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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want DC to use Nan/Nana

294 replies

treehousepicture · 10/08/2015 09:52

I have just never liked this word and think I prefer grandma or similar but is it up to the person what they are called?

OP posts:
DixieNormas · 10/08/2015 23:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Minicaters · 10/08/2015 23:14

Add message | Report | Message poster Sallyhasleftthebuilding Mon 10-Aug-15 22:56:31
I dont understand why GP get to choose.

Erm, because it's THEIR name. The alternative for the child's parent is to be the sort of person who says "Scheherazade? I can't pronounce that so I'll call you Mary." and then blithely sticks to Mary forever more. It's plain rude.

Izzy24 · 10/08/2015 23:18

Golly.

My very UC friend, whose children call her Ma, will be very surprised to discover how common she is. But she won't care at all....!

HopOnTheMonnerBus · 10/08/2015 23:30

My mum was Nanny then nan as the kids got older. Both of my grandmothers were known as nan so it was natural to call my mum nan.

MIL started off as Granny and has now become Gran. This was her choice as she wanted to be named differently to my mum. I thought it was an odd choice as she was only 44 when DS1 was born and granny made her seem so old.

My nan was still alive when DSs were little so they called her Gran-nan which I thought was adorable.

mountainofdreams · 10/08/2015 23:31

Yanbu, I also hate nan/nana. They won't be words used around our dc so hopefully she doesn't pick them up!

Judydreamsofhorses · 10/08/2015 23:34

I had a gran and a granny, and a grandpa and a granddad when I was little. The lady next door was called Nan (that was her actual name, although I can't think what it was short for) so I used to get super confused if I heard other kids talking about going to visit their nan, and wonder why I hadn't seen them.

Nanny0gg · 10/08/2015 23:36

Nanny Ogg I can guess what you chose!

Grin
ThoseAwfulCurtains · 10/08/2015 23:49

I'd like to be a Granny Surname, after Granny Weatherwax. Though I don't expect to mind if future DGCs want to call me something else, if I'm lucky enough to have any.

dippylongstocking · 10/08/2015 23:50

MIL is Nana. Nephews already called MIL Nana so it was natural for DS to call her that too. DM chose to be called Grandma, which people are always surprised about as she wasn't yet 40 when DS was born!

Growing up, I called my grandparents Nanny & Grandad, Nana, and Grandad X and NanRosie (which was weird as that wasn't even her name!)

stopgap · 11/08/2015 00:10

I lead a very different lifestyle to the one in which I was raised, but old habits die hard, and my own sets of Nanna/Grandad were so wonderful, that I felt it was only right that the naming tradition continue. So we use Nanna and Grandad for my parents, and my US in-laws are Grandma and Pop-pop.

lilacblossomtime · 11/08/2015 00:14

I've always thought Granny Murray in Me too looked too young to be generally known as Granny.

dippylongstocking · 11/08/2015 00:16

Also, I've just remembered that my childhood best friend called her grandparents Nooney and Tubbs! I remember laughing a lot at that.

71HourAchmed · 11/08/2015 00:28

In my family, gps definitely get to pick their own name. as the youngest of four it meant by the time I had my kids, names were pretty much set in stone. DMum isn't English, so is called the equivalent of granny in her language. Ddad was Pap, which is what he called his grandad.

and the person who said royal children call the Queen Grandmother, I know Princess Anne's children call her Granny...

rockybalboa · 11/08/2015 00:32

Grandparents choose. My mum and MIL both insisted on Grandma which can be mildly confusing but the kids get it.

aliphil · 11/08/2015 00:46

I was brought up to believe that Nan/Nana and Grandma were slightly common Confused (though Grandpa was fine), but I have no idea why; the only explanation I have is my parents being a bit odd, which is certainly true!

DD has six grandparents - Granny, Grandpa and 2 x Nana and Grandad. My DFIL and his wife were already Nana and Grandad to other grandchildren, so it seemed only reasonable that DD would call them that too. Unfortunately DMIL got jealous (as frequently happens) and announced that she and her husband were going to be Nana and Grandad too. Which is not a huge deal in the scheme of things, but I get mildly irritated that we keep having to add names to clarify which ones we mean. I keep hoping that DD will come up with her own names but no luck so far.

Judydreams, Nan used to be used as a nickname for Ann(e), Annette, Annabel, etc.

SenecaFalls · 11/08/2015 00:52

and the person who said royal children call the Queen Grandmother, I know Princess Anne's children call her Granny...

Prince Charles's too.

www.nytimes.com/aponline/2015/05/10/world/asia/ap-as-new-zealand-prince-harry.html?_r=0

Alisvolatpropiis · 11/08/2015 01:10

I have a Nana and a Nanny, I'm Welsh

I had a Taid and Grampy but they've both passed.

My parents chose what they'd like to be called by my daughter.

I can't really get het up about any of the grandparent names except Grumpy (it's an emotion not a relative), Grancha, Bampy and the unspeakably cringe Glamma pronounced Glam-ma, because they're so glam get it? I've only come across the latter once though, praise be.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 11/08/2015 01:37

It isn't rubbish - the vast majority of people cannot afford, or accommodate, a Nanny

Yes it is rubbish, I've known corporals in the army who use nannies, shop workers on NMW who do (my current one splits her time between my family and a retail worker) the woman who sells me my morning coffee in Costa uses one (I know this because her kids go for days out with my kids with the respective nannies).

If you have 2+ little children and you work whilst having no family support and are not lucky enough to have free childcare then you have to pay for childcare that may be a childminder a nursery or a nanny and a nanny will often be the cheapest option, around here the going rate for a CM is £5 ph/pc or £7 ph/pc antisocial many do not offer sibling discounts,if you have to be at work before 9am amd don't finish until gone 5pm then it's hugely cheaper to use a nanny.

Would you assume the same things about or make the same comments to someone who had 2/3 kids in a nursery or with a CM?

A nanny does not have to mean a super expensive employee or one from Norland that is a myth and a preconceived stereotype

also quite often Nannies do not live in granted lots do but it's by no means essential and many prefer not to. Over the years ive only had 2 that lived in and that was when I worked nights so they were actual night nannies.

It is not the norm, by any stretch, and the turn of phrase "in my world a nanny is an employee" implies a snobbishness that "I associate the word Nanny with a professional childcarer" doesn't

So it's not the norm for you but it is the norm for me and for many other people,lots of them perfectly normal people.
It may imply snobbishness to you perhaps that's because of your stereotypical way of viewing things. To me it implies nothing other than a useful way to distinguish between different types of childcare providers because nursery staff and child minders are not the employees of parents nursery staff are employees of the nursery and child minders are self employed.It would be unusual for a nanny to be self employed.and nanny is their job title. Nanny reminds me of no other type of childcare provider because they are differnt.
Would it be snobby for me in a relevant conversation to refer to anyone else who I directly employed as an employee? Or is it just nannies because you think only rich people have them. Inverse snobbery perhaps?

But do children with a nanny as in childcare refer to their nanny as the "nanny"? Do they not use their name or Miss/Mrs

Mine call theirs nanny first name as it is what she prefers. I've on,y had one who wanted to be called by first name and one who wanted to be Mr x

hazeyjane · 11/08/2015 03:20

My mum is nanna, and her mum was my nanna, and her mum's mum was her Nanna (etc)

I don't get the strong feeling about it!

Wrt the nannies thing - lots of people use nannies from all sorts of backgrounds - I have friends that are incredibly posh who have nannies, and others who have childminders or use nurseries, and other friend's who are not posh at all and use nannies - it is what ever works for that families situation isn't it?

My dd's best friend has a nanny who picks her up from school, she calls her by her name, and if she had to refer to her at school, she would say, 'xxxxxx, my nanny, is picking me up'.

hazeyjane · 11/08/2015 03:22

....by the way, are all the 'nana's' pronounced nana as in banana? Or 'nanna'??

DixieNormas · 11/08/2015 06:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bunbaker · 11/08/2015 06:41

"are all the 'nana's' pronounced nana as in banana"

I have never heard of anyone call a grandparent narna. It has always been nanna (Surrey born and bred, now living in Yorkshire).

hazeyjane · 11/08/2015 06:51

No I haven't ever heard a 'narna' either! I wonder why some have nana's and some have nanna's. Ds has a talker device (a bit like Stephen Hawkings with pictures, and we had to reprogramme it so that it said nanna for nanna, instead of narna for nanna!)

Mehitabel6 · 11/08/2015 06:51

My MIL chose Nanny, which I don't like, but it is nothing to do with me. The only ones able to change it are the grandchildren - and they often have their own name.
I know what I have decided on, should I be a grandmother. If the other grandmother wants the same I shall just add my first name after it.
It isn't for the parent to decide.

mathanxiety · 11/08/2015 06:54

I pronounce banana 'bananna'. Nana is Nanna.

My DCs have one Nana and one Grandma. Grandma relaxed that a bit to sign herself Gran'ma when she got to 75. She wanted the DCs' grandfather to be Grandpa but the first DGC called him Papa and it stuck, much to Grandma's chagrin.

I had one gran, one granny and two grandads. I would like to be called Granny when my time comes (not any time soon I sincerely hope) but I have a feeling I will answer to whatever I am called. Right now I am Ma to one DC and Mommie to the rest.

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