Tube priority seat drama

[SniffsAndSneezes]

This will be a bit long winded I'm afraid (sorry) but I'll begin at the beginning... this afternoon after work I went and gave blood. I used to be regular donor but had to stop as I kept having delayed faint reactions, where you're fine immediately after donating but get dizzy and/or pass out anything up to (in my case) an hour later. So I waited a few years and was recently told I could have another try. So today I did.
Anyway, I got on the tube to go home afterwards (central line, about 6 pm which most Londoners will know is generally like a furnace) and I managed to get a seat when I got on (it happened to be a priority seat, I didn't pick that one by design)- which was just as well as I'd started seeing spots and my ears were ringing, which is usually a good sign that I'm going to faint. Knowing what was happening and what do I was leaning forward with my head propped on my hands, taking deep breaths and sips of water- not making a scene or anything but to the casual observer I probably didn't look the picture of health.
It's at this point that I get a tap on my shoulder and look up, and a woman with a not particularly large bump, baby on board badge and unimpressed look on her face, glares at me and says 'can I sit there please.' Yes, she said please but the manner in which she said it was still quite sharp and rude. I apologised and said that I really did need to sit and would she mind asking someone else? She then proceeded to very loudly berate me for not moving- this is a priority seat, you are supposed to give it up for pregnant women or disabled people, clearly I am neither so why won't I stand for her?? I explained that I'd just given blood, I wasn't feeling well and I was fairly sure that if I had to stand I'd either vomit or pass out much as I wanted to just tell her it was none of her fucking business. It was only then that the man sitting opposite me (also in a priority seat) stood up to let Angry Pregnant Woman sit down. Nobody else had offered, despite her outburst attracting plenty of attention.

AIBU to think that I shouldn't have to disclose my reason for needing a tube seat to any random stranger, pregnant or otherwise?? There a plenty of disabilities that aren't necessarily outwardly obvious, and while people are encouraged to stand for pregnant women on public transport, they are not actually obliged to do so and shouldn't have to explain themselves or put up with that kind of crap when they don't or can't?

Oh I told her I wasn't feeling well. To which she replied BUT I'M PREGNANT like it was a disability.

I can't be arsed with it tbh. If you take London transport enough, there are fights you pick and fights you don't. She had a rather large boyfriend with her and I wasn't about to provoke world war 3.

I was going to ask, as haven't lived in London since there were BoB badges (or maybe there were and I wasn't aware of it?), are there equivalent badges for people who are disabled? Or others who may be in need of priority seating?

I mean I would just ask if I was with ds, but would hate to get into a spat with someone because I didn't have the relevant badge!

SFAIK only BoB badges. It's not just about seats: a woman in my office told me recently how half a dozen Starbucks customers let her go to the front of the queue.

are there equivalent badges for people who are disabled? Or others who may be in need of priority seating?

No. In essence I think the BOB badges exist only because people campaigned specifically for them.

I think people are generally good with those who have visible disabilities

it's ones that aren't visible that must be difficult - e.g. the man that fainted on my train was diabetic. He doesn't need a seat every day I'm sure but when his diabetes isn't being controlled properly maybe he does. Same with people with MS or early stage Parkinsons etc..

It's hard asking for a seat when you haven't got anything visibly wrong with you. And ime, most people don't ask.

I genuinely don't understand why all the seats on the tube aren't priority seats. People who need seats have priority in all, simple.

Yanbu but pregnant woman though rude should also get a seat regardless of if she's nice

And pregnancy allowing queue jumping is a new one on me. In fact I accidentally pushed into a queue when 8 months pregnant and some woman was vile and rude to me about it. I should have played the pregnancy card.....

but still had to give up my seat to healthy looking mid pregnancy women

Except you didn't have to, foxinsocks - you chose to rather than argue the toss. I get that it's unpleasant when someone is haranguing you, but if you needed the seat - and it sounds like you did - you could have just said no, I need the seat, please ask someone else. If they choose to be an arse afterwards, that's on them.

well she looked healthy to me but how do I 100% know she was?

maybe she was feeling faint

I don't think she was but I didn't want to argue the toss

I tend to have the attitude that if she's asked for the seat, she needs it. I had significant doubts about her (!) but it's easier to adopt a stance and stick to it.

Well, she could have really needed a seat, too, but she could also have asked someone else.

I was sat in the 'give up your seat for pregnant people/old people' seat rather annoyingly

tobysmum77 I think my colleague just got lucky with the range of customers that morning!

indantherene Some train operators already do issue these passes.

And they also stick signs on the back of seats which say they're for expectant mothers, those carrying young children or those less able to stand. The train operator I use also reminds people that 'The need for this seat may not be immediately obvious'. Fairly simple rules which we could all heed...

truffles See my post upthread for the reason the badges were introduced.

Yes Cheesy I know how they came about thanks - I was replying to someone else's Q.

In essence I think the BOB badges exist only because people campaigned specifically for them.

Thankyou, I guess disability campaigners have campaigned for priority seating on buses and trains.... somehow though I don't think there will be a campaign for the right to wear badges saying, 'give me priority.I'm disabled'

I would've asked the man to move if it were me pregnant - not someone obviously feeling unwell. Yanbu

Oh so sorry truffles...

I had a very awkward experience when I was pregnant. I got on the tube at about 7mths, was offered a seat immediately but politely declined as I prefer to stand (not rush hour, all seats taken and 2-3 people standing. 2 stops later a lady gets on, looks at me and shouts 'all these people sitting and not one of them offers you a seat, fuckers, someone get up for this woman, clearly pregnant, needs seat etc etc'. I'm trying to interrupt her saying no, it's fine and tell her I've been offered a seat but she wasn't having it! I was soooo embarrassed (as were the poor seated people) and in the end I had to sharply cut in and tell her I HAD been offered a seat. It was mortifying as she was trying to help but could have just asked me first! I got off at the next stop and got the train behind.

Irony is that OP's BoB woman might well come to be glad of that blood donation in a few months. (No axe to grind against preg women here--I'm 6 months myself.)