To ask you honestly would you have had children again?

[Behonestplease]

If you could live your life over, would you have more children, less children, no children?

I would maybe suggest that you look at Twitter for the accounts of autistic people who are proud and defiant about their autism. The very last thing they want is to be rendered unautistic. This discussion taps into the (to my mind) odious rhetoric of Autism Speaks about wanting a 'cure', and to rescue autistics and their families.

No this world doesn't get any nicer

No.

There was an excellent thread about this. Search for do you regret having your children and it'll come up. Really great thread.

Reputable biscuit, how rude you are! My DD has autism and I wish she didn't have to face the confusion, misunderstanding and isolation she deals with daily.

MrsDeVere - I am with you. My DC cannot go into a supermarket without having a meltdown. A freaking supermarket! How on earth will he cope when an adult if he cannot do something as simple as buy essentials without it becoming a big massive undertaking?

If I could take away what causes it with my boy (no diagnosis for it yet but sensory issues are present) then I would. Absolutely. It would not for one second change who he is. Its taking away the whacking great thing that causes him so much anxiety that stops him from functioning.

Its no comparison but take away my anxiety and other 'quirks' (I too, haven't been diagnosed because Im high functioning but share many of the same traits as my boy) I am still the same person, the same sense of humour Its just the one thing that holds me back from living, the thing that holds my son back could go.

I'd still be me. He'd still be him.

Reputable

What a nasty individual you are. Mrs d was only saying that she wished life was easier for her ds, who the hell wouldn't wish that ????

reputable

go wash your mouth with bleach. or lye
tyvm

I haven't had kids. I'm 47 and now is the time to regret it. Still waiting for a solitary pang.

I love my DNs more than life itself - they are angels and I am a besotted aunt - but I never wanted my own. Watching what my friends went through when they had babies was the final nail in the coffin.

If I had had my own children, I think I might have felt more connected or more earthed somehow, but the very thought of even one day of doing the grinding toil that is looking after a baby makes me laff at the thought.

Mr C the fat tabby benefits highly from this arrangement, and he knows it. We love each other. Anyone who thinks this is an inferior sort of love has yet to be woken daily by a thundering purry ball of belly fur on the face.

Cory

I admire people who know that kids are not for them and stand by their convictions. hats off.

a lot of unhappiness are being downloaded here, I wonder if some people felt external pressure to have kids and that's why they may have regretted having children.
which is not a very good deal for anyone.
(and I'm truly sorry for all who find themselves in that situation. )

thanks for your honesty, it's very refreshing!

I would have exactly the same children, even if it meant having to live with their father again, although I'd leave him sooner (that sounds bad, doesn't it? Sue me). I would handle them better though. And if possible I'd have liked to squeeze in another one. Hopefully a girl, as I didn't have any, but if it were another boy I wouldn't complain either. I would have gone a bit easier on the number of pets, especially dogs (we definitely overdid the dogs).

I totally "get" those who are saying that they love their children just as they are but would wish some differences for the child's own sake. It's not weird or horrible to say you wish your child had the use of all its limbs, for example. That is emphatically not anything like saying you wish the child hadn't been born at all. It's not even implying you want a child you can be proud of (because you already are proud of it). It's saying you want the path of life to be smoother for your precious baby, which is what we all want. At least you can give them a much better start than they would have had in previous generations #shudder#

Very few people saying they have just one and would keep it that way, but I would. One child is perfect for us (and DS hopefully.)

I don't regret my children and I wish I could have had more time with them - something I am trying to put right now.

I wish that my son didn't have the daily challenge of his special needs which have driven him to suicide. Of course if I had a choice between my ds with special needs or no ds I would choose the former.

I didn't think I wanted kids till I was mid 30's, then had trouble conceiving (DH on sperm reducing medication). I had 1 IVF and was lucky enough to have DS (now 7). I got pregnant naturally a couple of years later at 43 and had a miscarriage.
I partly wish I'd started earlier and had more children but also think the one I've got is the right amount at the right time

We started ttc when I was nearly 32 and had a difficult journey- wish we'd started earlier. We might then have considered a second.
Very lucky and happy to have one though, and lots of reasons to stop there.

I have 2 dcs but if I could do it all again I would have 4.