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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH. Drink driving. Facebook. This one has it all!

606 replies

monkeyfacegrace · 07/08/2015 11:04

Im fucking LIVID with DH.

He went out for a meal last night. Came home at 11pm, and I got hit by the smell of beer straight away.

He said initally he had 4 pints with a big meal over the evening, today he has changed that to 3 pints.

Im literally fucking steaming. Im no goody goody, I drink like a fish, but Id NEVER consider getting behind a wheel.

What makes it worse is that it was a performance car he was driving, and he depends on his license for his job.

So, as well as possibly killing himself and others, he also risked his job, his home, everything. He had to come home rurally too, and the chances of hitting a deer or another animal at that time was increased. Not to mention teenagers hanging around during summer holidays.

Can you tell Im mad?

Anyway, I just let rip, publically, on facebook. He still doesnt think he has done much wrong and that Im over reacting. So Ive blasted him publically. I hope his boss reads it and I hope he is FUCKING MORTIFIED.

Its almost a deal breaker for me.

Anyway, Im wondering whether Ive made myself look like a twat for using facebook to shame him. Should I remove it?

OP posts:
PerspicaciaTick · 07/08/2015 19:27

Perhaps you should insist that he self-refers to a drink-driving awareness course as a condition for you returning home?

Apparently TTC accept self-referrals who can attend at a discounted price according to their website.

syne · 07/08/2015 19:28

lol, that's a quality excuse!

You've been with him a while I presume, so how drunk was he?

The denial thing is a multilayered aspect, He thinks he's done nothing wrong (at all?) or he thinks what he's done wrong is of no consequence?

I wonder if he'd be happy with a taxi driver taking his kids some where after the same amount?

Findtheoldme · 07/08/2015 20:09

Although he did desperately as to put the baby bed to bed and is apparently auditioning for father of the year.

Have you had a drink, OP? Letters missing, words added?

redbinneo · 07/08/2015 20:24

Have you had a drink Find*?
Extra space added?

ohtheholidays · 07/08/2015 20:42

YANBU

I was run over by a drink driver when I was only 9 years old.

The guy was driving down the wrong side of the road in broad daylight and hit me,he didn't stop,he carried on driving with my 9 year old body attached to the front wheel of his car.

It was cold so I had a scarf on,that scarf was wrapped around his front wheel,he knew he'd hit me and he knew I was still attached to the front wheel as he drove faster and faster trying to shake my body from his car.

I should have died,because my injuries were so severe the paramedics didn't place me on a back board or put my neck into a brace as they knew I was dying.

I survived,but I was off school for over 8 weeks and most of that time was spent in hospital,it severed a main nerve that runs all the way from my neck through my shoulder and down my spine.

The pain from that when it kicks off is so severe that my body just gives up,I black out and fall to the floor.

Because of that accident I have arthritis,I've had it since I was 9 years old.

YANBU but your husband was and on behalf of my parents for what they went through that year I hope your husband gets what he deserves!

LadyTmalia · 07/08/2015 20:43

my husband drives back from "C" every night and so do I. I would be devastated if either of us were involved in an accident due to a drunk driver, my car is precious to me and I could not afford to replace it. The insurance would not be enough to cover a like for like replacement, my life would be worsened considerable by the loss of the car.

Add in the fact that an accident caused by a drunk driver could result in more than a banged up/wrote of car, such as a fatality then no, I dont think you are over reacting

Findtheoldme · 07/08/2015 20:59

Red - I didn't say anything about an extra space added.

redbinneo · 07/08/2015 21:12

No Find* you didn't, but you post had one.
The point was people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

flamingoland · 07/08/2015 21:21

ohtheholidays that is just heartbreaking. Thanks You poor thing at just 9 and you sound so brave. Huge respect to you.

FabULouse · 07/08/2015 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

shadypines · 07/08/2015 22:16

FB ffs shouldn't you have let rip to his face. God the mind boggles is FB ruling all our lives, there is no hope.

TeresaGuidice · 07/08/2015 22:20

ohtheholidays how absolutely awful. You poor thing..reading that has made me go cold. Please tell me he got caught.

I'm sorry that you're still suffering Thanks

ComposHatComesBack · 07/08/2015 22:34

He is a dangerous idiot, you are a hypocrite (as you've drunk and driven in the past and as others have said could have been over the limit with a 'couple' of wines) and now seem to be getting off on the drama you've created on Facebook and on here.

You seem to deserve each other.

PolterGoose · 07/08/2015 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RJnomore · 07/08/2015 22:45

I cannot comprehend why the fuck grace has been given a hard time on this thread.

Her husband committed a criminal offence which could have been life ending or changing for other people.

She put a post on a social media indicating she didn't approve of his act.

I know where my sympathy lies.

Her having a drink and driving isn't great. But she had probably 350ml of 5.5 percent wine which is 1.925 units. Likely to be under the limit even if you downed it in one go and got in the car in England anyway.

He had 4 (she suspects more) pints of beer. Let's say it's 4,5 percent which is a reasonable and possible low estimate.

That's 10 units.

ComposHatComesBack · 07/08/2015 22:52

I know where my sympathy lies

Me too, with neither of them.

He is monumentally more twattish but she is not the victim in this.

QueenofallIsee · 07/08/2015 23:06

drink driving is irresponsible and deserving of contempt but you actually sound a bit unhinged OP. I am not sure what you are trying to achieve with your temper tantrum, all you are doing is making yourself look ridiculous. This cannot be over last night alone, deal with your anger somehow and stop projecting it onto this one incident

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 08/08/2015 00:08

Seriously, who is this man?

Seriously? If you don't know, we certainly won't.

I'd honestly suggest that you take the kids & leave now.

You obviously don't like him, you'll both be better off apart & you won't have to worry about what he's up to.

It may give you both a chance to grow the fuck up....

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 08/08/2015 00:10

I cannot comprehend why the fuck grace has been given a hard time on this thread.

Confused
NeedsAsockamnesty · 08/08/2015 00:53

Christ alive. I would and have left someone I loved for drink driving.

People have deal breakers and in perfectly normal loving relationships they can and do happen.

It is no reflection on the relationship as a whole if someone takes their deal breakers seriously.some people may pick things like violence or adultery others may include drink driving.

People also get angry it's no reason to call them unhinged or jump on the band wagon with all that "you obviously hate your husband" shite. She is angry right now that does not mean that she hated him last week or still will next week. He's done something that a lot of people believe is unforgivable or close to it and does not appear to have any understanding as to why it's such a bad thing,the op is just reacting to that.

TeiTetua · 08/08/2015 04:40

I think it's a major mistake to complain about your spouse in public--in anyone's hearing except (maybe) your best friend. You're forcing people who read it to take sides in a marital quarrel, and personally, I'd be embarrassed by the situation.

Oh yeah, he shouldn't have been driving after drinking. That is true. But YABU with your way of responding to it (in my humble opinion).

PLUtoPlanet · 08/08/2015 08:51

WorzelsCornyBrows, I wasn't paraphrasing you!

Your explanation of why Facebook won't get through as well as other methods of communication is a thoughtful and useful comment - not at all the same as the "Drink driving is bad, but you sound like a loon" which I paraphrased from plenty of other posters.

thecatsarecrazy · 08/08/2015 08:58

A young man I used to work with went out on his bike last Sunday and was killed by a woman who was "unfit" to drive. He was 20. Your dh is an idiot.

WorzelsCornyBrows · 08/08/2015 09:14

PLUto sorry, I thought you were - I used the word loon in one of my posts.

Sorry Blush

westcountrywoman · 08/08/2015 09:20

Perfectly reasonable to be VERY angry with him. I don't think that Facebook is the right medium to air one's dirty laundry in public though. I find it very cringey and rather childish, as well as somewhat odd that people can't discuss between themselves. Take it down.
You're mad with him (and rightly so). Leave it be today and when you're feeling calmer, have a serious chat about how disappointed you are etc.