To be ashamed of what poverty has reduced me to?

[iAmSiri]

Today I took a big wad of loo roll from a public toilet because I didn't have the money to buy some.

I struggle every week to make ends meet and today, although I fortunately had money to feed dc, it just wouldn't stretch to include toilet paper.

OP (If you are happy to) please can you say roughly what area you are in?
I would help you. Others have offered too.
Think of it as a loan - in a little while when things are better do the same for someone else.

Bonkers are you fucking stupid? You can't conceive of a situation where someone into a 2 year phone/ broadband contract gets plunged into poverty? Well lucky you for being so bloody naive.

OP, please don't be ashamed, you sound amazing and resourceful.
I took part in the 'Make Poverty History' marches. Its really quite hard to compare how optimistic we felt then to how bloody awful things are now. Back then it was about alleviating the problem in developing countries, now unless you are in the millionaire territory it seems as though it's just a matter of time before hardship claims you.

This thread has genuinely moved me to tears. As many PP's have said you have nothing to feel ashamed about. I have struggled from time to time so I know how tough things can be. Don't be ashamed to ask for assistance. It is times like this that people find their strength and character. I hope things pick up for you soon

Sorry if this has been mentioned and I am not sure where you are but there is a group called Make Lunch in many towns round the Uk who are doing lunch for children and there families during the holidays to ease the pressure, there is craft and other activities and a hot meal, it might help on many levels all get fed and a bit of fun as well x

Siri where are you based?

I get free cleaning products, washing tablets etc from work and would happily give you enough to see you through a few months x

Do you not get free vet care in the UK? If you're on benefits I mean.

Check that out because you don't need private insurance then, do you?

I remember having to keep dc home from school because I didn't have money for petrol. Worst time of my life.

Kept my phone though!

Ignore the cunts.

OP, can you post where you are roughly?

If you're anywhere near me I have a 23 litre bag of the most expensive in the world wood based cat litter going begging, after his highness decided he couldn't possibly dirty his paws in anything that wasn't lurid pink and scented of strawberries and took to pissing all over my bed instead

I only used one tray of it and you are more than welcome to it. It's in my way tbh. You'd be doing me a favour and with only one cat it should last you a month or so. It only needs changing out once a week or so.

Also VioVet.co.uk sell single dosage flea drops and worming tablets for next to nothing.

I work for a charity that pays vets' bills for people who are struggling. It's great to help people who've acquired a pet in better-off days, but have fallen on hard times. It's very annoying to have over donors' cash to those who've taken on a pet when they're already too impoverished to buy the basics for themselves and their family.

Please consider not adopting the kitten, OP.

Hi op. Where are you in the country? I would like to help with travel costs if you're in the Glasgow area.
Don't be ashamed. God I've been there. Talcum on my hair as we had no hot water. Begging my mum in law at the time for electricity money as me and dd were under my quilt freezing. It can happen to anyone. I am now back in a good place and you will be too. This is a blip. Visit the cab and chat about the food bank. We donate because we can. And believe me I know in a heartbeat I could be needing the help too, we all could!
Don't cancel your Internet. A sanction is the last thing you need. Fucking trolls. Ignore them. Think how unhappy they must be to pick on people to boost their own shattered self esteem.

Your local foodbank might also be able to point you towards any holiday meal schemes. The charity I work for is providing meals over the school holidays and we've seen demand go up year on year. We'd never turn a child away.

If you're a SAHP or somebody who works term time only, I urge you to consider getting involved in local schemes next year. We're expecting a huge increase in demand when working families lose thousands in household income because of changes to tax credits. I can't imagine that the rest of the country will be any different.

I pmed you op xxx

have not yet RTFT but can i personally tell everyone whos said about the internet to kindly fuck off? unlimited internet, 500 texts and 250 minutes is 15 pounds per month. a return journey once a week to the library is 22.50 a month. so 7.50 cheaper AND you can apply for more jobs all the time rather than being restricted due to the librarys time restriction or popularity and can apply for a lot more jobs and scour the internet a lot better. so yeah, fuck off. I was the same as you op and right now im off to rtft then come up with a better response.

I have just read 4 pages of this thread in the hope that bonkers has suddenly found some humanity and apologised for the wanky broadband comment......alas, bonkers is clearly not a decent human.

FWIW, as said up thread, broadband is seen as an essential home expense. When I went bankrupt in January 2014 it was on the list of 'allowed' expenses when filling out the paperwork.

siri I say this from the bottom of my heart....please, please DO NOT feel ashamed at finding yourself in this position. Before my bankruptcy I took (can't bring myself to say stole although that is essentially what I did) nappies, wipes, milk amongst other stuff from work. We were in a terrible state. I have told my story on here before, on another thread where MN really restored my faith in the human race.

A lot of how you are coming across really resonates with me. At my worst point I started a thread on a different site and the offers of help were astounding. Like you, though, I was far too proud to accept anything. With every offer I felt like shouting 'yes please! Please help me!' But what I actually said was 'I'll be ok, I'll sort it, I just needed to vent and have a moan'. God how I wish I had just accepted even one offer as my boy became very unwell with pneumonia (it was the middle of winter but couldn't afford to put the heating on).

If there is anything, anything at all, that you WILL accept then please PM me. Please lift your head high and be proud of yourself for doing the best you can in dreadful circumstances.

Wow I really touched by all your posts. Ive read every one and I really do appreciate it more than I can express.
I'm in the north west, I can't be any more precise than that. I had a situation with my ex that means I'm terrified of him ever finding out where I am.
I am definitely going to go to the food bank. I really can't take anything from mumsneters but you know you've all giving me something worth much more than material items. You've given my feeling of self worth a boost. This morning I felt like the worst mother on the planet but now I don't feel quite as bad.

Hi op. You are certainly not the person on this thread who should be feeling ashamed of themselves.

I've been in your situation but this was before I had children to think about. I can't imagine how much harder it must be with them. You've had lots of good advice and I can't think of anything new to add at the moment, I just wanted to show you support. Like other posters I have a few bits that could be useful depending on how old your children are. I know you didn't start this thread for that, but the offers there if you want to take it. I hope things get better soon.

I know sometimes it's hard to stretch to this but we save any coppers for weeks like this. When we were a bit more flush a pound a week went in a 'cleaning jar' then any loo roll, cleaning products etc came out of that. asda do 9 basic rolls for about 88p and home bargains do the nicer ones for £2 so £4 a month generally covered all these incidentals that weren't part of a regular food shop

Please do accept offers from kind mn'ers. I was in your position a couple of months ago and I was gifted toiletries (oh the joys!), school clothes & other clothes for my eldest, a toilet seat (long story!) and one amazingly kind and anonymous mn'er sent me 50 pounds so that me and my DC's could treat ourselves because she felt that she could and she was so kind. Say thank you and let people help. Like you, the offers and support made me feel stronger and that took me a little further. x

Sainsburys do 40 tea bags for 20p. They make really nice tea, but obviously only useful if you have one nearby.

Don't be ashamed, most of us have been there at some point or are only a few months away from it if our luck turns.

It sounds like you're doing a fabulous job in really tough circumstances, so rather than be hard on yourself, try to see how amazing you are, being able to do what you do without getting into horrendous debt is not easy.

Do take up the offers of assistance here for help with CV/job applications, it could be the thing that gives you the edge. What sorts of jobs are you applying for? Someone here might be able to give specialist advice. Could you volunteer during term time to get experience, or do you have pre-schoolers?

Hi all,

I've started a money saving tips thread. Could I ask you to start it off and put the tips listed here, over there?

I've explained in the OP why I started it.

Hope nobody minds and TIA for any offerings

Not rtft so sorry if repeating but would you qualify for pdsa for the cat, then you can cancel the insurance.

I've been there too and had to take toilet roll from public toilets. It means nothing at the moment because I know how overwhelming it feels, but when you are at rock bottom things can only improve. I second those who say take all help offered or available, it's not scrounging or taking from people in more need, it's survival until something more permanent comes along.

Hi op.
sorry about my anger, but i was in a similar position to you, before my dp rose through the managerial ranks in work he was a chef, barely above min wage. i was on apprentice min wage(2 pounds odd an hour) plus a part time sales job and I/we had a ds (not biologically his but provided for nonetheless). we lived in Cardiff so rents were high (compared to the rest of south wales) and a 2 bed flat (only thing we could find otherwise we would have gone for a 1) cost us £750 a month out of our 1000-1300 take home. money fluctuated as my pt job was 0hrs.
on the months where we had 550 left after rent, money was ok. it was tight, but we weren't balls deep in our overdraft. then for six months my hours got cut, by god they were the worst of my entire life :( I'm ashamed to admit that my partner regularly stole food in the last week of those months and some others too. we were maxed in our overdraft, sold all but 2 of dp's work outfits and all but one of mine, we literally had a pair of pj's and a some work outfits. we had nothing and seeing my dp go out to steal was the worst in my life :( he never got caught but i felt so useless being unable to provide better for us and for him having to do that. i also felt terrified too. it was at least a 45min bicycle journey to get to the nearest store that didn't have tight security and that was big enough for the sales assistants not to see you, generally took dp 1.5-2hrs and we didn't have phones. if he got held up for whatever reason i'd be on the doorstep holding baby ds in my arms close to tears thinking a cop car would pull up at any minute :( god it was fucking horrifying and i still jump when the door goes now (years on!).
its a shameful, awful, terrible life. it really is and i'm so sorry op. you've already refused help from mnetters but please go and get help from cab or something. i wrote what i did for you to realize you're not alone and please message me if you need a friend. also pop over to the credit crunch board. brilliant when i was on my arse x

Hi Op please do not feel ashamed, many of us have experienced similar in our lives, please do try & make use of the food bank, & the great advice on the thread, I send you all my best wishes & if I can help please pm.
On a side note to this why the fuck do jobcentres etc, make it so difficult for those seeking work, I despair of what this country is becoming.