Nursery rhymes AIBU

[GhostlyFigureAtTheEndOfYourBed]

AIBU to be totally freaked out about this?

I live in a farm and these past few nights I swear I have seen my scarecrow come to life He shakes his hand and feet and sings while his hat is flopping about. Really scared me, though I suppose it's good for scaring the crows! WWYD?

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Fair enough! Sounds like your plate is full at the moment. When it's cleared you may feel that you regain more control over your life.

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

Ooh, have just spotted some new neighbours moving in. The Spratts; they seem very nice. The husband, Jack, is as thin as a beanpole, and his wife is the size of a house, but their platters are the cleanest I've ever seen!

Must ask how they keep them so shiny!

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

We have a music man down our way, and Boy! Can he play! He's a multi-talented chap.

His big trombone can be a little annoying at times though, especially when you can hear it oompah oompah oompah pah-ing well into the early hours.

Might have to have a gentle word with him . . .

[x2boys]

would ibu to keep my dsd cindy in the cellar to sleep with the mice and rats and make her clean the house etc whilst me and my two dd lounge about doing nothing untill they have to make themselves look beautiful for the ball being held at price charming,s castle tonight?

[LadyPlumpington]

There is a young man walking down the road playing his pipe and there are RATS following him, I tell you, RATS.

WIBU to call environmental health on him?

Apropos of nothing, DS is being a nuisance today. I wish he'd vanish off for a bit and leave me in peace.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Wasn't sure whether to post this here or in Baby Names! Long story short: my DF got me a job but it was all based on a misunderstanding about my CV and it was just too awkward to put things right when we realised. My new boss (hottie!) was seriously unimpressed when it looked like I couldn't meet his targets, but then I had a stroke of luck. A vertically challenged man I didn't know came along and basically told me what to do, and it all worked out brilliantly - not only did I make a lot of money for my boss, he was so impressed that we actually got married!

Trouble is, the man has re-appeared now and is demanding that I hand over DS1 in return for his help last year. Well, obviously, I'm not keen on that. The only way out is for me to guess his name. I'm guessing it might be something a bit out there - he's not really a classic names type. Any ideas?

I'm wondering about Gavin.

[FadedRed]

It's a SCAM Gasp0 I saw it on Watchdog. You're way off with Gavin.
send me £500 in used notes and I'll tell you his real name

[Bettercallsaul1]

Gasp0 - I think your only possible recourse is to send a messenger up and down the land to try to find out. Who knows? You may find the individual you seek dancing gleefully round a campfire in a forest, incanting his name. My money's on Barry.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Bit farfetched, Better! Does she think I was born yesterday?

Faded, where should I send the readies? As it happens, I'm in a position ot order a herald courier whenever I need one.

[CigarsofthePharoahs]

Dh is cooking sausages for dinner tonight. Such a lot of noise! I keep hearing POP then BANG.
Anyway, the silly man is frying them rather than grilling and they've all exploded. I really wanted sausages tonight.

[Stinchcombebabycafe]

It's all right for the rest of you, but due to racial stereotyping of south Walians, I've been accused of stealing a leg of beef!

[IAmAPaleontologist]

ffs the dds have worn their shoes out again! every day i buy them new ones but by next morning they are worn out, they are costing me a bloody fortune! aibu to ask a local lad to sit in their room and watch them all night to see what happens?

[CoogerAndDark]

I think I need to call Environmental Services. We live near a railway line and normally there is 't a problem But there's a new locomotive on it and in the space of a week it's derailed and ploughed through a nature reserve several times. The timetable can't be good for commuting or day trips so why on earth is it even allowed to carry on running!

Not in UK btw. Don't want to say as Outy.

[Thistledew]

I have been babysitting DNephew all day and he won't stop wining for a fish. I have resorted to chain smoking and am seriously considering taking some class A drugs. Come to think of it, I might give DN some too. WIBU? I'm not a bad babysitter- I have made him do his singing and dancing practice for his parents, even though they are complete alcoholics. FGS, I will serve the child any sort of fish he wants on his special plate, just as soon as the ship comes in.

[FadedRed]

I was walking down the street and saw an old man, who was complaining that he had birds nesting in his (very long and unkempt) beard. He was going on about larks and hens and owls and wrens. Should I call the local MH team or the RSPB? WWYD?

[QueenOfThorns]

Should I call out of hours about DD1? She ate up all her main course tonight, but as soon as I brought out the dessert, she started sobbing and sobbing and just wouldn't stop. It was her favourite, too - rice pudding - I've made it every night this week as a special treat.

WWYD?

[Fixitwithwine]

Well I spent all morning baking these lovely fat cherry topped currant buns to sell and the last five customers seem to think they're only worth 1p. Cheeky bastards!

[Leskelly]

My cat went to London to see the queen. He came home looking very smug..must have been chasing mice from under chairs!

[MrsWooster]

Apologies for Daily Fail link
//www.mailisbollocks.com
But how can they keep going on about benefit cheats like this woman with 10 kids who has an entire shoe, paid for by"hardworking taxpayers" when we all know the truth is that most claimants are like my poor NDN, Mother Hubbard, who can't even afford a bone for her dog as the cupboard is bare?

[FatGirlRuns]

Any advice on how to stop DH snoring so bloody loud? He bumped his head at bed time and I can't seem to wake him. He'd better get up in the morning though, I'm not going out to fetch the doctor in this weather.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Should I call the RSPB? My DTs were fighting in the garden (as per! both very spirited little chaps, and very big for their age - although strangely fixated on rather babyish toys, which might make a whole other thread!). Anyway, a huge crow buzzed them repeatedly and they are both inside now shaking with fear. This happens rather a lot. Maybe an animal psychologist could help?

[Notso]

AIBU to be pissed off with DH. The baby has been up all night crying, I was trying to get her to settle but DH just kept telling her to "hush and not say a word" she can't even talk yet!
Anyway he was promising to buy her all kinds of crazy shit.
A mocking bird.
I told him that'll never sing, so he said he'd buy her a diamond ring.
A diamond ring. For a newborn, she'll obviously break it
He went on with a list of inappropriate crap, nothing educational.
She's is the sweetest baby in town like but I'm thinking I might LTB.

[Bettercallsaul1]

I've just witnessed something astonishing! My sleep-deprived neighbour has just taken her crying six-week-old and placed her on top of the tree in her garden! I just saw her climb a ladder with the Moses basket and balance it right on the top branch. It's windy too... I know controlled crying hasn't worked for her but AIBU to feel this isn't the answer?