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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want DC to use Nan/Nana

294 replies

treehousepicture · 10/08/2015 09:52

I have just never liked this word and think I prefer grandma or similar but is it up to the person what they are called?

OP posts:
Plowingaway · 10/08/2015 21:19

MiL demanded nana with her first grandchild because she had to differentiate from other grandmother. So, that is what DD is supposed to call her now.... I have only ever known grandparents to be grandma/grandpa and slip in to calling her that quite regularly. She hasn't said anything yet!

Penfold007 · 10/08/2015 21:23

My DCs have three grandmothers; Nana, Grandma & Granny. Each lady decided on her own preferred title.

SnapesCapes · 10/08/2015 21:31

My Grandparents were always Grandma and Grandpa but MIL insisted on being Nanna. It's her name, I didn't have a choice. I don't think it's for parents to decide, it's one of the very few choices Grandparents should have especially because it's so important for some people.

DS1 called my Mum's new DH Papa because he already had a Grandad (my Dad). I let him get on with it; Grandparents have a totally separate bond with their Grandchildren that parents shouldn't interfere with (unless they need to).

twilightskye · 10/08/2015 21:33

How does a child have more than two grandmothers? Step-parent?

duffcake · 10/08/2015 21:43

Mine have a Granny and a Grandpa and a Grandma & Granddad, the GPs chose what they wanted to be called.

DH had GrandmaSooty and GrandmaReggie after the names of their cats Smile

DotForShort · 10/08/2015 21:44

I know someone who proclaimed that she would allow the first grandchild to choose the name she would be known by. I think she expected it would be something along the lines of Granny, Gran, Nana, etc. Imagine her consternation when the first little tot was learning to talk, pointed right at her, and said, "Monkey!" Grin

People have the right to choose what they would like to be called IMO. To refuse their preferences is incredibly rude, even if you don't happen to like the title they've chosen.

I'm also a bit surprised at the surprise WRT the class implications of Nana vs. Granny, etc. Of course class plays a role. It's the UK, after all. Everything is always about class. (Only a slight exaggeration.)

dhossell · 10/08/2015 21:49

Our parents decided what they wanted my mum wanted gran, my step mum chose grandma and MIL wanted nan, dd had other ideas and they are all just referred to as gran and grandad now. Gran and grandad with the cats, gran and grandad with the dog and gran and Tony Grin

GrumpyOldBiddy2 · 10/08/2015 21:50

I had no choice, I'm Grandma - not keen. I had a Nan and a Nanny, would much rather be called this. I was a grandmother at 40 btw (step grandmother officially but as DSD hates birth mum, by default I'm Grandma)

On the bright side though, at least I'm not Nanan like a lot of kids refer to Grandparents round here, I fucking hate it

BeautifulBatman · 10/08/2015 21:53

I asked my mum today what she would like my dc to call her. My dsis's children call her nanny, my dbro ds calls her nana. DM replied saying she'd like to be called Nana U (her surname initual) but the text came through as NanU. It reminded me of mork and mindy. So we've decided on Nanoo. Grin

howtodrainyourflagon · 10/08/2015 22:03

Wow. Strong opinons here. Why can't people accept that there are regional and social class differences in naming grandparents and there isn't one right answer? (In particular, the white middle class SE England tradition isn't the right answer).

Wigglemunch · 10/08/2015 22:09

My PILs wanted to be granny and granddad but my mother is extremely age phobic and can't bear to be called any variation of gran / nan. She insists on being called by her nickname that her friends use which is Pebbles.

Personally I feel bloody ridiculous referring to her as pebbles when we're out in public and I think she sounds daft referring to herself that way too, "come and show pebbles", "look what pebbles has got" "come to pebbles", ridiculous! I can't bring myself to do it and I call her nanny pebbles, (my DS will use both nanny pebbles and pebbles) she's not wild about it but has come to accept it. My in laws thinks she's mad.

LittleCandle · 10/08/2015 22:12

I am going to be Grandma, but that is what I was brought up with. My MIL was Nana, and she was rather (she was as mad as a box of frogs). FIL was Papa, which i didn't mind. My mother evolved from Grandma into Granny and my dad was always Granddad. It made it easy to tell the grandparents apart. I have no idea what DD's MIL is going to want to be called.

But i really loath Nana.

MulberryHandbag · 10/08/2015 22:21

When I grew up I had a Granny and a Grandmama ????.

My children refer to their grandparents as Grandpa and Granny, and Grandma and Grandaddy.

I'm not keen on nan, nana or nanny. I suppose it would just seem strange to start using that terminology as it's never been used in my nor dh's family.

MulberryHandbag · 10/08/2015 22:22

I had Grandpapa too. He came with the grandmama Grin

WandaFuca · 10/08/2015 22:44

I'm Nana. I chose that. I had no idea that people could loath that. I chose it because I had only one grandparent, who all my siblings and cousins called Nana. She was lovely. I'm absolutely certain that I was her special grandchild (though I have my suspicions that all of her grandchildren thought that).

I dearly hope that I can follow in her footsteps by taking her "name".

Amymarie90 · 10/08/2015 22:46

I would assume this is a conversation you have with your parents during pregnancy.

The whole of my mum's side had always been grandmas but as a young grandparent she felt it too stuffy so decided on Nanna. DS nicknamed her Nanna Muffin at 2/3 yo - she likes that.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 10/08/2015 22:50

I have a Nan(ny) and a nanna. Both personal preference to each one. This is the first place I've seen it be a problem Hmm

RaisingSteam · 10/08/2015 22:52

My parents are Nanny and Grandad
My PILs are Grandma and Grandpa

sums up our poles apart class backgrounds perfectly!

we have a life of you say settee I say sofa etc

HelloNewman · 10/08/2015 22:56

My mum would consider Nan/ny far too WC!

She is grandma, and so is MiL.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 10/08/2015 22:56

I never asked parents or PiL after MIL told me in no uncertain terms that she was to be grand mother. We have no grand mothers in my family - so she was nanny booties, she brought DD some in a shop and she called her that. I think Grand mother is snobbish. I dont understand why GP get to choose.

Nanny0gg · 10/08/2015 23:00

Yes we had that too... Except I didn't suck it up. I informed MIL that acceptable choices were Nan, Granny or Grandma. She went with Nan after a lot of 'cats bum' faces.
My kids, my rules, if you don't like it then you know what you can do....

Pray that they give you a hideous 'grandparent' name when they have their own children.

I never asked parents or PiL after MIL told me in no uncertain terms that she was to be grand mother. We have no grand mothers in my family - so she was nanny booties, she brought DD some in a shop and she called her that. I think Grand mother is snobbish. I dont understand why GP get to choose.

Because it's the name they are going to be addressed by. They are your parents and you don't get to dictate to them. Or you don't in my family.

Some of you really need to get over yourselves.

lilacblossomtime · 10/08/2015 23:02

Nanny Ogg I can guess what you chose!

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 10/08/2015 23:05

She was dictating to me, DD was a day old! You dont barge in and start demanding!! It really got my back up. She walked in, grabbed the baby and demanded that she be called Grand Mother! No, sorry I wasnt going to let her rule, not over my child.

vienna1981 · 10/08/2015 23:08

Nan and Nana are common. When you hear these words spoken in a rough Leeds accent it's hard not to cringe. There, I've said it. Conversely, Grandmother (and Grandfather) are pretentious. Royal children unfailingly refer to the Queen as Grandmother. It was the same with Queen MotherSad .

lemonade30 · 10/08/2015 23:09

'Ma' is unspeakably common.

my children shall never utter any variation thereof. Grand, diminutive or otherwise.