To be ashamed of what poverty has reduced me to?

[iAmSiri]

Today I took a big wad of loo roll from a public toilet because I didn't have the money to buy some.

I struggle every week to make ends meet and today, although I fortunately had money to feed dc, it just wouldn't stretch to include toilet paper.

I absolutely think visit the food bank and, like someone said upthread, send them a tenner when your situation improves.

Miscellaneous ours is called Holiday Kitchen and we are in inner city Birmingham area.
But other people on the thread say their areas run something similar.

Thank you Fluffy, I am finding lots of things in those threads that can help.

Sending sympathy here too Op. I have cried with shame sometimes when shopping and had to put things back. My ds's help add up the bill as we go, but sometimes we get it wrong.

I have been known to visit grandparents at mealtimes so we will be fed. I know all the tricks in the book.

Don't be ashamed, society should be ashamed not you xx

Health visitors or the food banks themselves might be able to point people in the local direction.
Ours Is run by the local Women's group I joined and the money is donated from local charities.

If you have small children call your HV for food bank vouchers. thats who referred us

I'm boweled over by the kindness and compassion on this thread. I actually expected to be flamed for what I'd done.
After such a crap day I reached out and you've all been there for me. You've no idea how much I appreciate that. I left an abusive marriage a few years ago and I'm quite isolated now because I find it hard to trust anyone. I needed the kind words of friends today and you guys gave me them.
I feel a little lighter tonight. Tomorrow I'll get up and my determination will return. I'll hold my head up and just get on with.
I hope this doesn't sound too soppy but I feel so blessed to be part of this placed. Each and everyone of you helped me today.

MN at its best! x

If someone in front of me has ever had to put food back, I've always paid and just said it does me a favour because it's quicker than sorting it out. It's honestly never felt like a big issue - may be a couple of quid every 18 months or so. I'm sort of thinking now the people have just been speechless so haven't objected.

Our foodback has been announcing lately that they just don't need any more pasta, rice, sauce or cereal but do need Persil, bog roll, sanpro, shampoo, toothpaste. I always bung in a few packets of biscuits and chocolate as well because everyone deserves something nice.

Oh good one sell her phone for peanuts and make her life even harder good advice. Don't get yourself down it will get better and we all go tru tough times to make ends meet your a good mum but take the help you need

Internet access is fundamental if you want to participate in modern life, it's a basic utility like electricity and running water.
We are a modern wealthy country no one should have to live without basic utilities

Fuck me op and I don't swear but I need to get something out of my eye. I don't generally do that either.

mum

and I agree if there is any shame it is most definitely not on your head iamsiri
I really hope things look up for you very soon

In my area, you can ask the local children's centre for Coop vouchers and nappy vouchers. You just ask, they post it through your door. Might be worth investigating. I hope you find a better, more long term solution (job) soon.

We have 2 foodbanks where i live the 1 I put stuff in doesnt need pasta etc either they need toilet roll soap toothpaste maybe every now and again people should put those bits and pieces in too. I remember lifting toilet roll when dd was young from a public toilet it was a real low for me too. I never understood free school meals during termtime but no increase in benefit in the holidays i know they need to have a cut off but the summer holidays is shit when you are on the bones of your arse

And now I'm in tears.

OP you are not alone.

Be kind to yourself my lovely.

You are far richer than those people who come on this thread with their lack of compassion.

NOBODY can judge what you would do in ANY given situation until you are living it .

OP ( including anybody else In this situation ) PLEASE PM ME I would love to have the opportunity to help x

Siri huuuuuug (in a cool casual Mumsnet kinda way -squeeze! Ahem, ruins image!)

I just found this on another site and thought of you, Im not one for motivation crapitudes but it got it spot on for the stuff we're talking about here, it's from a Ted talk. She also says "vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage".

I just remembered another time I couldn't afford sanitary pads so I used nearly half a roll of loo roll. Stuck my fingers in each end of the roll and unraveled reams of it. I then carefully folded it to the size I wanted, folded that lengthways in half and cellotaped the bollix out of the underside!

Now some would say, "that's terrible, loo roll and cellotape!" but to me, it was fucking genius!

All that we experience in life is ours to own imo. Our own unique life stories. How we fought, how we survived, how we lived and how we treated others. Shame has no place when we, sit back, take stock and recognise the absolutely amazing people, survivors that we are. The amazing parents that we are. MN has its 'proud mummy' threads but it has so many others full of parents beating themselves up for just being human and completely forgetting or being blind to what we've made it through.

I can share my 'loo roll and cellotape' story because, fuck it, why not? Not great at the time, having no money but it keeps me real. I'll never forget where I came from. This thread is full of people who know what it's like to feel despair but also know what it's like to feel that bond amongst strangers that enriches your soul and supports your weary mind. Not taking away from the men on here but I especially feel a deep connection to other women and mums here.

Here's some pretend wine for you all. I'd offer real stuff but 'the protected' might see that as treating you all 'too human', grabby, scroungers that you all are!

First come, first served. Enjoy!

Can I just remind people that you can also donate to a food bank via Ocado, if you use them. Do a search for "donate food" and there are a few options of vouchers you can choose to add to your shopping. (I think it's £2.50, £5 or £10.)

OP, I'm glad so many MNers have been supportive. I hope you can ignore the trolls it obvious that having broadband is essential if you have kids and are applying for jobs.

My dad always used to knick our loo roll from our local pub. He bought himself a pint and I think he thought that gave him the right to steal the loo roll. It was embarrassing when he got complacent and used to leave it on the bar for everyone to see.

I wanted to say that I'm glad you are not accepting offers of money or goods from MN'ers. It worries me when posters accept things as I think it puts off posters that genuinely want moral support and advice. I think accepting or offering money or items muddies the waters and encourages scammers.

OP, In no way do I think you are a scammer but I have had serious concerns about other posters some of whom return every few months. They may be genuinely broke but they are not being genuine in posting 'for advice' when they are blatantly posting in the hope of getting money or items from MNs

I hope you see what I'm getting at.

OP, I hope every thing works out for you and your family. I have to agree with those suggesting that you get the kitten rehomed.

Oh OP, don't be ashamed. No-one should have to live like you are, it isn't fair. But you will get through this and you are doing the best you can right now, that's all any of us can do.

Please do go to your local food bank and do go to your local church and ask if they can help. I work at a homeless shelter and they are forever donating toiletries, clothes, and food. Obviously I can't speak for all churches but still worth a try. You sound like a fantastic mum and it can, and it will get better.

As others have said you have done nothing to be ashamed of.. I have a few boys 6-7 clothes 2 lovely fluffy fleeces...if they would be any use to you..He may have some 7-8 ..Do let me know if they are any use to you..I would love them to go somewhere they would be of use...

I am in Derbyshire..Pm me if I can help in any way. I have been where you are and would love to help someone like people helped me