To think a 7yo is too young to go out unsupervised? Please help!

[QueenMas]

Please help, I feel sick.

I have just found out that when DD is at her Dad's, he allows her to go to the park on her own with her friends. She only turned 7 a couple of weeks ago, going into year 3 in Sept.

Her father lives semi rurally, on an estate in a quiet village. There isn't much around apart from fields and a couple of shops. I live in Greater London, so a big difference.

I wasn't entirely comfortable with him allowing her to "play out"; although come to terms with it as the children play on the green directly outside their houses (which are in a semi circle), and they have floor to ceiling windows at the front of the house so can be watched at all times.

But now, I find out that she goes to the park without him. It's only around the corner, however it means crossing a road and of course she is completely out of sight while there. AIBU to think this is inappropriate for a (just turned!) 7yo?

I have tried to speak to him about it, he does not see the problem. He hates me so much, he takes anything I say as "causing trouble" rather than thinking of our DD's safety! He eventually "agreed" not to let her go, but I don't trust that for a second, he lies constantly. He is spiteful and would tell DD not to tell me. Only last week, I had to take DD to A&E after she fell off her bike, I thought she had broken something. I called and called, and text to tell him. He did not reply. Who doesn't reply when their child is being taken to hospital?! But he was annoyed with me so didn't care.

I've sent him a video to try and show him my concerns
although I doubt he will watch. As well as stranger danger, I worry about her crossing the road. About not being "briefed" correctly about what to do in an emergency. I feel that she is FAR too young to be out and about unsupervised, she was only 6 a couple of weeks ago fgs!

What can I do? Other than stopping contact, but is that reasonable? I feel this is neglecting my daughter

That was your parents choice and they were happy.with that ego.
Scottish secondary starts 12/13

Secondary schools start at age 11...unless you're not in the UK?

I didn't realise you were so hot on statistics.

No secondary starts at 12/13 in Scotland, which the last time I checked we were the UK

Ego- were you allowed off the grounds at that age? In my experience of boarding schools pupils at that age are very much required to be within the school boundaries.

Ahh right I see

I still think you're way OTT though and it's really not nice or right to curb a child's freedom like that.

I think if my parents refused to let me pop to the local shop alone before I was 12/13yrs old, I would have got the fuck out of there at 16.

It's just not right to be that controlling.

I was at boarding school and we were also pretty much allowed off the grounds until curfew after the school day was done, although we only boarded weekly, so weekends were at home. And it was in Germany so maybe not the typical setup.

what would you say about 11 year old that walk to school
their parents choice, they are happy to tale the risk then their choice.

But Ego- were you allowed off the grounds? You may have gone anyway but were you supposed to? And to be fair, we're talking here about a 7 year old (just), not a 11+ year old. There's a huge difference.

Egosum - April Jones did not get kidnapped by her own parents - she was abducted and murdered by a man known to the family who lived in the same village.

I think your dad was laid back letting you out in London at age 10. I wouldn't allow mine out until 16 if I lived there

How are you going to cope (more importantly, how are they going to cope) if they decide to go pack packing around Asia in a gap year when they're 18?

At any age sing

star we're talking 7 not 5

star an 11 yr old walking to school with a parent would be a very unusual sight round here

Or anywhere I would have thought, once they're in senior school.

Fakename, It is probably as I am not used to city living . I let my 7 year old go to the park on her own as it is very safe here.

I doubt she will go to Asia as she has special needs, maybe I will feel differenly about the city when my other children are teenagers.

I must admit I was really shocked at the 7 year old allowed to play in a park 2 miles away, and then died on a building site.

Parents fault 100%.

But it seems after reading this thread, I am in the minority on that one

Doesn't prove anything but you should perhaps get your facts right before posting something like that on a public forum. - what if one of her friends or family were reading this?