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Original poster

One night of him has made me question our proposed wedding

143 replies

MassiveFfingMug · 06/08/2015 22:52

DP is going away tomorrow with his adult kids. I was supposed to be going too but decided not to - for one thing I didn't fancy camping and secondly I thought he could do to have a weekend with his kids and I could have a weekend with mine. He seemed over the moon with this and I was chuffed about the arrangements too.
Anyway knowing what an utter twat he can be and the way he loves a fucking drama and to make out that I hate him doing anything with his kids (despite me encouraging this weekend and various other stuff) I thought to myself earlier "I bet he tries to start an argument with me later". Just so he can say "you're in a mood because I'm going away with my kids".

Anyway - idea was that as we won't see each other after tonight until Monday - we'd share a glass of wine and watch a movie tonight. Wine is sat there and he comes in saying he doesn't feel well enough to drink alcohol (despite buying two packs of beer to go away with this weekend). Fine - whatever. He goes off for a shower and I poor myself a drink. He comes down and starts ww3 saying I'm out of order for opening a drink without him. I ask if he wants one - he says no Confused anyway this ridiculousness continues all night until he outright refuses to share a wine with me. Fine, whatever. But no - as he's not getting a reaction from that he starts nit picking - snapping, sarcasm every time I speak ... I ask if he has called the doctor about his urine test and he bizarrely accuses me of checking his text messages. I've resisted the urge to react to his shit all night and he's ginally said IT ... "I've not prepared for this weekend because of you". I asked how it's my fault and he says "you wouldn't have been happy if I'd prepares stuff so I didnt". Absolute shit and you know what, I'm starting to realise that if faced with a lifetime of this or being a crazy dog woman --- give me the kennel number

OP posts:
RebootYourEngine · 06/08/2015 23:10

Do you live together? Is it possible for you to change the locks before he comes home from his trip. With his bags all packed ready for him to piss off.

squishyeyeballs · 06/08/2015 23:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 06/08/2015 23:10

Christ, I'd run a mile if I were you OP.

coffeenowalnuts · 06/08/2015 23:11

Have you posted about this guy several times before? It sounds very familiar.

My feeling is always the same - he's a spiteful manchild who will never be on your side, however old his kids get, and sooner or later you've got to stop moaning about him and take your life back!

Original poster
MassiveFfingMug · 06/08/2015 23:11

No I posted about my mother and have name changed! Not about twat face though.

OP posts:
FarFromAnyRoad · 06/08/2015 23:12

This does sound a bit familiar but if not how depressing that there's more than one - I can't use the word 'man' here - male with such a fucked up personality in the world.

knickernicker · 06/08/2015 23:13

I remember your previous thread about the proposed camping trip. Do you seriously want to spend the rest of your life like this?

DragonsCanHop · 06/08/2015 23:13

Gas lighting

Do not marry him

Take the opportunity whilst he is away to get rid.

SparkleSoiree · 06/08/2015 23:14

50 years with that kind of behaviour?

You deserve happiness not misery.

Grammartiiime · 06/08/2015 23:15

op why did you even agree to marry him? you sound like you hate him.

rewind: why did you go out with him in the first place?! if he's been like this from the very beginning...

Glitoris · 06/08/2015 23:15

Will all the Miss Marples feck off with the 'I remember him'....OP has said she hasn't posted about him before.

IHeartKingThistle · 06/08/2015 23:15

Do your DC get on with him or do they think he's a twatface too?

(BTW, don't marry him.)

Flowers
BerylStreep · 06/08/2015 23:16

Well, what are you going to do?

When are you supposed to be getting married? How long have you been together / planning to get married?

What did you see in him?

It doesn't sound like the relationship has much going for it.

Original poster
MassiveFfingMug · 06/08/2015 23:16

You know I got an email today from the big wigs at work saying there was considerable pressure to save money and as a result there would be a job freeze and possible redundancies. I've been shitting mysen about this as ive just finished year 4 of uni to get this job. I told dp how scared I was only to be told "you're only facing what every other working person faces". (Like I've not worked before Hmm ) and I went on to say "I'm just fed up ... All that hard work over the past four years and now this" to which he replied "yep - arnt we all". Thanks for the support, twat face ... When Ive been supporting him none stop over redundancies at his place yet when it's me its treated like its a non event

OP posts:
Canyouforgiveher · 06/08/2015 23:16

Well if you do stay with him, you can't say he didn't tell you very clearly who he is and what marriage to him will be like.

SlightlyJaded · 06/08/2015 23:17

You know what? The fact that you KNEW the argument was coming says it all.

If it had been out of the blue/out of character, it might be worth analysis.

But it's not. It's par for the course because he is a big baby who needs constant ego bolstering at your expense. There is NOTHING you could do to prevent an argument because he had already made the decision that a row would happen. People like him need to do this as it is the only way that they can assert themselves. Because they are selfish, childish twats.

He will get worse. You will end up hating him. I speak from bitter experience.

RUN

Original poster
MassiveFfingMug · 06/08/2015 23:20

But why??? Ffs I told him to go on his own (like he wanted to!). I even bought him the beer he wanted to go with today .... All I wanted was a nice night with him before we went!! Why would he not want that too?? It makes no sense!!

OP posts:
isupposeitsverynice · 06/08/2015 23:22

Bin him, he sounds like a dick. Onwards and upwards with your new degree! Congratulations on finishing university Wine Flowers

BastardGoDarkly · 06/08/2015 23:22

Run op. Far and fast. Bastards dont change when you marry them, they reeeeaally don't Flowers

KetchupIsNearlyAVegetable · 06/08/2015 23:22

What's your housing situation? Is it his place, yours, joint?

arethereanyleftatall · 06/08/2015 23:24

Please don't marry this man, op, please don't.
He sounds exactly like my stepfather, and my poor mother is stuck and miserable as sin.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 06/08/2015 23:25

Because its not all about him ... you wanted a nice night, he wanted to spoil it, so he had the attention. Negative attentiin on him better than positive attention in you

SilverBirchWithout · 06/08/2015 23:26

Is his relationship with his kids stressful for him? Not making excuses, as he sounds a bit of an arse, frankly. But I can't help wondering whether your arguments/his bad behaviour is always triggered when he is stressed about them.

If he has a bad relationship with them, or somehow cannot deal with it, he sounds like his way of coping with that negativity is to drag you into, so he cannot deflect the blame.

Tell him to sort himself out or you will be showing him the door.

Ohfourfoxache · 06/08/2015 23:28

Sod giving him the option of sorting himself out or showing him the door - bin the fucker. As others have said, the fact that you knew there would be an argument says it all.

Run. Run like the wind.

SweetAndFullOfGrace · 06/08/2015 23:29

I'm struggling to understand the issue.

You don't like being in a relationship with him. And you don't like him that much.

Why not just dump him?