Nursery rhymes AIBU

[GhostlyFigureAtTheEndOfYourBed]

AIBU to be totally freaked out about this?

I live in a farm and these past few nights I swear I have seen my scarecrow come to life He shakes his hand and feet and sings while his hat is flopping about. Really scared me, though I suppose it's good for scaring the crows! WWYD?

[ClashCityRocker]

Note to self: do not rock-a-bye baby on the treetop.

[duckyneedsaclean]

Wibu to call the police last night? I heard a metallic banging downstairs, cane into the kitchen to find some psycho banging kitchen utensils together and covered in the contents of my fridge! Even had spaghetti on his head.

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

You'll be okay Clash as long as you haven't chosen a risky bough

[anotherweddingthread]

AIBU to ask my DD Polly to put the blooming kettle on ... I'm parched!

[RockerMummy184]

There were 5 spotty frogs, sat on an equally spotty log, eating bugs in my garden earlier. One by one they jumped into the pond.

Not really relevant to anything, just thought I'd let you all know.

[x2boys]

should i call social services about my ndn ?not only has she only one bed for ten children but every night without fail the little one shouts roll over roll over and then they all roll over and one falls out it cant be healthy surely?

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

AnotherWedding - no point, Sukey will only take it off again

[cogitosum]

Aibu to think that we all know frogs go clap ladidadida not mmm mmm ah? There's a little green frog saying mmm mmm

[HumptyDumptyBumpty]

Well, all I have to say is thank god for the mounted policemen and Household Guard who helped me yesterday - I had a nasty fall, and they couldn't do enough to help. WIBU to send them a thank you note?

[RockerMummy184]

Ahhhh cogitosum, this must be why the frogs jumping into my pond wouldn't tell me what they were up to. I asked them 'mmm mmm ah?' and they all just looked at me blankly!

[Waffles80]

Don't get me started on the impact of private health care in the UK. my dolly was sick (sick, sick) and the doctor cheeky fucker only gave her one pill (pill, pill), and is threatening to come back tomorrow with a bill (etc etc). WTF happened to the NHS?

[Waffles80]

Actually, Rocker, the frogs round our way are also covered in spots. Are they diseased? Should I keep my DDs away in case it's contagious?

[anotherweddingthread]

Just been to my bathroom and found three men in my tub - one was making candles, one baking bread and the other cutting up a chicken ... should I call the police?

[Pedestriana]

I live next door to a farm. Well, he calls it a farm. He only has one of each animal but they make a hell of a noise. Should I report him to DEFRA?

[iklboo]

This day is getting worse. New boyfriend is in the army. Thought it was going so well, I proposed. He kept putting me off & putting me off.
First he says he didn't have a coat, then no hat, no gloves, no boots. I went & got him the finest I could find from my Grandad's chest, proper kitted him out.

Bastard's only already married!!!

[FirstWeTakeManhattan]

It's no bloody wonder small businesses are losing out to Tesco. I went into our local grocer, asked for half a pound of two-penny rice and the same amount of treacle. That's it, perfectly polite exchange.

Next thing I know, fucker chucks a live weasel in my face. Wtaf?

[AskingForAPal]

Mamushka - I don't want to alarm you but I know you're very fond of your old red rooster. I'd keep a sharp eye on your DH around him if I were you.

AIBU to be worried about my DP? He dished up feathers covered in cheese sauce the other day, and just now I found him trying to tuck pasta into his hat! I'm going to lend him my pony and send him into town to get over this madness.

[Fluffy24]

I've got anywhere between one and five hippos balancing on a slippery rock in the garden, then there's a crash and mud flying everywhere. Its playing havoc with getting washing dried.

[AskingForAPal]

Clash :o

[x2boys]

i have two little dicky birds one called peter one called paul, peter flew away first than paul do you think they will come back?

[Flingmoo]

Bloody Tories are doing nothing to solve the housing crisis, due to bedroom tax this old woman I know lives in an actual shoe... I don't know how she manages it. Same woman swallowed a fly yesterday and ever since then she has an insatiable appetite for all manner of insects as well as large animals. I am not sure how she affords it all on benefits.

[TheFillyjonk]

I'm having a real problem with getting my five children into a routine. Today I managed to get DS1 out to the market but DD2 insisted on staying at home. Then at dinner time I'd spent ages cooking roast beef and DD3 ate the lot whilst DD4 wouldn't even touch it. I can also forget taking DS5 out anywheee as he just cries all the way home.

TIA

Mummy Pig
P.S. This all started around the time Peppa got famous. Wish I'd never listened to that seedy talent scout.

[tatumsfunkychicken]

I took ds to the zoo last week and we saw all sorts of animals, birds and insects etc. He loved it so we decided to stay for the twilight grooming session where you see the zoo keepers getting the animals into their enclosures for the night. It was lovely, we particularly liked seeing the big baboon combing his auburn hair.

Anyway, on to the elephants where some misplaced talcum powder caused the elephant to sneeze and fall on his knees!

Now unfortunately one of the monkeys had been riding on the zookeeper's shoulders but was so startled by the noise that it leapt to the floor just as the elephant crashed down, it was awful! It was so upsetting. We were ushered away from the scene and children were crying and screaming

AIBU to call the zoo today to ask 'What became of the monkey, monkey, monkey?'

[AskingForAPal]

Tatum, I don't want to spread rumours but I hear the monkey drinks :(

[Lizsmum]

Have just noticed a little old Korean lady walking round and round my garden in a strange manner. How to describe it? Rather stiff legged and she keeps growling.

Sorry have to run ...she's started a kind of one step two step dance ....