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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want DC to use Nan/Nana

294 replies

treehousepicture · 10/08/2015 09:52

I have just never liked this word and think I prefer grandma or similar but is it up to the person what they are called?

OP posts:
Taytocrisps · 10/08/2015 12:12

I asked MIL what she wanted to be called and she opted for Granny. Her other DGCs already called her Granny.

My DM was Nana already to my nieces and nephews so we stuck with Nana.

Minicaters · 10/08/2015 12:13

I think it's basically grandparents' choice but parents get a veto.

My mum wanted a name that means 'mother' in a different language. I put my foot down about that. Call me controlling, whatever. I wouldn't object to any normal, grandparenty name.

Coffeemarkone · 10/08/2015 12:15

" My mum wanted a name that means 'mother' in a different language."

like 'Maman'? Pretentious, elle?

PatricianOfAnkhMorpork · 10/08/2015 12:17

Was Nanny and Grandad in our family. GGM had already got the Grandma title and the next generation used it too.

I really miss them Sad

SylvanianCaracal · 10/08/2015 12:18

I do think it's fair enough to veto any grandma basically wanting to be called mummy (in whatever language!). And judging by some of the MIL posts on here there are a good number who do try that on.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 10/08/2015 12:24

What a very small and privileged world that is

Don't talk rubbish. It's no different to anybody else who has paid for childcare.

If you have 2+ children that require childcare it is often cheaper to use a nanny than it is to use nurseries or child minders. Those two options charge by the child a nanny tends to just have an hourly rate.

If I was broke and working in a NMW job it would still be cheaper for me to use a nanny than the other options.

muminhants1 · 10/08/2015 12:28

Lots of different views on here. My mum is Nana, she'd have hated Granny or Grandma - that conjures up a picture of an old lady knitting to me - as does Nanny, which is what MIL wanted to be called.

chaiselounger · 10/08/2015 12:35

My mum asked to be called "Nana".
My mil has always been called "Nanny Seaside" by all her grandchildren.

shoopshoopsong · 10/08/2015 12:39

I didn't really like nan/nanny/nanna but it's what my MIL chose as it's what their family used, and I'm over it now - it really doesn't matter (unless it's you being called it)

rainbowunicorn · 10/08/2015 12:45

Perhaps the people who feel so very strongly about what names their children call their grandparents should take a moment to consider how lucky they are to have grandparents at all. Many children do not. It really does not matter what a person is called does it?

firesidechat · 10/08/2015 12:45

I've been a grandmother for 18 months now and still don't know what I want to be called. I do think it is up to me to some extent, as long as I don't pick something weird or controversial.

I called my own grandmother nan, but decided on grandma for myself. It just won't stick. I think I will wait and see what grandchildren come up with for themselves and go with that.

Hulababy · 10/08/2015 12:47

I think it should be up to the people being called the name to choose. I don't think you can impose a name on someone.

DD calls both my mum and DH's mum "nana", she calls both my great-grandmas "grandma."

I think grandma sounds an older name personally. I don't like nan or gran really either.

Hulababy · 10/08/2015 12:52

I don't think it is a class thing.Its a regional thing ime. Mind you, "nana" and its form was often used more up North - so maybe thats why a lot of southerners get all snobbery about it!

badtime · 10/08/2015 12:54

God, I really hate nan, nana or nanny.

Nanny is a goat or a paid childcare provider, nan is a name (like Nancy, a version of 'An-' names) and nana is an old fashioned insult (like calling someone a muppet).

Horrible.

(Oh, and I am incredibly common, so that is not the root of my dislike)

StarlingMurmuration · 10/08/2015 12:54

MIL would prefer to be Nan/Nana but I always forget and automatically call her Grandma to DS because that's what I called both of mine, and what my mum was called by my nieces before she died. DS is only 9 months so he doesn't use either yet. I do think it's up to the person (or the grandchild if it ends up being something like "Gamma" because they can't say "Grandma" when tiny), but I just always say Grandma.

Hulababy · 10/08/2015 12:58

nana is an old fashioned insult

Really? Never heard that before.

Have heard someone say "n-ar-na" as a faux insult, which I assume comes from "banana" perhaps. But never pronounced nana.

Noodledoodledoo · 10/08/2015 12:59

I think a lot of how we see the names depends on experience - my Grandma was significantly younger than my Granny and so I think Grandma is a young option, Granny an old one.

I do not come from a circle of people who had nanny's but I also dislike the name Nanny as it implies a paid job. Nothing snobby about it just what springs to mind!

My Grandma is still with us so is GiGi as she didn't want to be Great Grandma for my nephew as it 'aged' her - she was 77 when he was born!! My Mum is not with us but is referred to as Grandma in conversations - something me and my sister felt appropriate. (Our favourite grandparent was Grandma so felt right)

My dad has taken on his Dad's name for us of Grandpa - which I think it nice as its following a tradition - I had no choice really as my nephew and niece are older so had established the name - am happy with that.

My MIL is Nanny which I hate but my DH called his grandparents Nanny so again its following a tradition.

chaiselounger · 10/08/2015 13:00

Agrees with Rainbow. who cares what they are called?
I never had any grandparents. Both my mum's parents and my dad's parents died before my mum and dad were 16.
I couldn't give a sh*te what they are called . Both my boys adore their 'grandmothers'.
If its a good relationship, then its actually a very SPECIAL relationship.

Purplepoodle · 10/08/2015 13:04

I left it to mil as my mum wasn't bothered (she goes with the flow which is fab). So mil decided on grandma. She is a bit annoyed that the kids use the city the live in to differentiate between the two ie grandma London and grandma Bristol. As she wanted first names instead which was just weird for me

scatterthenuns · 10/08/2015 13:09

I don't like Nan very much, but my mum chose it. She chose it because she admired her own Nana so much, and wants to be that kind of grandparent to my DCs.

Who am I to argue with that?

Sootgremlin · 10/08/2015 13:13

It isn't rubbish - the vast majority of people cannot afford, or accommodate, a Nanny.

It is not the norm, by any stretch, and the turn of phrase "in my world a nanny is an employee" implies a snobbishness that "I associate the word Nanny with a professional childcarer" doesn't.

EarlyNewDawn · 10/08/2015 13:27

I wish we had been firmer - all GPs chose what they wanted - I hated their choices, but decided it was up to them...

Now every time the names are mentioned/ I have to say them, I feel a surge of annoyance / dislike of the name. That annoyance is going to be around for a long time. Hard to explain, but it's something to be aware of.

luckylavender · 10/08/2015 13:27

It's quite snobbish to dislike Nana isn't it? In some areas of the country (Wales, NE, Ireland), it's seen as perfectly normal but in the SE particularly it is really looked down on.

zukiecat · 10/08/2015 13:28

My own grandmothers were Gran and Granny at their own request.

My mother is Grandma at her own request and my father is GaGa which started out as Grandad, but DD1 couldn't say that when she was little so he became GaGa, the name has stuck and my dad wouldn't be anything else now.

thornrose · 10/08/2015 13:31

I cringe at "my kids my rules" it's just so...I can't even put into words how it makes me feel.