To be wide awake and unable to sleep - so come tell me your secret thoughts that you would only whisper down a deep well at dead of night.

[Salmotrutta]

One of mine is :-

I can't abide one of my colleagues.

This person is loud, wants to be the centre of attention and, whatever the conversation is about, manages to turn it around to them.

My heart sinks a bit when I go outside and the neighbours are out.

I don't want to have idle chit chat but DH bloody chats to everyone for ages and ages a bit.

We have a spare room it's full of rubbish and stuff but could easily be cleared out I spoke to my mum and she said she wouldn't mind she said at 26 things may not have worked out the way I planned in terms of having my own place but I have been with my OH for 10 years but my dad I think will go crazy..

Oh so you don't think your Dad will come round.

Is there any chance of getting your own place at all?

I've had an intense hatred for a family member ever since they had a child. I don't know why I feel this way and I hate myself for it. I've never shown them how I feel, it's just bottled up inside me. The only explanation I have is that it feels as though they're another person who won't care for me any more.

It's so, so irrational. I know I'm wrong - I'd never act on it - but it's how I feel. I just want it to stop, it hurts so much.

I don't want to talk to eat doors small child and I don't want him to play with my DD. he is annoying and pushy and a bit too rough and when he comes in I can't get him to leave. He is also only 3. I am a terrible person

Oh poor you Onions

I'm not sure. my mum said he will and he would be silly to be annoyed as I'm 26 no longer a child and engaged but I want it to be a happy occasion with everyone excited for us

I have very little money as my partner has mental health issues and got deemed unfit to work he receives some money and I am his full time carer we have enough to move if we saved up and we have been its just where I live and the surrounding areas don't except housing benefit so I'm stuck plus they are charging around £900-1000pcm for a 1 bedroom

No that's not terrible Elf!

Three year olds are very annoying!

pandora

He's a little bloody shit

He may not be getting much guidance Elf by the sounds of it.

I blame the parents...

Hah. They are very friendly but yes, not entirely stable. Very shouty!

Right.

I'm going to try again to get to sleep.

See you all tomorrow

Thank you Salmo it actually feels really good to say this I haven't told anyone its really upsetting I want my parents to be proud of me I was never a wild child, did well in school it's just I fell in love with someone who happened to have mental health issues so my life took a different turn meaning I have to rely on benefits and I hate it because of how people view me but they don't know our story

I'm meant to be doing a 7 day shred (starvation diet basically) and I've just sneaked downstairs and had a roll and sausage because I was about to gnaw my own arm off with hunger

I'm starving but if I eat my tummy will hurt. not really a secret just trying to distract myself

Hope you really enjoyed them Ipushed I'm hungry. I'm awake stressing about 100 silly little things that in the bigger picture don't matter. But there ya go...

It's probably true that they don't matter 123rd but they always seem so significant at 2am don't they?!

I would like a switch to turn off my brain so I didn't have to deal with all the worries and debilitating voices of doubt.

I always think about this and the idiocy of it to try and get some perspective:

There is a teen/tween boy who lives with his family in the flat next to my friends. When I see him something in his eyes and manner make me want to rescue him. I find myself thinking about him at odd times. His family are deeply religious, from an ethnic minority, and shout a lot - I worry about him finding his place in the world.

I am wide awake. 10th ancillary relief hearing tomorrow today. Should have been 3. STBXH didn't appear for the last one. I just want my consent order to be correct and then I can get my absolute and get rid of him the cheating bastard. I am raging with anxiety about it.

DS will be up in four hours. I need to sleep....

I'm wide awake - so much going on in my head.
My secret thoughts over the last few days are - I've just got involved with a lovely guy, really really kind, sweet, thoughtful etc.... I didn't want a relationship after coming out of a bad one a few months back but it felt right but....... I'm falling too fast and I'm terrified.

My bloody dog woke me up at midnight. I'm looking at beautiful beach weddings for just the two of us far, far away and wondering if we could swing it financially and without offending everybody.

I hope exes fiancée craps all over him and breaks his heart. He plans to have more dc with her and it crucifies me because I wanted more and won't have the chance. My dc will have more siblings but not from me, a whole family I can never be part of. I hear she's gentle and kind and I am thankful for that for my dc. It just seems so unfair that I was utterly faithful and committed in our marriage but end up alone, he cheated and abused throughout but he gets love and more children, a whole new family .

Bumble, your wedding, your rules

I'm up feeding my 3 month old son. My secret is that I fantasise about leaving him and his dad and running away to live on my own in a tiny little house somewhere quiet.