DH. Drink driving. Facebook. This one has it all!

[monkeyfacegrace]

Im fucking LIVID with DH.

He went out for a meal last night. Came home at 11pm, and I got hit by the smell of beer straight away.

He said initally he had 4 pints with a big meal over the evening, today he has changed that to 3 pints.

Im literally fucking steaming. Im no goody goody, I drink like a fish, but Id NEVER consider getting behind a wheel.

What makes it worse is that it was a performance car he was driving, and he depends on his license for his job.

So, as well as possibly killing himself and others, he also risked his job, his home, everything. He had to come home rurally too, and the chances of hitting a deer or another animal at that time was increased. Not to mention teenagers hanging around during summer holidays.

Can you tell Im mad?

Anyway, I just let rip, publically, on facebook. He still doesnt think he has done much wrong and that Im over reacting. So Ive blasted him publically. I hope his boss reads it and I hope he is FUCKING MORTIFIED.

Its almost a deal breaker for me.

Anyway, Im wondering whether Ive made myself look like a twat for using facebook to shame him. Should I remove it?

I feel really sorry for your husband. Do you behave this way in RL?
If so, there's your answer!

Worra, again, at 11.21 op said 'ok then I'll take it down'

YNBU. To be nuclear. It goes without saying. He could have killed someone and/or himself. Leaving families destroyed.
Or him rightly facing a lengthy custodial sentence.
But just be wary putting it on face book. He could probably will lose his job. And you can't blame his employer if they take that actions. They have a duty of care to their fellow emoloyers. His concern could be supposing he rocks up for work pissed.
Can you afford to lose an income.

paula If you read all the OPs posts she says that the boss has deleted it and they are carrying on as normal.

No one is disputing she has a point. No one is condoning drink driving.
But her actions are not acceptable.

chaise - are you saying it is OPs fault the DH drinks and drives??

You can take it down op, but once people have seen it. They can't Unsee it, can they. I think that could be like Locking the stable door after the horse has bolted

Chaise would you feel really sorry for him if he just drank and drove, but no one knew, cos it wasn't on Facebook? What about if he killed someone drink driving, would it be ok if the family of the deceased put it on fb?

It's completely crass to blast it all over Facebook, on his boss's profile.

She didn't blast it anywhere.

She replied to a post someone else "blasted all over Facebook".

And why shouldn't she?

She didn't start a conversation about her husband's drink driving.

She joined a conversation about her husband's drinking and mentioned that there had also been driving.

paula rtft the boss removed her comment not the op.

It looks like your post on FB was accusing the boss of drink driving, not your husband.

If I did something stupid, and my partner posted on Facebook for everyone to see, laugh at, gossip about me and discuss then I would be furious.

What you have done is childish and ridiculous.

Drink driving is obviously not ok. Yes, he could have hurt someone. But he didn't.

Delete your fb post, you're making yourself look more ridiculous than him.

It wasn't even a Facebook status. It was a comment. It doesn't even look like the dh was tagged by the op in the post.

I disagree her actions were unacceptable. She has brought attention the issue to the attention of those involved. She's not tagged his mum or his granny.

I had a friend whose wife rang up his company to tell them her hubby was taking drugs, in order to get at him. Massively embarrassing but work did nothing , they thought the wife was a loon, even if it was true and they had no way of proving and thought it a domestic issue. You will also be considered a loon.

You know what OP, you do sound like an irate loon, but I actually wish more people would react like this to drink driving. Those who still drink drive do so thinking they're invincible and couldn't possibly hurt anyone. They keep quiet about it because they don't want public shaming. Their loved ones keep quiet because they're ashamed. I don't think what you did was particularly dignified but if it makes even one of them think twice about doing it again, you've positively done a public bloody service at your own expense.

How do you know the boss happily waved him off, knowing he was drunk?

The boss could have been inside the restaurant, DH could've said "right I'm off to get my taxi now" and gone, and nobody thought anything of it.

I don't see how it's the boss' responsibility that your DH drove home drunk?

Yes bubbles, when I commented I had read ops comment that she would take it down, deepest apologies if my mistake has offended you.

She does not sound like a loon or hysterical. She has reacted to something outrageous.

Good.

I can't see anyone anywhere saying what the DH did was ok. Quote the opposite in fact. And I didn't say anywhere that people were saying what he did was OK! I was suggesting we support the op in going forward with this, in spite of the fact that you wouldn't do what she has done.

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter I agree. Yet the majority of the posters here have focused on putting the op down & not supporting her. Which isn't on.

She didn't. The boss did. [take the comment down] Let's not forget the op did make the move to take it down, but the Boss had already done so.

Oh & all this "he wasn't over the limit/that drunk/didn't drink that much"Op knows her dh, she will know how drunk he was & I think, to warrant this anger, he would have been visibly drunk in op's experience. Let's us not tell op how drunk HER dh's was, when she is the one who is with him, and you lot are not.

Whether he ate food or not is irrelevant. Alcohol is absorbed slower when you have food but a unit of alcohol does the exact same thing to your blood alcohol level whether you're eating or not. 4 pints over three hours would not have been out of his system when he drove home.

If I were desperate to stop DP from killing himself or someone else I can't really think there's much I wouldn't try to prevent it. Facebook may be tacky or whatever, but I wouldn't risk someone else's life for the sake of keeping up appearances.

If he is unable or unwilling to stop drink driving then I'd definitely call the police.

The "I'm probably fine because I've had a big meal" brigade are the reason we need a 0 limit.

OP, what your husband did was very bad. The fact that he can't even see how wrong it was is outrageous, and would be a deal breaker for me.

Msgrinch rtft the op said at 11. 21 she was going to take it down.

He didn't hurt someone. The tide is turning in drunk driving awareness. Why do you think the adverts showing people killing their children have stopped and now concentrate on people losing their job etc? Because they work better. People are very very unlikely to kill or hurt someone driving over the limit. They know that. But If they are caught they WILL lose their license.

This is by far the more realistic outcome and it's the higher possibility of this which has been proven to stop people drink driving. Wailing on about how he could've killed someone probably won't help. There is a high chance you've helped him lose his job so I guess that's one potential Outcome achieved OP

Different - thank You,

I don't really see how anyone could think giving out to your DP on his boss's FB profile is in any way appropriate. Regardless of the backstory.