AIBU?
To think this isn't a joint party?
TheOnlyReality · 06/08/2015 17:22
Dh is a twin and they are having a big birthday on Saturday. SIL asked ages ago if I would host a party and she would split the cost with us. I was happy to as we do usually have a summer BBQ and I usually love hosting.
The party is this weekend and at least 40 people are coming with an even split of our guests and theirs. I've just done the food and booze shop and despite buying bog standard burgers and sausages, with six bottles of wine and a bottle of Pimms it has come to £165.
SIL had told me she's bought three bottles of wine and some gin, ten burger rolls and is making a pasta salad so she'd like to give me £20 towards the food.
I haven't told her how much I've spent and dh won't let me, his argument is we usually do a party and it's too much hassle to claw it back from them.
I'm currently severely depressed (signed off work for the past six months) and I'm on a lot of medication so I'm not trusting any of my reactions at the moment. But I'm fucking fuming. I feel like we've been scammed, the party is twice the size it would have been if it was just us and any fule would no that forty guests would be pricey to cater for. I feel a bit humiliated by the twenty quid offer and want to invoice them.
Aibu?
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 06/08/2015 17:27
You have to say something otherwise you'll stew and end up more and more pissed off.
three bottles of wine and some gin, ten burger rolls and is making a pasta salad so she'd like to give me £20 towards the food. Bloody hell we'd finish that off without guests over a weekend! 
You have to get dh onside and tell her you want half, it's a joint party, it's bloody obvious isn't it?
SugarOnTop · 06/08/2015 17:28
she knows full well her share costs more than £20...she's taking advantage of you. don't let her. i would ignore your dh's comments on this one because all he is doing is making you a doormat and a mug. she wanted a joint party and that means splitting the costs 50/50. cheeky cow!
TheOnlyReality · 06/08/2015 17:31
She's always been tricky. But she doesn't entertain so maybe she thinks it's enough? I've bought plenty so no worries about under catering but we are out of pocket because of the extra guests, it's a huge party for us.
I might just text and say 'the bill so far is £165 for all the food, booze and paper plates etc' but I am a huge wimp at the moment.
The5DayChicken · 06/08/2015 17:35
I'm going to guess she simply hasn't thought it through properly. If you have the kind of relationship where you can poke a bit of fun at each other, I'd message back with a big smiley face asking how far she thinks 3 bottles of wine, a bit of gin and £20 is really going to go for 40 people. Maybe sign it off with 'pull the other one!'.
wowfudge · 06/08/2015 17:35
This is just the sort of thing you need to discuss before anyone buys anything - draw up a list and decide who is getting what. Maybe she doesn't realise how much it's cost or thinks people will bring stuff with them.
Could you ask her to provide some more bread, accompaniments - ketchup, mayo, potato wedges etc, salad and some ice cream and soft drinks instead of giving you £20?
PoppyFleur · 06/08/2015 17:37
Gosh a whole £1 per head budget! Does your SIL believe you have biblical powers when it comes to feeding the masses?
YANBU your SIL is being very cheeky, do not let this drop because in addition to hosting duties you will have all the cleaning and tidying up to do as well.
In all honesty, she is blatantly having a laugh, 10 burger rolls for 40 people - is the plan to quarter each burger?
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