08/2015 18:39

It's like when you call your girl friends bitches if you're fooling around. You call your friend "Hey bitch, sup?", probably means you're being playful and you two are close enough to insult each other without taking it personally

I can assure you whatever your colour, race, gender, sexual preferences, nationally, or religion if you call me a bitch I will think you are a vile person and I do not want in my life.

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BertrandRussell · 23/08/2015 18:49

"
I can assure you whatever your colour, race, gender, sexual preferences, nationally, or religion if you call me a bitch I will think you are a vile person and I do not want in my life."

I'm with you, girlfriend........

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slithytove · 23/08/2015 18:57

Not doubting it Seneca

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slithytove · 23/08/2015 18:59

Interesting ginger, because a mixed race poster on this thread was criticised for collecting and loving her gollies.

I would be surprised if none of those posters criticising were white.

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SalemSaberhagen · 23/08/2015 19:01

That box is on a form Ginger. I tick it for DD.

Still no acknowledgement of the othering, no?

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NotInVenezualaNowDrRopata · 23/08/2015 19:08

I just stumbled across this for the first time today;

www.debenhams.com/beauty/black-up

Timely, in view of this thread.

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Flip

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