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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want DC to use Nan/Nana

294 replies

treehousepicture · 10/08/2015 09:52

I have just never liked this word and think I prefer grandma or similar but is it up to the person what they are called?

OP posts:
tilliebob · 10/08/2015 10:05

So don't use them? My dcs had 2 ft grans and 3 grans for years and they were/are all Gran/Granny X. I don't think I know anyone in real life who uses Nan/Nana. Maybe it's a regional thing.

GoooRooo · 10/08/2015 10:05

My mum is Nanny. She definitely did not want to be Grandma as she felt it made her sound ancient.

MIL is Grandma.

FIL was Pops, Step MIL is Nanny Maureen.

My Dad is Grandad, his girlfriend is just Theresa .

They all chose themselves what they wanted to be called and I think that's fair enough.

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour · 10/08/2015 10:07

Dm is Granny and MIL is Nanny. I personally don't like 'Nana' but would've let it go if that had been chosen. FIL and DF are both just Grandad (although DF's wife seems determined for him to be Grandpa as she keeps 'forgetting' to say grandad in front of DCs!)

lilacblossomtime · 10/08/2015 10:09

Bertrand I mean you should generally let them choose, but if you have a strong feeling against one of the choices you could let them know and they could think of something else. It might have to be something a bit more unusual if they don't want Granny, but some kind of a nickname might be acceptable instead.

tilliebob · 10/08/2015 10:10

Bloody autocorrect ft = gt

maybebabybee · 10/08/2015 10:12

Find such strong feelings about these things bizarre :S

why does it matter?

Redshoes55 · 10/08/2015 10:13

Ha ha here in sunny brum it's nan/nanna both of which I hate with a passion. However my mil/fil were nanny and grandad. My parents were gran/pops.

Now it's our turn and dh and I have no idea what to be? We are both far far too young to be grandparents even though our beautiful dil has a large bump! Grin

Her parents are a bit difficult and insist on being *the grandmother/grandfather. Grin so I guess we will go with the flow and get called what ever the kid wants.

At the end of the day who cares as long as it's called with love. Blimey did I just post that. Sad

Bunbaker · 10/08/2015 10:15

"but is it up to the person what they are called?"

Absolutely. Round her children call their grandmothers nanan. They think it is odd that DD calls hers granny, but where I am from and where OH is from they get called granny.

FungusTheBogeymam · 10/08/2015 10:15

It's up to the person being called the name, I think. I've never liked Nanny but it was what MIL wanted to be called because her kids had called her own mother Nanny and so that's what she was. Both sides of my family were always Grandma and Granddad so that's what my parents wanted to be called. I wouldn't have asked my daughter to call any of them by a name they didn't like.

Sometimes, though, the child will decide on something completely different - my cousin couldn't pronounce Grandma when he was little, and called our grandmother Bammar all his life.

Lasvegas · 10/08/2015 10:16

We had a paid Nanny for many years. DH mum was already called Nanny by the other grand kids so had to have Nanny for our DD. V confusing.

I told my my mum she was to be called Grandma, she wanted Granny as apparently that is what the queen uses.

Birdsgottafly · 10/08/2015 10:17

I've got a Nickname, prefixed by "Nanny". My Mum is Grannygrump (and she can be grumpy).

If it's a close relationship, "Nanny/Nana" starts when the baby can put sounds together and speech is starting.

Then Nicknames start, or the child settles on what they want to use.

Anything else would seem overly formal and quite cold, to me.

Fishwives · 10/08/2015 10:17

Strong social class element, I suspect - 'granny' is definitely from a higher social drawer than 'nan'/'nana'.

Howlingwithlaughter · 10/08/2015 10:17

Our parents chose what they wanted DS to call them. My mum chose 'Nanny', MIL is 'Granny' & FIL is 'Grandpa'.

Notso · 10/08/2015 10:19

I think it's up to the Grandparent to decide. I wouldn't choose Nana but MIL did and that's fine by me.

Rhine · 10/08/2015 10:19

Well I had two "Nana's", it's what most people call their grandmothers around these parts. We used to think one of our friends was posh because she called her grandmother Grandma.

Lots of snobbery on here. I'm also sitting on my settee right now. I bet you all think I'm a right chav now don't you ;)

unlucky83 · 10/08/2015 10:19

I think it is regional - in NW England my gps were nana and granddad (and differentiated by the way we went to their house - ie 'nana round corner')
Now my Scottish DCs use granny and grandpa (aka Grumpy - cos he didn't approve of me having DC1 -but that's long forgotten now!).
Didn't even think about it - no discussion - guess cos afaik locally it is granny - my DM sometimes calls herself nana - but usually granny.
My MIL lives in a foreign country, rarely seen, and is 'her nationality' granny. FIL is long dead.

TheUnwillingNarcheska · 10/08/2015 10:20

Up to the Grandparent what they are called.

We had two sets of Grandma and Grandad. Although my children have changed my Dad to Grandpops because we all call him Pops. He is fine with that otherwise we would have insisted the children call him Grandad.

My Mum refused to be called Grandma Surname as that was her MIL who was awful to not just my Mum but us as children Sad so she became Grandma and her first initial.

Micah · 10/08/2015 10:20

I don't mind Nanna.

Hate Nanny though. as pp said, goats. Especially when combined with kids. Also Nanny as in employed child carer.

Mil is Nanny, and constantly refers to herself in the 3rd person. "Nanny get you a drink" "Nanny went to the shops". Drives me bonkers. Don't think I've ever heard her use "I".

passmethewineplease · 10/08/2015 10:20

Nanny and grandad here, I don't like grandma it just sounds so old, our parents always hate when we wind them up say granny they associate with little old ladies which they aren't.

KittyandTeal · 10/08/2015 10:20

My parents decided what they wanted to be called.

My mil wanted to be granny but I said no because my granny is still alive and dd calls her granny. I also refused to let FIL be called by his name (ie john) but aside from that they picked.

My dad chose grandpa as that's what his dad was to us, however, dd couldn't say it at first so called him baba which has stuck. Sometimes the DC choose. My friends dad was going to be granddad and has ended up as bampy Grin

SetPhasersTaeMalkie · 10/08/2015 10:21

I don't blame you. I dislike nan and nana. We have gran and granny here. I prefer granny. I don't know how I would have reacted if either grandmother had wanted nan or nana. possibly just ask nicely if they would consider your preference?

SetPhasersTaeMalkie · 10/08/2015 10:22

And a nanny is a job not a relative!

TheWernethWife · 10/08/2015 10:22

I'm a Nan (used to be Nanna) and that's what I wanted to be called. Was only in my early 40s when my grandchild was born so wasn't being called bloody grandma/granny like some old biddy with a curly perm and a pinny, but I'm a gobby northern bird. So go ahead and loath it Titty, I loved it, different strokes eh.

DisappointedOne · 10/08/2015 10:23

You may find you don't get to choose. My mum agonised over what she wanted to be called. DD, aged around 14 months, chose her own names for Mum and Dad and they've stuck!

guiltynetter · 10/08/2015 10:23

bettercallsaul why does nan/nana have connotations of goats?! please explain.

my MIL is nanna which i find annoying. barely any cards spell it double N. and to the person who said they've never met anybody who calls them nan/nana...weird! very odd.